Strange Love, Episode 3: Party on, Dudes

After a review of the events to date and the strange but rather on point opening theme music and accompanying cartoon, we return to the villa where it is morning once again. Mama is cooking breakfast and it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. But this beauty and serenity is quickly destroyed as the camera moves in on Brigitte's thonged and tattooed behind as she languishes face down on the bed. This is such a horrific sight that even kindly Mama gasps and says, "Mama Mia."

It's the day of the gala and Brigitte expresses her continuing concern about introducing "Foofy Foofy" to her high-class friends. Meanwhile, the man himself is up and ready to boogie. Flav welcomes the day from the balcony and is excited about the evening ahead.

Brigitte calls her manager and friend, Luigi, who is to accompany them to Lake Cuomo. He and his wife arrive in a white limousine and the two couples set out on their journey. In the limousine, they toast to friendship and "mad love." The conversation turns to Brigitte's fiancé, Mattia, and Flav calls Gitte a Ferrari and says the he could fall in love with her but is afraid he will end up another "home alone." A quick clip of Mattia home, alone in Brigitte's apartment, is thrown in for effect.

They arrive at the hotel in Lake Cuomo, and Brigitte and Flav hitch a ride on a luggage cart into the hotel. For someone who is so concerned about what people will think, she certainly doesn't act accordingly. They hoot and holler as the bellhop pushes them through the rather ornate lobby towards the elevators.

They eat lunch, and of course Flav has more of his problems with the local cuisine. But his problems are about to get worse in that Brigitte has arranged for him to have a dance lesson with a rather effete dancer named Martin (pronounced Mar-teen). Brigitte wants Flav to learn how to waltz, and while he says he knows the beat, he's never "done it on feet."

No matter. Martin valiantly attempts to teach a giggly and increasingly more inebriated Flavor Flav how to waltz. Flav says he feels like he's in a "ballerina class," as Martin tells him that he needs to learn how to lead. "Feel what the lady needs," says Martin. Flav is feeling a bit too much of Martin, it would seem. But he learns the basics of the dance and says he's "just a guy from the hood, trying to make it all good."

We have a chance to reminisce a bit as clips of Flav and Brigitte from Surreal Life are run with the waltz music in the background. The dance lesson ends with Flav dipping Brigitte almost to the ground.

It's time to get ready. Brigitte is increasingly more nervous about the reaction of her friends to "Foofy Foofy," and after she gets dressed and made-up, she goes down to the lobby to wait for her man. She further fortifies herself with a glass of wine, but when Flav makes his entrance, she is up, on her feet and in his arms. Flav looks outstanding. His suit is white pinstriped with a long jacket. As a finishing touch, he's wearing a white fedora and carrying a fancy cane. Thankfully, he's left his gold teeth behind. Brigitte actually looks nice too in a black gown.

They arrive at the mayor's elaborate villa and prepare to make their entrance. Brigitte, in heels, towers over Flav by at least a foot. They mayor introduces his guest of honor, Miss Brigitte Nielsen and Mr. Flavor Flav (which he pronounces carefully, enunciating the letters perfectly). The reaction of the crowd is utter shock. Beyond shock, actually. These people look positively horrified. I am somewhat surprised, as I thought Europeans were more open-minded about interracial relationships. Or maybe it is just the sight of Flav in all his regalia. I don't know. If these people are her friends, I would hate to meet her enemies.