The Apprentice 2 Weekly Performance Review, Episode 3: That's Crazy Talk

Well, lo and behold, just when I was getting concerned that I was being a little rough on Pamela and Ivana, I get an email from someone I've heard from before. Someone I heard from last season, in fact, disagreeing, shall we say, very strongly, with some of my harsher criticisms. And she's got a problem with my articles again this year!

Without further ado, let's hear it!

Mike, Mike, Mike,

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?? Your articles are still the best, however you got a little "soft" this year! LAST year you were brutal with us!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MIKE I USED TO SCREAM AT?? Anyway, your articles are still the best by far and your analysis is still dead on. You are still my favorite, but come on, Mike.. TAKE THE SKIRT OFF AND GET BRUTAL!

Your favorite contestant,

Heidi Bressler

Consider me chastised. Reading back, I think she's right. But then, of course she's right! It's Heidi! She rebounded from a rocky start to change my mind about her like no reality show contestant ever has. So if she says so, the gloves are off.

Man, I miss Heidi. She's got a book coming out in the fall, and I'll bet it will make a great stocking stuffer. I'll be sure to review it as soon as I get my copy.

Honestly, I haven't had a lot to complain about with Mosaic - except the name, of course - because even with the first week's loss they've been pretty solid. The women, however, are an uncoordinated, unfocused mess and it will take a miracle to win another challenge before the next reorganization.

Mosaic Corporation:

I loved both your ideas, both the million dollar giveaway and the lower-key $5000 idea. The key is that you recovered so well, and I believe strong leadership is the reason. The circus atmosphere looked like a lot of fun, and most importantly, the team looked like they were having fun and that sort of thing always rubs off on the crowd. I also believe that you would have won, as the assignment was to create a buzz, and from all indications, you did that.

Chris, John, Kelly, and Wes: We didn't see much of you guys this week, and that's because the women's spectacular screwups made for much better television. Look at it this way, at least you didn't do anything bad.

Pamela: I don't like you. Actually, I don't like the person you're being portrayed as on this show, but I have a feeling that if I met you in "real life," I'd pretty much not like you then, either. Your reaction to the million dollar giveaway was pathetic - it was pretty obvious jealousy that you didn't think of it and probably didn't even know about the insurance angle. If you don't think of it, it's not any good, apparently. Your negative attitude only serves to separate yourself from the team and put a big target on your back.

Oh, and by the way, "releasing vanilla scent in the subway" would indeed create a buzz, but that's because people would be comparing it to a similar event that happened in Tokyo a few years ago. Having your company bring to mind a terrorist attack usually isn't a smart idea. But then, you haven't had a smart idea yet, have you? All you can do is criticize. Hell of a lot of good that Ivy League MBA is doing, huh?

Raj: Once again, I'd like to comment on your style. However, there comes a point when style needs to be backed up by substance, and I haven't seen it yet. Step it up, my friend!

Andy: No doubt about it, you're my favorite. What you lack in experience you make up for in enthusiasm and confidence. No one else seemed to know that you didn't actually NEED a million dollars to give away a million, and as you said, had this actually gone through you would have been a hero. Trump told you to think big, and you thought HUGE. Well done. I just hope Trump doesn't decide to fire you late in the game due to lack of experience, as he did with my favorite from last season, Troy.