An "Insider" Look at Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 6: If A Pig is in a Poke, Could Eliza Catch It?

So, did Yasur make the right move in voting Lisa out? Hey, any vote that doesn't involve the removal of Eliza or Ami from my TV screen is the wrong move, in my opinion. Then again, I'll have to deal with listening to their final words those weeks, so maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

I've been on record saying that this is the worst Survivor crew since Thailand, and I think I know why. The pool of Survivor contestants has reached a situation similar to the economic concept known as the Law of Diminishing Returns. If one factor of production (contestants) is increased while other aspects remain constant, the overall returns will decrease. If you think of Survivor contestants grouped together in one large pool, after Africa we pretty much hit the point where most of the GOOD candidates have been chosen. There are exceptions, like Brian Heidik, Rupert, Sarge, and my buddy Daniel Lue, but overall the contestants have sucked. And it's certainly not going to get better any time soon.

The solution? It's a little theory I've been throwing around since The Amazon: Survivor: Second Chance. It's a scenario similar to All-Stars, but you take people who were voted off WAY too early. Daniel Lue. Ryan from the same show. Hunter. Joel. Gretchen. Carl. Whereas Jeff Probst complained that we knew all about the All Stars, the fact is that most of these people were sent off before we really got a chance to get to know them.

What do you think? Send me your suggestions for Second Chance contestants and why they should be included, and I'll run the best ones next week.

Lisa, the Day After: Oh, JOY. Nine minutes of this. I can't transcribe this, you'll have to make do with a summary. The experience was incredible, and the hardest thing she's ever experienced. Repeat five times and you'll get the idea. Her breasts look bigger than her head.

There were several people that were opposite in personalities. No kidding. The nine women were all different. Repeat. Two women were gay. Apparently they're not anymore? She makes it sound like she's a saint because she liked the gay people (Ami and Scout, for those of you who didn't know). She was the only one who is married, and only one other one has kids. Oh, and the women were all different.

It was hard at first to relate to the tribe. She was not happy about going to a tribe of women, because she knew she could get along with the men because some of them looked like dads. There was a lot of cursing and sex talk and she was uncomfortable with that. As if trying to save my sanity, or to save itself, my internet connection goes down at this point. When the technology rebels, you know something's wrong. But now I have to watch this whole beginning part again. The things I do for you people.

Her smile really creeps me out. Anyway, she fit in after a day or two, but they WERE all different. The experience was harder than she expected. She prepared by working out and cutting back on sugar and caffeine for two months. So she thought it would be hard, but not that hard. The food was hard to eat. All she could think about was food, and that's all they talked about, even more so than families.

She thinks she was a good representative for mothers. Seeing as I didn't know until this that she was a mother… Anyway, she wasn't a prude or anything, but she tried to accept people as they are. She hopes she was a good example for Christians. She didn't like swearing on Scout's hand as if it were a Bible, since she doesn't take that sort of thing lightly. She wishes she would have told Ami that, and asked for the assurance that Ami would believe her if she did it. She taught them some Christian songs and talked about her beliefs.

Yes, that was all she said in nine minutes.

Lisa's Final Words: She was voted off because people didn't trust her, she doesn't know why and it's unfair. She voted for Rory specifically to please those women and to show she was true to her word. She left with dignity and proved she was true to her word. She walks away realizing what's important in life; people that trust you, respect you, and don't judge you based on one comment, and those people she was with on the tribe are not those kind of people. She loves Survivor. What surprised her is that it is a heck of a lot harder than it appears. She gets along with most everyone, but it was tough getting along with this group. I feel ya. She learned that she will never take her family or her lifestyle for granted.