Growing Up Gotti, Season 2 Episode 6: I've Got a Secret Admirer

First, of course, Congratulations to the New England Patriots! They are just great to watch - but maybe one year we can have a blowout Super Bowl. The close games make me so nervous, I can't really enjoy them. Anyway, on with the show!

Victoria opens by telling us that she loves her friends and family, but there are times when a woman needs a different kind of company - the adult male kind. I hear that! She's talking to Robert in the kitchen while she frosts cupcakes… they're still talking but I can't stop staring at the cupcakes, which look incredible. Mmmmm. Oh, and Robert says that they should start going out more. They need to meet some nice-looking men.

Meanwhile, raccoons have invaded the property and are leaving trash all over the place. It's Luigi to the rescue! His first idea is some sort of raccoon trap, but Victoria puts the kibosh on that one, saying they're illegal (I guess he wasn't talking about the humane kind). So, his next idea is to get men with guns. Of course! But, dammit, that's against the law, too. Luigi says he'll look into it. Outside, Luigi is inspecting the dumpster. Wow, the family must have a lot of trash - it's really a full-size dumpster. And Luigi is putting peanut butter on it. His plan is to get the raccoons while they are eating the peanut butter. But don't worry for his safety, folks - he's armed with a pool net and is wearing a hockey glove and goalie mask. Oh boy. He's trying to smoke through the mask while he sits outside and waits for the raccoons. But then he gives up, saying it's too cold. We're not sure how long he's out there, but it looked like there were four or five cigarettes in the ash tray (at least he's not leaving his butts on the ground like he used to!).

Victoria has to get away from the craziness so she's at work at the Star Magazine offices. She's in a staff meeting when she gets a HUGE bouquet of flowers delivered. The letter that comes with them says that they are from a 100% Italian with salt-and-pepper hair. He says that although they've never met, he feels as if they've known each other forever. Oh, and of course, he's the most romantic guy in the world. And he couldn't come up with something more original than flowers?

Victoria is pretty skeptical and not the blind date type, but Robert is impressed with the flowers and wants to find out who they are from. Victoria, though, doesn't want to know who sent them. She smells a rat - she thinks people don't really have secret admirers in real life. She doesn't need any secret admirers, she only wants to go out with men she knows.

Well, now she's eating some scrumptious chocolate cake and voiceovers that she hasn't heard from the secret admirer in awhile. But, what's this? Why, it's a gift and card from the man in question. He wants to meet her, and he gives her his telephone number. The gift is a bunch of chocolates. Again, pretty low on the originality scale. She tells Robert to call him and put a stop to it. So, Robert calls and identifies himself to the secret admirer who says, "Finally, I got a response from her." Robert asks him his name and he says, "Just call me Romeo." Oy. Robert tells "Romeo" that he'll meet him for lunch. He wants to know this guy's story - but he doesn't want to call him Romeo. So the guy says to call him Johnny. Robert asks Johnny how he'll know him and Johnny tells him, "I'll be the only tan guy in the restaurant. I've been laying out." Oh brother.

Back to Luigi and the raccoon problem. As it turns out, Luigi doesn't know what raccoons look like. He's in the backseat of a car, smoking a cigarette, and the guy driving (his driver ?) tells him that raccoons look like little bears on four legs. So Luigi goes to 1-800-RACCOON for help. The guy shows him the humane traps that they have and tells our brave Luigi that raccoons have claws and teeth. Luigi decides that he'll need help from 1-800-RACCOON because he doesn't want to go near them.

Robert is meeting Romeo/Johnny at the restaurant and he introduces himself as Gianni, not Johnny. But I'm not the only one who heard Johnny - Robert thought that's what he said, too, so I don't feel bad. Maybe the guy decided that Gianni sounds more Italian. Anyway, Gianni looks… orange. I don't think the tan is natural. That line about laying out was complete, um, bunk. His teeth are also very sparkly, possibly dentures. Anyway, Robert has many questions prepared. He finds out that Gianni has been married and has "a lot" of children. Seriously, he doesn't seem to know how many. Oh, and he's had three wives. He's also 61 and a Sagittarius. Gianni asks Robert how old Victoria is, but Robert ain't talking. The camera just pulled back and Gianni is wearing a suit but no socks. I don't like that. Robert asks if he works out and Gianni tells him that he does Tai Chi. In fact, he only works out seven minutes a day but his body is like iron. Wow, this guys is… surreal.

Anyway, he also says that he has a very active sex life. I don't want that image in my head, thank you very much. Oh, and by the way, he played Carlo in The Godfather (Carlo was Connie Corleone's abusive husband that Sonny kicks the crap out of). The producers helpfully show us pictures of him in the movie. He tells Robert not to tell Victoria about his role, but he obviously doesn't mean it. I think he also tells Robert that Andrea Bocelli was his best man at his last wedding, but maybe there's another Bocelli that he's talking about. Or he's just shamelessly name-dropping, which is not attractive. Oh, and Gianni has a CD coming out soon. He'll send Robert a copy. Robert tells him that Gianni is much more interesting than he thought he'd be (they must have deleted those scenes) but he has to know - are those Gianni's real teeth? He just smiles and a cartoony sparkle shines off his ultra-white teeth. Heh.