Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search, Episode 1: Pretty as a Picture

A male voiceover gives us an overview of the competition. As all this has already been covered in the preview, let's move on to the good stuff.

As soon as the models arrive at what is to be their home for the next six weeks, dozens of photographers clamor to take their photos in a non-stop camera frenzy. If they hope to make it into the coveted pages of Sports Illustrated, they had better learn to love to love that frenzied hive of activity, and what better time to start?

Shannon, a model from Mesquite, TX (you know, that place where BBQ was invented) is impressed when none other than former SI model Cheryl Tiegs, who appeared in the magazine in 1978, comes out to greet the contestants.

Cheryl tells the models what they'll be playing for, and introduces them to the three judges. First up is the founding editor of SI's swimsuit issue, Jule Campbell. Next up is SI Hall of Fame swimsuit model, Roshumba Williams. I don't know if the look of surprise on her face is from being impressed that the contestants know who she is, or if Roshumba is going for the Sally Field-esque "They really like me" look. Either way, she seems visibly impressed. Last, but not least, is the lone male judge, Joel Wilkenfeld, who is president of Next Model Management, with whom the winner will sign a $1 million modeling contract. Cheryl tells them that the competition starts "right here, right now."

We're introduced to Nikko, the runway director, who tells them that they have 15 minutes to pull out their sexiest swimsuit from their as-yet-unpacked suitcases for what will be a full runway show. There are several C-shaped cubicle-type areas where the models change into their bathing suits. They're probably more for the benefit of the TV cameras, then for the privacy of the girls, since everyone of them has the same "assets."

Alicia, a 19-year-old web designer form Las Vegas, NV, rolls her eyes and comments on how some of the girls were unshaven, but she's "not going to name no names." Gee, how noble of you, Alicia.

One of the few blondes on the show gets Nikko's attention, and whispers something to him. His jaw drops, he draws in all the air in the room (like my Mom, when she's just heard something shocking), and says "Oh My Gosh." He then starts talking into his headset, but we don't hear what the model said to Nikko or what he says into his headset. Ummm, what's the point of showing a potentially juicy scene like that if you're not going to tell us what it's about?

Shannon interviews that, due to the impromptu nature of the runway show, her adrenaline is pumping. Betti interviews that she cannot start comparing herself to any of the other girls, because she'll start having insecurities about herself.

Since they are all ready, they stand around talking. Sabrina, a 20-year-old student and businesswoman from Macon, GA, says she prefers "all-real" breasts (as opposed to half-real?) Stacy, a 19-year-old model from S. St. Paul, MN, points to hers as an example of all-real breasts. Krisi, a 23-year-old professional model from Little Rock, AR, mentions that she has implants. In an interview, she says she made the decision to get them because she liked the way Pamela Anderson's and Carmen Electra's looked.

Nikko finally comes over and tells them he's going to read the order in which they'll strut their stuff on the runway. Jenna, a 19-year-old student from Dallas, TX (no relation to the President) says that she likes the runway, but she didn't want to be first.

Up first is a 20-year-old student from Windsor, CT named Adaora. If you grew up in the '80s, you may remember Adaora was also the real name of She-Ra from the He-Man comics, although she spelled it Adora. Aaah, the trivia that clutters my brain.

It's show time, and Judge Roshumba seems to be giving her sista some encouraging applause, saying that she has a kind of sparkle. Shannon is up next. Roshumba says she sees her riding a horse. Third up is Marcela, a 21-year-old student from Glenview, IL. Maybe it's the blonde hair, but she looks a little like Paris Hilton to me, although I hope for her sake she's smarter. Joel isn't impressed, and tells Roshumba, "that girl, she doesn't have anything."

Nancy is up next. The 22-year-old college graduate from Chicago, IL is wearing a barely there bathing suit whose cut, according to both Roshumba and Joel "doesn't hide much at all." Cheryl Tiegs chimes in, telling the judges that Nancy has a great body.

Jenna, who looks a little like actress Jessica Biel, is up next. Roshumba takes one look at her and says, "Look at that body!" Jule thinks she's sexy. Cheryl thinks she's trying really hard, but she still likes her.

Next is Shantel, a 19-year-old student and model from Fort Worth, TX, who is trying to follow in her mom's footsteps. Cheryl declares her "very wholesome and very sexy." It's funny Cheryl mentions the wholesomeness, as she looks a little like Kristin Davis who was the "wholesome" one on Sex and the City.