The Apprentice 3 Weekly Performance Review, Episode 2: Staying Over and Walking Out

Net Worth Corporation:

I liked the rooms, and your attempts at customer service the next morning were commendable. The priorities - toilets over carpet, for example - were quite a bit out of whack. But you lost the task on customer service, mainly from your Project Manager and Kristen screaming at each other in front of the customers. You don't need a college degree to know that was pretty stupid.

Craig and Tara: Again, not enough time for you this week, I guess. Better luck next week.

Audrey: I like your initiative in finding the dumpster, and $700 was a tremendous price. Your reactions to the fights make me like you even more. And being kind of cute doesn't hurt either. Hey, if Betsy can drool over John, I can harbor a crush on Audrey. Although I have to say, my ass knows the difference between a cheap toilet and an expensive one. Those cheap ones are HARD.

Chris: I hope it was just bad editing, because your refurbishing rant in the boardroom made absolutely no sense. Even if someone said you claimed to have knowledge in refurbishing, jumping in someone's face like that is hardly the way to impress anyone.

Angie: My enemy's enemy is my friend - you smacked Kristen down, so I'm on your side.

Kristen: I had a whole rant planned for you, but it essentially breaks down to this:

SHUT UP.

Tana: I was very impressed by your customer service skills this week. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean you should run a company, it means you're good at working behind a counter. However, it DOES mean that you could be great in the boardroom, sweet-talking clients and vendors. In other words, I'm still uncertain about you. Considering how I feel about some of these people, that's a very good thing.

John: I really like you a lot, although I don't think you're as cute as Betsy says. Sorry, you're just not my type. But with only two episodes down, you seem to be the most level-headed, intelligent one (maybe the ONLY one) in the bunch. I immediately knew Brian was in trouble when you started yelling at him. It's pretty obvious what the difference was between this week and last week - last week, the team had good leadership.

Everyone who talks about this show has you pegged as the winner, but my gut tells me you are the last "street smart" contender who will be fired for not having enough education.

Brian: Boy, did YOU suck as a leader. Maybe you didn't realize, but the root of "leader" is "lead." In other words, you might want to try leading people next time. When your entire team is reduced to screaming at each other, you're not leading. Or let me put it this way - your prospective employer doesn't want to hear that "you are the team" because no one else would work with you.

Nor do they argue in front of the customers! A few years back, a friend and I were having dinner at a sports bar we frequented. Our regular waitress was taking a break and eating, so we invited her to sit with us. The manager came over and dragged her off, and yelled at her within earshot of us that it was unprofessional for her to eat with the customers. I said, in a loud voice, "It's better than yelling at your waitresses in front of them." He turned red and stomped away. He was not a good manager either. Kristen may be a horrid bitch, but you were in charge. If I had to fill out a comment card that day at the bar, I would have blasted the manager. So guess why you lost?

I'm a big believer in the concept of "you have to spend money to make money," but there is a limit. You can't do stupid things like replacing toilets when they don't need it. Trump sure didn't get to be a billionaire by throwing money - ahem - down the toilet. Maybe you made your money that way, and bully for you, but it wasn't going to win this game.

Finally, I have to mention that TELLING Trump to fire you is possibly the single stupidest thing anyone's ever done in the boardroom. Even worse than Bradford giving up immunity, although you would have been fired anyway. Begging for it doesn't help.

Mike DeGeorge has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Management from Christian Brothers University in Memphis, and has almost ten years of management experience. He is also Associate Editor of RNO. Email Mike at mikmaria@charter.net.

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