Growing Up Gotti, Season 2 Episode 3: Big Plans, Little (Under) Pants

Hello everyone! First, thank you to reader Lori, who pointed out that last week I made it sound like the Hamptons and Long Island are far away from each other, when in actuality the Hamptons are on Long Island. Oops! Second, congratulations to the Patriots on their decisive victory over the Colts on Sunday! Next up - the Pittsburgh Steelers. Also, if you missed this week's episode - they told us where Victoria gets her cupcakes that had everyone's mouth watering last season. I've had quite a few people ask me where they were from. They're from the Cupcake Café. Here is their website, for those of you interested.

Now, on with the show. We find out that Victoria has to get a new assistant because Jen "couldn't take the heat." But that's basically all we find out about that. They flash to a scene of Victoria telling Jen that she's confused, first she wants the job and now she doesn't, but that's all we get. Anyway, Victoria's new assistant is Jay, who was an intern at Star.

Jay meets with Victoria and she tells him right off the bat that she's anal about organization. She also mentions that she's got three boys and that the parenting and house come first. Jay asks how he should handle the boys and Victoria tells him not to act like he's their friend. Could this be foreshadowing? Jay looks pretty young - in his '20s anyway - and it might be tough for him.

Anyway, his first order of business is ordering Victoria's lunch - peanut butter and jelly, not too much of either, on white bread and two red candy apples. Jay calls in the order. Huh, I wonder what kind of place he ordered from. I'm sure you can get PB&J from anywhere, but it seems like you could just go into the kitchen. Well, I didn't hear him order the candy apples. Nope, he didn't. He picks up the phone and calls back, explaining to Victoria that he forgot about them. That's not a good sign - I mean, she told him about 10 seconds ago what she wanted and it looked like he wrote it down. Oh boy. Not surprisingly, Victoria looks skeptical.

Jay is now meeting with Carmine, John, and Frankie to plan their mother's surprise birthday party. Jay is trying to motivate the boys. He thinks Matt Rich, Victoria's publicist and the guy who almost had a coronary when he was trying to get the boys to do a fashion show, should be involved. The boys are resistant to the idea, saying that if he organizes it, the party will be boring, all tea and crumpets. The boys want to get a big cake and have Luigi, handyman extraordinaire, jump out of it, dressed in a Chippendale's bowtie and his underwear. Oh my. John is certain that Victoria will love it.

Meanwhile, Victoria's friend Robert is going to be staying in her guest house for a while. He's waiting in the foyer, directing Luigi to carry his things to the guest house. Why can't Robert carry anything? Why, because he's carrying his dog. He's also wearing shiny sunglasses and is pretty b****y with Luigi, who was only told he was going to help move furniture, not act as bellhop. He tells Robert that he wants another $100 to carry the bags. Luigi also says that he doesn't think Robert's dog is pretty. Uh oh. Bad move - I'd say any man who carries his dog like that will take it pretty personally when someone insults the dog. So, Robert takes out his cell phone and calls Victoria, who comes downstairs to see what the problem is. She says, "Oh, I get it, it's a p***ing contest." Luigi calms down and Victoria tells Luigi to move the two green couches, one from Carmine's room and one from the basement, into the guesthouse for Robert. She says Robert had better have furniture by the time she gets back. Well, Victoria and Robert head off for a day of beauty and Jay goes into the basement with Luigi, sees the mess of furniture down there, and says, "Aw, hell now, I'm not moving this stuff. I wasn't hired to move this stuff." Oh, Jay, how little you understand about your job. So, poor Luigi has to move the couches by himself.

At Star, Victoria hasn't told anyone it's her birthday. But in a staff meeting, Editor Joe starts talking about celebrity birthdays and asks Victoria about hers. What a coincidence! Why, it's today! She tells him that she's a little depressed and Joe says she shouldn't be because 38 isn't old. Victoria quickly tells him that it's 34. Heh.

Now it's time to get some beauty treatments with Robert. He's getting glitter nail polish on his feet. Victoria is surprised because he's usually "very macho." Um, that's not the impression I was getting. Anyway, he says he used to get French manicures years ago, before they were in. That's… nice. Victoria starts to pump him for information about her surprise party. She says she knows all about it. She heard the boys are throwing it and she doesn't want them to know she knows. Well, then she shouldn't talk about it in front of the cameras! She wants to know if she's getting any presents. She didn't get any last year. Robert tells her that the boys have a couple of surprises but he won't tell. Victoria is sure the boys are putting lots of thought into her party. That's the cue for the scenes of the boys not putting lots of thought into her party. In fact, they're trying to get their friend Omar to take some ipecac. He takes a big ol' spoonful and John tells him, "Oh my god, yo. You're so stupid." I'm inclined to agree. Oh lovely, we get to see it all come back up into John's bathroom sink. Unnecessary!