The Apprentice 2 Weekly Performance Review, Episode 3: That's Crazy Talk

Kevin: We didn't see a whole lot from you as project manager, but as I said earlier, the fact that you were able to rebound so readily from the million dollar disappointment was a sure sign of strong leadership. That sign rests surely on your shoulders, Kevin, and you should be proud of your team's performance. To illustrate my point, what would have happened to Apex had they received a call at 2AM telling them that there were too many security concerns, they couldn't have an A-List celebrity appearance? Do you think there would have been utter chaos, or the seeming well-oiled machine that we saw from Mosaic?

Apex Corporation:

I say fire the lot of you and make this show easier. Bring in the reserves, because the winner of Apprentice 2 ain't gonna come from this crowd unless something changes REAL quick. You need to learn to make decisions, whether as a group or as individuals, without the angst and finger pointing that have characterized your first three weeks. I'm not a huge baseball fan, so bringing Mike Piazza to an appearance does nothing for me, especially since he looked incredibly bored the whole time. I'll close this with a quote from Heidi: "It goes to show you that just because you have an Ivy League degree, it does not mean you are the sharpest tool in the box. Some of them are one fry short of a Happy Meal!" Well said.

Stacy: You've got lots of spunk. I HATE spunk.

Jennifer M.: It's not surprising to me that you're in law, because you can argue like there's no tomorrow. In fact, you're one of the few women who I wouldn't fire right now, if I had the chance.

Sandy: You crowed in the boardroom that your big accomplishment this week was getting Mike Piazza. Wow, that was a difficult task. That's like taking credit for dinner because you were the one who ordered it from the drive through. Color me unimpressed.

Jennifer C.: Let me ask you something. Can you do anything besides stand there with a disbelieving look on your face and make snarky comments?

Ivana: Hoo boy, where to start with you? It might be easier to list the things you've done right:

…

Okay, maybe that's not a good idea, because I haven't been able to think of anything you've done well yet. This makes two weeks in a row that you should have been the one on the down elevator, and you lucked out each time. You haven't done anything to justify the space you take up in the suite, much less your continued existence on the show. You're also lucky that you weren't in the final boardroom, as Trump sounded like he had his eye on you to take the long cab ride. You weren't the entire reason that Apex lost this challenge - technically, Maria and Elizabeth had the larger blame - but as the budget supervisor, you sat back with your thumb… well, somewhere other than where it should have been as Maria flushed your team's chances down Trump's solid gold commode. And one more thing. You were raped by the printer? Overreact much?

Here's why Ivana should have been fired instead of Stacie: assuming the worst, we can expect a one in three chance that Stacie would flip out, as she'd done it in one task out of three. Not only that, but she did it AFTER the task was completed, but that's neither here nor there. So by the simple law of averages, who would you rather have on your team, an otherwise intelligent woman who might have a bad reaction to stress and might cost your team? Or someone who has proven over three tasks to be absolutely useless and incompetent at everything they did and is guaranteed to cost the team?