The Surreal Life 3, Episode 10: We Never Really Say Goodbye

Hey everyone! My sincerest apologies for the late recaps - family issues. Many thanks to our esteemed Editor-in-Chief for his unparalleled patience. Let's get on with things! Before we can start the show, we have to recap the recap, so here is the shorthand: Ryan (Ryan Starr) hates Flake (Flava Flave). Flake hits the dog. Everyone hates Sally Jesse Raphael. Okay, I inferred that last one. All caught up?

It's daytime at the surreal house and the birds are singing. Flake is dressed in his Department of Corrections jumpsuit (I want one!) and leaning over Gitte (Brigitte Nielsen), who is naked and in his bed. She explains she took off her underwear and Flake feels compelled to check. Gitte tells us that this is their last day together and she would not have thought, when she walked into the house, they would have such a strong bond. Gitte gets out of Flake's bed and runs out of the room. Flake watches her go, then turns to the camera and smiles. "Whoooo!" Gitte believes that, "step by step," they all got together. Some more than others, G. Some more than others.

It's 7:00AM and Dave (Dave Coulier) is playing tennis hockey on the tennis court. Ryan is still sleeping. Charo is eating a half a watermelon. Jordy's (Jordan Knight's) hands peer out from his comforter and pull the covers tighter around his head. Why? Because Flake has decided to start playing drums in his room. Gitte, who is still naked, is bouncing up and down on the bed to Flake's drumbeat. Jordy whines that the drums are too damn loud. Ryan opens one eye. Gitte holds a comforter to part of her (the rest is blurred) and starts jumping up and down on the floor while Flake plays. Ryan's other eye opens.

In what seems like an instant, Ryan bursts into Flake's room. She's ticked. She tells us that Flake was too loud. It's 7 in the morning. She thinks he was doing it on purpose. No! Really? Ryan asks what he's doing. Flake ignores her, but tells us that, when Ryan's "Dirty Laundry" tape came on, he was a little shocked. He didn't know she said some of the things she said. If he knew that, he would have been "murderin'" Ryan. Flake continues playing and Ryan leaves in disgust. Gitte is now curled up on the comforter on Flake's bed. Gitte tells Flake that he better go to Ryan because "she's gonna kill you today." Flake doesn't care. "Kill me. I'll be right back." Ryan stomps into the bathroom and slams the door. It's gonna be a great day.

Later, Gitte and Flake are walking in the backyard. Gitte again tries to get Flake to go to Ryan and apologize about playing the drums so early. Flake insists everyone was up. Gitte notes that Ryan was not up. "Well, she's up now." What are we, three years old? Flake is not watching where he is going and almost steps on some weeds or wildflowers (I can't tell). Gitte warns him to be more careful, but Flake insists he only has eyes for "Gittay." "F--k the flowers. It's about Gittay. I'm a prisoner of love, baby." That would explain the jumpsuit.

The paper is here! The cover of The Surreal Times trumpets the "Last Supper: Cast to break bread for the last time." Dave reads to the group, assembled by the pool. "Cast to toast memories and friendship at final dinner. Regardless of the dinner talk, there's no denying that these unlikely friends have grown to love one another in very special ways." Jordy snickers and says "yeah," while looking at Flake and Gitte. We are three, I guess. I predict a food fight at the final dinner.

Jordy tells us he's glad he came to the house and met everyone. He feels a connection with everyone. Dave continues to read. "Will Flava Flave finally apologize for using Jordan's toothbrush?" Flake looks confused at first, then laughs. We get a flashback of Flake using Jordy's toothbrush to polish his fake gold teeth. Everyone laughs. Good times.

Dave is next seen in the phone room calling his son, Luc. I know this because of the handy dandy signage provided by VH1: "On the phone: Dave's son Luc." Dave tells Luc he'll be leaving around noon. Luc is obviously excited about seeing his dad again. "Can you bring the puppy?" Dave says he will. Luc asks what the dog's name is. Oy. We see the name grow through flashbacks: Charo calls him Cuchi; Ryan calls him Fatso; Dave calls him Buster; Flake calls him Bosco; Gitte calls him Boogie. Dave wisely says "we don't know yet." Luc asks what he thinks, and Dave suggests "Winger." I'm assuming it's for the Detroit Red Wings, a hockey team, but I'm sure I love it for this dog. Luc likes it, though.

Flake is in the living room petting Winger/Cuchi/Fatso/Buster/Bosco/Boogie. Dave announces that he and Luc have a name for the dog. Flake is upset. "You ain't gonna let him have Bosco?" Dave notes that it's up to his son. What is it? Winger. That was your suggestion, wasn't it, Dave? Flake tells us he loves the dog and loves the name he gave him (Bosco). Flake tells Dave that "Winger" just ain't hittin' like "Bosco." He thinks it's corny. Dave sort of promises to run "Bosco" by his son. Flake wants to run the name by Luc himself. "I guarantee you I'll have the boy calling this dog Bosco." Dave doesn't respond to this, but notes that Luc (perhaps Dave?) wanted to call the dog "Heckler," originally. Flake thinks that's corny, too. Dave laughs and starts to walk off. Flake doesn't want the dog to have a name from a TV show. Wha?