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My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Boss, Episode 4: Craptacular!by Mel Ellis -- 12/08/2004
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Before we start, did anyone worry they missed last week's episode? No worries. There wasn't one. Seems that Big Fat Obnoxious Boss (BFOB) is not the hit we hoped. In fact, this week's episode was watched by only 4.1 million people and was dead last in its time slot. Too bad though. This is the most delicious show on television! Of course, I loved Complex: Malibu as well. SIGH.
We must also dispense with the obligatory recap of last week's episode, which I re-recap as follows: bikinis; yachts; Elli won't come out and play; cyanide mascots; the men's second win; Elli is fired, leaves, and tells the doorman, "You work for a jacka--." Good times.
It's Elimination Night and Whitney returns to the penthouse in full frog costume. Damian notes that Elli had told him that, if she won, she would return in the frog costume, so the group has no idea who has survived elimination. When Whitney finally pulls off the frog head, the women shriek and start jumping up and down with such joy that you'd think Elli spent her time there pulling the heads off puppies. Mike (Goatee Guy) is confused. What was N. Paul Todd (NPT) thinking? Was he blinded by a bombshell? Kerry, however, is delighted. She wanted Elli to go because of her negative attitude and she wanted Whitney to lead this week. She does seem to have certain, er, assets, which she shows us in the next shot. She's wearing either a sports bra or a bikini top and telling us about the boardroom. Very professional. GG is dumbstruck. Losing Elli makes their team weaker. True. Is GG figuring out the con? Damian sure isn't. He isn't thinking globally - he couldn't care less who came back or why, so long as the women keep losing.
Someone in the dining room yells, "Ding, dong," prompting Whitney to shriek, "Now the witch is dead!" Did Elli snap their underwear or something? Why such animosity? No time to ponder, as the scene quickly moves to the morning of Day 11. The group gets a call that a limo will pick them up at 5:00PM to take them to the next challenge. The women come out at the appointed time, dressed all in black and white. Cute! Sorority uniforms! Whitney starts telling us how excited she is to be team leader, and I feel compelled to give you the visual you may have missed. She's in her sports bra/bikini top again (get this woman some shirts, please!), her hair in pieces of saran wrap, large - I mean huge - clips sticking out all over her head. She looks like those kids with the aluminum foil hats in the movie Signs. The ensemble screams "corporate" to me. Damian is still viewing the challenges as a fight to the death. "The guys are dead serious about winning. Dead serious." The guy needs to go caffeinated. The plan is for the men to stick together until all the women have been eliminated. We'll see.
The group arrives at Wolff's Flea Market, the site of the next challenge. NPT enters, along with "Jamie" (the faux Carolyn Kepcher) and "David" (the faux and fey George Ross). NPT announces that, before explaining the challenge, there will be a shakeup, a reorganization. The men look seriously bummed. NPT announces he's "bored" with the whole men versus woman thing. Damian looks like someone just killed his puppy. Where's Elli, anyway? GG explains why they were bummed, in case we couldn't figure it out: they had two men extra and were supposed to stick together until all the women were eliminated. William August (WA), the actor playing NPT, tells us that the reshuffle will be completed by the "most half-baked and unprofessional method we could think of." Bring it on!
NPT addresses the troops. "Let's face reality. Some of you are, quote, prettier than the others. Annette and Whitney break into toothy smiles and look at each other. Kerry smiles to herself. NPT continues. "In business, people who are more attractive have a leg up." Damian looks concerned. Annette and Whitney's faces may crack if they smile any wider. NPT announces that the new team will have equal amounts of attractiveness and unattractiveness. David, the CPA/contestant, is biting his lip to keep from laughing. Perhaps he knows this is a hoax? The others sure don't. GG straightens his shirt and checks his collar. Tonia wipes sweat off her face. Whitney thrusts her voluminous chest out. NPT says "David" will help him be more objective. "David" smiles and leers at the men. Rob adjusts his belt and his pants and Damian, who was the focus of "David"'s drooling looks in the last episode, tries to look at "David" now but ends up red-facced, looking at the floor.
NPT starts moving men and women back and forth between the teams. The actor playing "David" (also called David), tells us that the moves were meaningless, as the new teams had been created in a randomly predetermined manner. The contestants seem to be getting irritated by being moved first one way and then another, some being moved only to be moved back a few steps later. NPT upsets Lil' Rob by pointing to the "two big dudes," on either side of him. NPT orders people to a team, then changes his mind. This is truly delicious! Douglas couldn't make sense of the reshuffle according to attractiveness. GG wonders how attractiveness makes him a better employee at IOCOR. "It makes no sense." Uh, that's the point, G.1 2 3 4 5 6 Next-->
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