An "Insider" Look at Survivor: Vanuatu, Episode 12: A Long Time Coming

Man, I've been dreading this. Yeah, I've been looking forward to Ami's departure, but it means that I have to listen to her yammer about "What Survivor means to me." The things I do for you people.

Ami's Final Words: Sure, she might have said one thing and done another, but she never looked someone straight in the face and promised them something, then did something else. That's beyond her and she'll never do it. And swearing on loved ones? Not gonna happen. Everyone tells little white lies, and she never flat-out backstabbed. I guess since Eliza never got voted out, that doesn't count. She left the game with her integrity still intact. She apparently has a different definition of "integrity" than the rest of the free world.

Scout has the most "elecant" way to say mean things in the nicest ways. She realized it when Scout made this witch face straight at them. And Saint Ami has NEVER made a face behind someone's back! Oh, heavens NO!! There's a dark side of Scout just waiting to come out, and she covers it really well. She very thickly sugar coats her nastiness. As opposed to being a flat-out bitch, like some people, huh, Ami?

She knows she's in a game about money, but no amount of money is going to buy her friends. She learned so many lessons, the biggest of which is to get up early every morning. She didn't do that on the island, but still. She wants to start the foundation for a strong, intense work ethic. Good thing you waited until after the game, you wouldn't want people to see you with a strong work ethic on national television. She'll take away the importance of friends, and how much relying on and being there for the people around you.

She's gained some really important people in her life: Leann, Julie, Eliza… she loves them and knows they'll be a big part of her life. She wouldn't be surprised if they were in her wedding. Yeah, and thanks to a majority of voters in the country being closed-minded, that won't happen for at least another four years. Anyway, she built some amazing friendships.

It's interesting to note that the "I want to hold Twila under water" bit wasn't here. There were some noticeable cuts, but why would they leave something off the "extended" footage that they showed in the episode?! Something's fishy!

Ami, the Day After: Her experience was unbelievable. Nothing like she expected, more than she could have prepared for. She feels like she was given one of the greatest gifts ever, and sure, there were other people involved but she feels she gave it to herself. It's a life changing experience. The biggest thing is forgiveness. You've got to forgive or it will weigh you down.

There was a day in the game where she was thinking dark, evil thoughts. Like threatening to drown a fellow player, perhaps? But she felt yucky. She took time for herself and went for a walk to focus on the things she was thankful for. Until then, she was letting the evil seep into her. She realized she has control of it. By the power of Greyskull, she has the power… of forgiveness! Not just to forgive, but to forgive after they stuck a knife in and twisted it and stuck it in again, over and over, and it hurts! Apparently, the power of "getting over it" is a little beyond her at this point.

The second thing is, the night she was voted off - after flipping everyone off - she went and slept in a big bed with a soft mattress and big fluffy pillows. She got up in the middle of the night and wrote down, "Motivation is showing the appreciation of being given the gift of life." Nah, it'll never sell, it won't fit on a bumper sticker and it's not vulgar enough for a t-shirt. Reader's Digest might give you a couple bucks for it, though.

If you're not motivated, there is no appreciation in your life. She realizes that if she gets up early she is motivated to do more. Rant: Motivated to do what? Motivation comes in many forms. Some people are motivated to get good grades, or do well at work, or love their partner, or even motivated to be as hateful as possible. I've yet to meet someone who isn't motivated about something. Your little motto is inane psychobabble.

She's always had a great appreciation for life, but it was heightened by knowing what she could do without. She felt great in the game, she never felt hungry, she never felt deprived. She was living off the earth, eating all-natural foods, nothing but water, and she felt great. Sleeping on a bamboo floor, yuck. She feels very lucky to have a bed.

Spirituality affected her game. She would get up in the morning and see a rainbow, and know they would win a challenge that day. Yeesh. She felt the feminine energy of this island. Over history, the men have been focused on, but she saw the feminine magic of the island. Coming into the game, her strategy was to get the women to stick together. She's never seen the women in a game of Survivor stick together to the end. (And you still haven't, thanks to you and your alliance running around like you owned the place) Then when she found out the tribes were divided by gender, she found that it was set up perfectly for the strategy. At first, she was worried about competing physically, but there are a lot of tough chicks on the island, and they won four of the first six.