Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes 2, Episode 4: Meltdown

Previously on Battle of the Sexes: There was a pool party. Tonya sucked face with Ace. Actually, it was more of a kiss, but "sucked face with Ace" rhymes nicely. The veterans on the women's team took the lead. The guys won the first two missions. Ace and Cameran got voted out by their respective squads. "If the girls can just not argue over petty and stupid stuff," Cameran says, "I think the girls can honestly win." Silly Cameran… teamwork is for kids.

Nightclub. Lots of dancing. Tonya dances awkwardly on her own. "I'm here to have a good time," she interviews. "I'm gonna drink, dance and play. I'm young and single, I'm having fun." While we hear her saying that, she makes out with Theo. Damn, we never got to see Theo operate before. Cut to Tonya dancing with Angela, then back to making out with Theo. Ruthie interviews that she doesn't know if Tonya is here to party or to compete. "She's getting DQ's," Ruthie adds, "and that's not cool." Tonya and Theo move to the van. I don't know what's weirder: Cynthia being in the front seat while this is going on, or Cynthia not yelling at them to knock it off. Remember when she found out about the Mike/Melissa/Melody threesome in Miami? "Tonya and I are like two kids in summer camp," Theo interviews, as we see Tonya pull his shirt off, "sneaking across the lake in the middle of the night to go play crazy games with each other's body parts." Cynthia looks bemused. Two words to Theo: "shady ordeal."

Back at the resort, some of the players fool around in the hot tub. Kina interviews that she has a great team. She tells Mike that she doesn't think there's a conspiracy, and she doesn't care either way. He thinks there will be an alliance on her team… if there isn't one in place already. "There's always alliances on Challenges," Mike interviews. "If the new kids don't prove themselves, then they'll probably be the first ones gone."

Clue time! Angela reads off the sponsor phone: the mission will test endurance. Be ready to go at 10:15 a.m. Tina yells about talking on the phone as long as possible.

Daytime. Tina is in a snit. She interviews that Tonya commented about using the cell phone. "Sorry, sweetie," she snipes to us, "big mistake!" Tonya says that Tina is on the phone a lot. Tina calls Tonya the biggest liar in the lounge, and threatens to call her out. Tonya maintains a certain level of calm, while Tina yells and drops f-bombs. Coral takes this opportunity to officially "pass the torch" to Tina. "I'm happy that I'm not the first bitch to cuss somebody out," Coral interviews. "My money's on Tina, because she fights dirty." Wanna know the difference between Coral and Tina? Coral needs a reason to jump down your throat. I don't see her losing it over a phone. On the other hand, I now feel validated about calling Tina "Discount Coral" last year. Yay, me.

Mission site. Jonny stands in front of an ice block with the BOTS2logo carved into it. Today's mission: Melt With You. Production people reveal two giant ice cowboy hats. He tells the players that this mission will test endurance and strategy. Derrick has no clue what is about to happen. C'mon, man… you didn't see Freezing Your Butt Off in BOTS1? Research, man!

After commercials, Jonny lays down the exposition. In each hat, there is a cell phone wrapped in plastic. The object: melt the ice to get the phone, then call a nearby "central phone." Tina yells about having it "hook, line and [Oedipus Rexin'] sinker!" Jonny tells the players that they can melt the ice any way they can, except for urination. Everybody groans, and I get a nice flashback of Timmy relieving himself on the ice car during Battle of the Seasons. Good times. The winners get a Playstation 2 game system with two games. Honestly, I don't see any of these people getting into Hot Shot Golf: Fore!. It's like Mario Golf, but without the Mario. The prize package is worth $400 apiece. To the winners: if any of you aren't thrilled about the system and like my writing, e-mail me. We'll work something out. Brad interviews that the mission is crazy. Jonny gives both teams 30 minutes for the teams to pick leaders, and adds that those leaders would have a final say on team strategy.

The guys huddle up, and pick leaders: Dan, Shane, and Shawn. Fittingly enough, Dan won the ice mission with Tara in Seasons. His plan: put the guys on top of the ice and use them like a saw. The girls pick their leaders: Kina, Ibis and Aneesa. Ibis figures to have as many bodies on the ice as possible, interviewing that she have good leadership skills. Coral: "Some of the newer people volunteered themselves. It's just stupid. It's not a strategic move. You'll probably going to end up going home."