The Apprentice 2, Episode 2: We All Scream for Ice Cream

The second episode of The Apprentice picks up where the last one left off. The Mosaic team is in the suite, wondering who will survive the boardroom. Wes is confident Pamela will make it. John thinks Andy will be the one to go, since he’s so young. Wes and Raj agree. Guys, if Donald Trump were going to fire Andy just because he’s 22, he wouldn’t have put him on the show in the first place. Sure, he might ultimately get fired because of his lack of experience, but it’s not going to be enough to just point to the guy and say, “22.” Andy and Pamela return, and Andy pumps his fist in triumph. There are hugs all around, which is rather amusing considering that so many of them just got done predicting Andy’s demise. Andy says in an interview that he must work harder than anyone else in order to prove himself.

Everyone wants to know what happened in the boardroom. Andy says that Donald Trump sniffs out any weakness. John states the obvious, that going to the boardroom sucks. Kevin does him one better with the even more obvious suggestion that they not lose again. Well, it sounds like they’ve got a solid plan and can now cruise on to victory.

Chris figures it’s been a long night, so he opens up a bottle of wine. Bradford says that he thinks everything is going great with Apex. Ivana, on the other hand, thinks Bradford is in denial and thinks he did better as Project Manager than he actually did. She, Maria, and Andy talk about the fact that Bradford is immune from being fired in the next boardroom. Ivana says that he was the weakest link on the team, and that everything was chaos. Maria wonders how he’ll handle being part of the team rather than being in charge – she doesn’t think he’ll do well. Meanwhile, everyone toasts their fallen comrade Rob.

The next morning, the Trump phone rings, and Bradford learns that everyone needs to meet at Trump Tower. We get a montage of everyone primping. Maria talks to another woman (didn’t catch who) about the merits of her strappy black sandals versus her strappy pink high heeled thongs. Neither of them screams “take me seriously as a businesswoman,” but whatever. Stacie is off by herself while this is all going on, and says that the women are all acting really phony. It’s like high school in that they all pretend to get along, but don’t really. As the other women talk about shopping, Stacie says that she’s not there to make friends. Is it required by law now that on every reality show, someone has to says, “I didn’t come here to make friends.” I wonder if you get a bonus if you’re the first one to say it on camera. Maria reminds us what we learned last week – Stacie is a bit of a nutball.

As the teams wait in Trump Tower, trumpets sound to announce the arrival of Trump, George, and Carolyn. Trump tells the group that he plans to get into the ice cream business, and I’m sure it will come as no surprise to you to hear that Trump believes he will have the best ice cream on the planet. And I’m sure it will come as even less of a surprise to you that the name of the ice cream parlor is Trump’s Ice Cream Parlor. Donald Trump could get more creative about naming his businesses, but that would involve changing his name. The task for this week is to team with Ciao Bella to develop a new flavor of ice cream and sell it. The team with the most money at the end of the day wins. The teams head back to the suite to make plans. Stacy, who I’ll call Lil’ Stacy to distinguish her from Crazy Stacie, says that the women have a broad base of talent, so they have an advantage. I don’t know about that, but I do know that Lil’ Stacy is just about the cutest thing ever, and I just want to carry her around in my handbag. Kevin says again that it’s crucial for his team to win.

Mosaic gets things started. Pamela asks if anyone has any food industry experience. Other than a brief stint at I Can’t Believe It’s Not Yogurt, no one anything to offer. All of them are interested in being Project Manager, so they end up drawing a name at random. Kelly is the lucky winner. He says that being a leader early is an advantage, because even if you do have to go to the boardroom, you can eliminate the weak members of your team. The team starts brainstorming, and Kelly’s military background is evident right away, and not just from the drums beating in the background music. He’s very strict about how much time they’ll spend discussing any one concept, and points out that they could be moving as they talk. Pamela doesn’t like how controlling he is. Kelly explains that the military taught him leadership. He wants his teammates to collaborate, make a decision, and then “fall in line and execute.” It’s a good way of thinking… as long as he doesn’t come across as so regimented.

John suggests that they start looking for distributors. Kevin is worried because the other team is so much better looking than they are and, “Guys will buy stupid stuff from pretty women.” Right, as seen on The Apprentice season 1, episode 1 where the women sold the lemonade. Kelly divides his troops – I mean team – into a flavor team and a sales team. Wes will head up the sales team, which also includes Raj, Kevin, and John. The others will head to Ciao Bella to talk about flavors.

At Apex, Ivana is leading the discussion. She has a chart drawn up on a legal pad and starts talking about how their sales will be a component of price, quantity, product, distribution, and promotion. Ooh, someone was taking notes in class. What she has to say isn’t exactly revolutionary, and Jennifer M. agrees, saying it isn’t a difficult concept to understand. Maria says that Ivana has emerged as the natural leader and nominates her to take charge. Ivana says she’ll do it, but that she prefers a collaborative approach. In an interview, she says that Bradford ruled as a bully when he was in charge of the last task, and she doesn’t want to be like that. Alas, Ivana ignores the fertile middle ground between bully and doormat, as the women start throwing out billions of unrelated ideas. Bradford says in an interview that Ivana was too much “velvet glove, not enough iron fist.”