Next Action Star, Episode 2: "Welcome to Hollywood"

The official premiere of Next Action Star (after the unofficial premiere that showed the auditions) began in true Hollywood style - with the semi finalists (although this is technically the quarterfinal round) schmoozing at a "Welcome to Hollywood" cocktail party poolside at Hollywood's Argyle Hotel.

However, the schmoozing stops when casting director Victoria Burrows brings the group to attention and introduces the host of the show, Tina Malave (who bears an eerie resemblance to the actress who plays Matt Camden's wife on 7th Heaven).

Tina tells the contestants that half of them will be leaving (actually, Tina, if you do the math, 10 out of 30 is a third) in 48 hours, and hands out scripts for a scene that will serve as part of their first screen test.

We get to hear what several semi-finalists "sacrificed" for a chance at fame and fortune. Matt S. says he'll probably lose his job as a New York City firefighter, since his chief wasn't too happy about him taking time to audition. Corinne had to put her boxing career on hold, and Austene was supposed to be in a play. Excuse me while I don't shed a tear.

Victoria appears to announce that the semi-finalists will be divided into "scene partners" - one man and one woman - for their first screen test. They will have to decide amongst themselves who will take what part and then rehearse. And so the competitors are divided into the following pairs: Corinne & Sean; Dan & Julielinh, Mark and Mae, Scott & Jeanne, Mélisande & John, Linda & Matt M., Matt S. & Michelle, Krista & Harold, Viviana & Reggie, Santino & Laura (whom several people mistook for Average Joe: Hawaii's Larissa Meek), Brittany & Greg, Todd & Melissa, Jared & Austene, Young & Somere, and Eileen & Matt T. Victoria then announced that call time would be at 5:30 a.m. the next morning. That gives the scene partners about six hours to learn their lines, rehearse with their partners, and if they can squeeze it in to their busy schedule, catch some shuteye.

It's late into the night and we see the various scene partners rehearsing. Reggie comments that his partner Viviana is very technical and likes to get her lines exactly right, which frustrates him.

Early the next morning, after Sean has had a chance to complain about how they all had to wake up at an ungodly hour only to end up sitting around waiting for the vans to come pick them up, the semi-finalists are taken to Hollywood National Studios where Tina introduces them to Eric Chen, one of the top martial arts experts in the film industry (shhh…don't tell Jackie Chan!) Tina goes on to explain that Chen specializes in a kind of martial arts known as "woo shoo" (not to be confused with "moo shoo" which is a tasty Chinese dish), which was showcased in the film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (just how exactly do you hide a dragon, anyway?)

And so class begins. Chen teaches the semi-finalists some of his moves. Predictably, some pick it up quicker than others. After class, it's time for instructor evaluations. Eric tells Viviana that she lacks confidence and that she needs to "attack the technique." Not one to take such criticism lying down (or even standing up), Viviana steps out of her spot in the second row and moves to the front line to tell Eric she disagrees with him that she doesn't have confidence, much to the shock of her fellow competitors. Eric explains that it's his job to critique people whom he thinks need help. They exchange a few more words in very civilized tones, and Viviana steps back into place.

Next up is the so-called "run & gun" screen test, so called because it calls for the contestants to run while holding a gun and firing back. Tina tells the semi-finalists that they will be judged by the same three casting directors they saw at the auditions (Victoria, Scot, and Marki) who will be watching their performances on a monitor.

Tina then introduces another new face. This time it's stuntman and stunt coordinator extraordinaire Kurt Bryant, who has worked on such high-profile action films as Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, and Con Air. Bryant's job is to make sure the semi-finalists are safe and to guide them through the blocking (Hollywood-speak for "movements") of a harrowing scene, which includes dodging "bullets" while being "fired upon" and dealing with a special effect that delivers a real live fireball.

Kurt demonstrates the stunt for them, while the competitors "ooh" and "aah" at every loud noise that goes off during the scene, including the fireball.

While awaiting her turn, we see Viviana is near panic since her partner, Reggie, refuses to rehearse with her, preferring to lie back and rest instead. Being a Yale drama graduate, he knows the dangers of over-rehearsing and doesn't want to fall into that trap.

Before we go into how the screen tests went, let me just take a moment here to comment on the scene these contestants had to perform. Granted, action movies are not known for their brilliant plots and classic dialogue, but this scene reached a cheesiness level only previously attained by Wisconsin dairy farmers. It didn't help that several of the semi-finalists mangled some of the lines.

As a trained journalist, I know that there is a saying well known among broadcast journalists that goes "If it bleeds it leads," which means a newsworthy story that somehow involves blood usually leads off a newscast. This saying was the last line in the scene these semi-finalists had to do, yet, some of them decided they could improve on this saying with such variations as "If you bleed, you lead," and my personal favorite, "he who bleeds, leads." Aaah, ignorance truly is bliss.