An "Insider" Look at Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 10: Kava Hangovers

Chad's Final Words: He has an amazing memory of a different culture, especially the reward ceremony. It was something he'll never forget. Being on the island is contrived, but being on the island with the native people could never be contrived. Chad, after what I've heard about the opening ceremony, I have to wonder if you're in for a bit of disappointment here. What surprised him the most is how much they actually suffered physically. They were given very little. He was surprised at how much they had to make do with just the clothes on their backs.

He and Chris were trying "like hell" to get Twila and Scout and one of the other women that Ami had under her spell to vote their way. Right up until Tribal Council, Eliza was gone. But Ami single-handedly convinced everyone to vote "women power." He doesn't know how she did it, but she did it. What can he say? Sure he's frustrated, but he feels lucky to have just been there. He's not sore or sour, but he wishes he could have gone further.

Chad, the Day After: It always freaks me out how much different the men look without their beards, I assume because their beards fill out their emaciated faces, I dunno. He also completely shaved his head, and resembles someone who I can't place at the moment. Anyway, Chad says the game was amazing beyond anything he ever could have prepared for. It ran the gamut from suffering to joy to wide-eyed experiences to confusion. All in all, he had an incredible experience.

Day one was typical, it threw him from a loop from the beginning. He has a really good energy with the women he works with and his mother and sister, so his family thought that might be a really good strategy. But that went out the window on day one. With the group of men, it was tough, there were a lot of big egos around and it was hard to negotiate. He just sat back and let the egos clash. He wasn't about to step in and become a power player. He let the first few Tribal Councils go by without ruffling any feathers.

The highest moment of his time was the ceremony with the native children. It was something he'll never forget, being accepted by people he'd never seen and never learned about, and they took him in like he was a part of their culture.

Just when you think you've gotten through different challenges and figured out people's personalities, just as you're settling into a group, something changes. You see yourself on the chopping block, and that was a scary thing. He was sure fighting to the last. It was inevitable that your torch gets snuffed (unless you're in the final two), but he felt a certain amount of joy at the end, knowing it was out of his hands. But up until the torch got snuffed, it was agonizing. A thousand different emotions went through him when his torch got snuffed: resentment, anger, excitement, relief. Disappointment is definitely one of them, because when he looked at the seven left, he thought he could be better than most of them. Hear, hear! He feels that he has more experience and can deal with people better. At the risk of tooting his own horn, he's a better player than a lot of them. ***coughElizaJulieLeanncough***

While he was in the game, there was some downtime. A lot of the walks he took were for reflection and appreciation of the scenery. But that's part of his everyday life, but being in this beautiful setting, he was ALWAYS taking it in, no matter where he was or what they were doing. The beauty is amazing. It was harder to do as the game went on, because you were focusing on the game, but he was still able to marvel at the stars.

He learned a lot about who he is. He was left with himself a lot, since he wasn't surrounded with loved ones that he could go to. At the end, he became very good friends with Chris, but about midway, he was doing soul-searching and learning that he was strong on his own. He was able to find out, or at least confirm to himself, that he is a strong guy.

You find new aspects of yourself in a situation like this. Going through major surgery and the emotional roller coaster, he was surrounded by loved ones. Out there, you're by yourself and with strangers you don't know if you can trust. He's gone through difficult times, but not in an isolated environment. It was tough, and he learned he could pull through that, too.

You know what I love? That Chad's leg was NEVER an issue, beyond the "hey, he's got a prosthetic" type moments. It was never an excuse, it was never blamed for a loss, it never slowed him down. I think that's one of the more wonderful aspects to take out of this season.

Scarificial Lamb: Replay of the Reward Challenge, and you KNOW that I got a sick pleasure seeing Eliza get bumped around.