My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Boss, Episode 5: Thanks, I Appreciate That!

Before we get started on this week's recap, I have some delicious stuff to relate to you. First off: Anyone but me suffered through the reality show, The Casino? If you remember, I related in an earlier recap about Elli being shown on an episode with an inflatable penis in a jacuzzi. Well, I just got around to watching that episode, and it's better than originally related to me. Three girls from bachelorette party get into the hotel jacuzzi with a 6-foot inflatable penis. One of them is none other than Kerry (the wanna-be Mrs. N. Paul Todd II). Elli joins them later on, bringing champagne. One of the hotel security guards gets my award for line of the evening when he radios his boss to ask, "is there a rule about inflatable penises in the jacuzzi?"

The answer must have been yes, because the next time we see the blurred appendage, it's being removed from the jacuzzi over the protests of the girls. Elli screams, "is it because you have penis envy?" Kerry asks them not to hurt it and gets mock outraged that the security guards punctured the toy when they deflated it. Dunno about you, but that behavior screams corporate executive to me.

Then we have the word on the flea market scams from last week. Many of you shared my outrage at what appeared to be the perpetuation of several frauds on the unsuspecting flea market-going public. Some of you were savvy enough to suspect that the customers must have been let in on things or at least reimbursed, as some of them were shown on camera. Those who were "blurred out," you wisely reasoned, must not have agreed to be shown. Soon after posting the recap, I got an email from the owner of Wolff's flea market. Rather than risk missing some of the great stuff he kindly shared with me (and permitted me to share with you), I'm reprinting his emails in their entirety (you don't need my responses):

The buyers of the products were given their money back and they were required to give the products back too. I know what happened because I run the Flea Market. Thanks, Don Wolff (wolffs.com)

The faces not blurred meant they signed releases. The blurred faces meant no releases were signed. If you noticed, and if I remember right - you can see they even blurred things on some of their shirts - I assume company logos which they wouldn't have gotten releases or didn't want to give them free publicity. Thanks, Don.

They filmed the opening part (when they were in the warehouse and given their instructions) on Friday night. About 50 crew members arrived and "built" this big set-up, cameras, lights, etc. The participants arrived about 4pm I think, but had to wait outside for at least 2 hours (in their limos) while Mr. N Paul Todd and his side kicks practiced their lines. The whole thing was intense, we had to unplug phones, the coke machine, etc. Any little noise - they stopped. We're fairly close to O'Hare, so every time a plane went over, they had to stop.

Before Friday, the guys in charge came thru the building to pick the spaces that the participants would sell from. They had both indoor and outdoor spaces chosen (Indoor in case of rain). But, they actually ended up using both indoor and outdoor anyway.

We knew a little about what was happening. Though they wouldn't tell us ANYTHING about the show, the network... ANYTHING. What we did know, we had to sign confidentiality statements about. Our vendors were asking us all day what was going on. All we could say was they're filming for a show here and we don't know what it is. At one point outdoors, we had a vendor come to us very irate - He said they were yelling "tampons" really loud and the customers were avoiding that booth and therefore his because he was next to it. We said we couldn't do anything about it. He was MAD! In hindsight, we should have gone up them and told them not tell scream "tampons", since that is what we would have done normally anyway - we really don't allow loud "hawking." After we thought about it - that probably would have got us on TV, as I'm sure that would have been very funny. Oh well, there goes our 15 minutes of fame.

All in all it was a very fun day. I will say the men enjoyed watching the women sell... As N Paul says... Sex sells.

We operate another Flea Market in Rosemont, Ill. It's only on Sundays. That's our big one. We get about 600 vendors and 10,000 shoppers. But they had to film on Saturday. Plus, our Melrose Park location had the indoors available if it rained.

After the selling day was done and we closed for the day. They started filming the part when the results were given out. It was all complete by about 10pm that night. We knew what team won - but couldn't say anything. We did not know which participant would be kicked out.

By the way, I like the motion where you slide your hand along your throat like you have a knife as the motion N Paul should use - I thought that was great!

My deepest thanks to Mr. Wolff for permitting the show to tape there and for sharing that information. I have to agree with him - I liked the throat gesture the best as well. Good stuff!

Now that all that's out of the way, let's get on with the recap, shall we?