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Who Wants to Marry My Dad 2, Episode 2: Whatever Lola Hears, Lola Spillsby Andrea Shuman -- 06/30/2004
View Printable version of this article Thanks to everyone who sent in guesses as to the sister-in-law's identity. You were all right… it was the decidedly non-flashy Lola. She was so obvious in retrospect, why didn't I see it? Maybe because I wanted to believe, in my heart of hearts, that a normal-looking woman could be cast on this show. Silly moi! This is a program where even the executive producer's assistant, the lovely Tami, is a knockout. What was I thinking? We open episode two with a serious male voice-over asking us, once again, how far would we go to find true love. Would we entrust our choice to our three still very interchangeable daughters named Nicole, Jennifer, and Brooke? (Oh God, tell me that Nicole didn't get blonde streaks this week. That's it…she and Jen are definitely clones.) We spend a few minutes watching previews of what's to come in the series - ex-boyfriends pretending to be jockeys, a slap-shot contest, more bad facts to be revealed, and of course, the highly anticipated/dreaded polygraph machine. But the horseracing and hockey games will have to wait, as this episode will focus on the far more personal and intimate. After all the previews and reviews, we start in earnest in the Okland's kitchen on Tuesday evening, at 8:30 p.m. The remaining ten ladies have offered to cook dinner for the family. Suddenly, someone stumbles upon an envelope in a kitchen drawer. It's addressed to the women. "There's a mole among you," the message announces. "It's our aunt," the daughters confess. Suddenly, accusations fly between the ladies, and no one is safe from suspicion. Is it you? Or is it you? Over a very uncomfortable dinner, Jennifer explains that she wants the dirt from her aunt's observations. The daughters can't wait anymore. Will the real Auntie please stand up? After several false starts, it is indeed Lola who stands at the dinner table, ready to spill the beans on her former cohorts. And Lola has a great deal to say, especially because she took notes. Thus we learn that Nicole (the contestant, not the daughter) once broke up with her fiancé because he was allergic to cats. Nicole's reaction to this allegation can be pretty much summed up as: well, yeah, wouldn't you? This "cats rule, men drool" attitude loses her points with Marty. Next, Lola tells us that Melanie definitely does not like older men. And Marty is an older man. Melanie denies this vigorously, but then we are all shown the video clip of her stating that older guys, are so…well, old. Lola then informs the family that Sharon really wants her own kids. And Marty is certainly done reproducing. Sharon says that isn't true, but once again, we go to the videotape where Sharon enthusiastically agrees when she is asked about wanting kids. And finally, we learn that Sarah has a "potty mouth." Mr. S wakes up from his nap. "Potty mouth?" he asks incredulously. "Potty mouth? What is this, eighth grade? Grow the [expletive deleted] hell up, already!" Then Lola says something about Sarah's career interfering with a potential marriage. Sarah is in tears trying to deny there'd be any conflict. Fortunately, this torture ends, as Auntie Lola admits that all the other ladies passed her rigorous standards of behavior. But the relief doesn't last, as a fax machine rings. The daughters learn that they have fifteen minutes to eliminate one of the women. Marty tells the girls that he thanks God he doesn't have to decide. "That's nice, Dad, now go away" is the response he gets. Meanwhile, Lola hesitates to go back upstairs with the other women. "Why?" Mr. S wonders, "Do they kill her?" Back at the daughters' confab, Brooke observes that all the sisters are in sync with the choice they are about to make. "We all have the same intuition about this one woman." The girls gather the ladies together again to announce their choice. They apologize for having to do this, but Little Miss Potty Mouth Sarah is the one to go. Mr. S's response: "What the f*ck?" A singer pointedly warbles, "Baby, you're already gone," as Sarah hugs everyone good-bye. I hope she didn't get any of her potty mouth cooties on the other women. Because that would be, you know, really gross. Like, ewww. Together, Sarah and Auntie Lola leave the house in slow motion, as another singer tells us all about "beautiful lies." Sarah utters these decidedly non-potty-mouthed words of wisdom: "Life is a game, and I lost." Yikes, does this mean she has to commit hari-kari? Meanwhile, Auntie Lola begins her new "career girl" life as John Ashcroft's Assistant Deputy in Charge of Stamping Out Swearing. I'm sure she will find the work rewarding. Bye, Sarah and Lola! Best of luck to both of you! 1 2 3 Next-->View Printable version of this article |