Growing Up Gotti, Episode 12: A Very Gotti Christmas

Before we get started, in my effort to help my fellow woman (who happens to be eight months pregnant), does anyone know where Victoria got her cupcakes from in episode 8? One of my readers is salivating for those cupcakes, so any information would be appreciated. Thanks!

Now, on with the show... Okay, good move with the credits this week - they've put snow and Christmas decorations on the cartoon mansion, and cartoon Victoria is in a little Santa dress. Festive!

Indeed, the mansion is festive - sparkling lights and glowing candles. And check out that mantle! It's decorated with garland and has the family's matching classic red stockings hanging. And someone's tube sock. I don't know whose that is, but it looks pretty cute on the end of the mantle. When I buy a house, my only requirement is a fireplace like that. Anyway, Victoria is determined that this Christmas will be a nice affair. Apparently last year wasn't so nice because John was upset about Carmine getting some of his clothes. Or something. I don't know, I really didn't understand that. But anyway, Victoria wants this year to be happy.

Oh lovely, Luigi the handyman is taking the boys Christmas tree shopping. They are less then receptive to the idea. Luigi is yelling and knocking on their bedroom doors. Victoria tells Luigi that she wants a nice, fluffy, fat tree. YES!! She's my kind of woman. Luigi asks Victoria to make him a cup of coffee because he doesn't know how. Oh my. When Victoria actually agrees to do it, Luigi says under his breath, "I got her to make it." ARGH!

Victoria yells up to the boys to get ready to go. Carmine answers, "Yea where we gonna get a f&%*$ tree at eleven in the morning?" Um, anywhere!?!? Duh. Anyway, she gets them to go by telling them that if they don't have a tree, there will be no presents. Yes, the boys are in the true Christmas spirit.

Luigi is smoking as they walk into the Christmas tree lot and right by the "No Smoking" sign. He is checking out a BIG tree and the boys are pretty sure it won't fit, but Luigi is confident that he can cut it to fit. Uh oh. They call Victoria and she says to get it, if Luigi can fix it. But John is still doesn't think it's a good idea.

So, we cut over to Victoria, who's doing some shopping of her own. Every year around the holidays she goes toy shopping for the kids at North Shore Hospital. Her friend Robert is helping her this year. Victoria says that she knows what it's like to have a child spend some time in the hospital, so this is her small way of giving back. They don't explain that at all, so I'm left to wonder. Well, she gives a present to an adorable little girl and the girl's smile can light up a room. She's also very interested in the camera. Oh my gosh, she's so cute! Victoria is great with her and asks her to help her hand out presents to the other kids. The little girl heads off with Santa Victoria. Awww...

Back at the Christmas tree farm, the spirit of the season isn't quite as apparent. Carmine doesn't want the big tree and so, while Luigi, John, and Frankie are dragging the tree out, Carmine is checking out reindeer made of trees or something. John tells Carmine to help, but Carmine is quite taken with the reindeer. "The reindeer is phat," he says. Hee!

Now we're in Manhattan and Victoria is in Central Park, where she's ice skating at Wollman Rink (which I'd never heard of before season 1 of The Apprentice) in Central Park. As a kid her parents used to bring her skating in Central Park and she's taking advantage of the boys' absence to go skating with Robert and her skating coach, Katie. Wow, I want a skating coach! Victoria is out on the rink looking pretty uncomfortable while Katie pulls her around. Oh, now she's got the hang of it. Robert is having fun, doing a lot of "ooh"-ing. Wow, I want to go skating! And Victoria wants a hot dog. Oh, I want a hot dog!

Back at the farm, Luigi and the boys are trying to load the tree onto the truck. I wonder how cold it is, because Carmine is wearing a wife-beater. I'm cold just looking at him. John thinks the tree is at least 300 pounds. It is a pretty big tree. People are just watching now. It's pretty hysterical. Frankie is on top of the car, pulling the tree while the others push it up. Wow, this is so funny - the tree is bigger than the SUV they're driving. But Luigi thinks Victoria will be very happy with the tree. It really looks like the tree from National Lampoons' Christmas Vacation! I think the producers had the same idea because while the SUV and monster tree drive down the street, we're treated to some National Lampoon-like music.

Well, they get the tree home with no incidents on the road, which is good. Now Luigi is trimming it with a saw of some sort of saw. He gets the tree in the house and it's in the stand, just in time for Victoria to get home and say, "What the hell is this?" Hee! She says it looks like a tree that came from somebody's front yard. She asks for the tag and it cost $350!!! Victoria is aghast, saying Christmas trees cost $45. Luigi shows Victoria the branches that he cut off the tree and she yells, "There's three trees here!! This belongs in a park." Ha! Apparently, Luigi gets her tree every year and this is the first time he's brought home something like this. Luigi retorts, "You never told me to get a full one before." Touche!

Back from commercial, Victoria tells us that the one thing she hates about Christmas is all the stress. And to make it worse, the network is sending producers over to film a Christmas commercial and they want the boys to sing. Yeah, right. Victoria doesn't think there's a chance in hell, but we'll see. Well, the boys at least have their Santa hats on. But they're wrestling with their friends upstairs while the commercial's producer sings the lyrics to the song they want the boys to sing: "Spend the holiday with Gotti/ Frankie, Carmine and meet Johnny/ And if Mom should give us trouble/ We will surely give her double/ Fa la la la la la la la la." Um, sure, I can see the boys doing this...

Carmine is arguing that he doesn't have time because he has to pick up his chain. Uh oh, after that they tell the boys that they'll be singing and give them the lyrics. Carmine is not singing. He'll leave if he has to sing. Well, I guess we'll see what happens. They're in front of the camera and Victoria is singing the song, but it takes the boys a few takes to get into the spirit. A friend of the boys is really belting it out - this guy's funny! He's really jamming! Well, somehow they got through it. They boys are laughing, and Victoria is glad the boys are in the spirit.

Victoria wants to do a holiday toast with the boys and some friends. That's nice. They have the eggnog and Victoria is making sure that it's nonalcoholic. The carton says amaretto, so Victoria thinks it's spiked, but John points out the spot where it says, "nonalcoholic." Wow, this is pretty funny considering all of the beer cans we saw littered in the spot where the boys partied in the first episode. Well, John convinces her and she toasts: "Here's to another year of love, health, happiness, and togetherness. Family" They all toast and Victoria says, "And to all, a good night." Indeed. Happy holidays to everybody!

Joan is an editor in Boston. If you want to discuss reality television or her other passion – Boston sports – email her at Joanie1835@hotmail.com. Go Pats!

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