The Apprentice 2 Weekly Performance Review, Episode 11: Maria's Movin' Out

Not since Omarosa has a firing been so overdue. Even Ivana has had a couple of flashes of brilliance, while you've been non-stop incompetence. Let's go back, shall we?

Episode One - You threatened to throttle your Project Manager (Bradford) for daring to have his own opinion and not listening to you.

Episode Two - You went in search of the lost second ice cream cart and couldn't locate it, half a block away, in two hours.

Episode Three - You directly caused your team to lose by not getting a quote in writing from the printer, throwing your team over budget, and then blamed the printer. The Crest people specifically said that this was the reason they picked Mosaic instead of Apex. And, as mentioned, you shook your finger in Stacie's face when she was trying to have a rational discussion with you, and then made incendiary statements that you couldn't back up about Stacie in the boardroom.

Episode Four - Nothing blatant, but you complained to Elizabeth after the boardroom, blaming her for your screwup with the printer. One problem I have had with you for a while is that you refuse to take any responsibility for ANYTHING.

Episode Five - You claimed that you were the best in public speaking, yet we find that's just another aspect of the business world where you failed miserably. And then you sulked about it the rest of the episode, blinking at perhaps a world record pace.

Episode Six - Perhaps your best moment, you won the fashion challenge as Project Manager… against a group of men. Well done! And you treated Elizabeth, a problem employee, shabbily, shunting her off to the side when she proved difficult. Funny, wasn't that the same thing you whines and pouted about Pamela doing to you the week previous?

Episode Seven - Carolyn herself complained that you did nothing on the dog challenge but stand around, show off your legs, and half-heartedly try to sell. Perhaps of everyone, you made the best use of your exemption by being completely useless the next week. But then, you're useless every week, aren't you?

Episode Eight - Your most ludicrous failure - suggesting that Andy's incredibly emotional "When was the last time…" NYPD ads needed "sexing up."

Episode Nine - No real contribution that they showed.

Episode Ten - You left the phone number off the ad, and then tried to blame it on the advertising company.

Episode Eleven - You took charge of the task, shutting the others out to the point where everyone was mad at you. Plus, you were downright rude and impertinent to your project manager, Wes, which showed an incredible lack of respect and maturity. You dominated the presentation and said stupid things like "If being sexy is wrong, I don't want to be right!" Um, you're neither. You also left "butt shots" out of the brochure and claimed that the jeans didn't fit right, thus insulting the product to the president of the company. Yeah, blame the jeans for your failure. Hey, Ashlee Simpson called and said to tell you that was a lame excuse. And then you lied about making the editing decision in the boardroom!

What gets me, what absolutely kills me about you, Maria, is that your biggest screwups occurred in advertising, which is supposedly your area of expertise! If you showed a weakness in sales or even leadership, I could let it pass. But you were promoted (Peter Principled?) to Vice President of a Marketing firm in the "real world" without the mastery of such concepts as getting a quote in writing. You're also rude, condescending, egotistical, overly emotional, untrustworthy (for blaming everything on others), overdramatic, and, yes, a HUGE control freak.

You're supposedly a wonderful person in real life. In fact, a person whose opinion I respect called you a "doll." But on this show, from what we saw, you were totally incompetent.

Mike DeGeorge has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Management from Christian Brothers University in Memphis, and has almost ten years of management experience. He is also Associate Editor of RNO. Email Mike at mikmaria@charter.net.

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