The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliott, Episode 8: Sombreros, Dashikis, and Esther

Last week on The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliott: A road challenge put Deltrice and Jessica's friendship to the test. We met Hi-Hat (still makes me laugh), and she taught the final six dance steps, which they showed for the judges. Eddie was chosen for elimination over Akil because he wasn't the triple threat.

We start out where we left off last in Las Vegas at Eddie's dismissal where Matt congratulates Akil. Akil tells us that Missy just isn't looking for a mainstream rapper.

The five performers fly to Los Angeles, their final destination on the tour. Missy tells us that this is where the winner will be decided. They all go to a huge mansion, which is where they will stay for the rest of the tour. Beats "the thing," huh Nilyne? After looking at the house, Jessica tells us that the $100,000 isn't as important to her as the record deal. Way to shock us, Jess.

Matt tells us that he sees Deltrice and Jessica's bond, and that they see one other as each other's competition, not Nilyne. Foreshadowing perhaps? Nilyne tells us that she and Jessica have tension. Then we're treated to some bizarre moment where Deltrice and Nilyne are in the pool, and Jessica is outside yelling and splashing water on them with a water bottle. Nilyne and Deltrice are getting upset. Next thing Jessica is in the pool in her clothes (reminds me a bit of Brigitte Nielsen. And if she's Brigitte, then who's Foofy Foofy?) They are all laughing about it, and I'm not sure what's going on.

Nilyne goes into a room with a tray that has a note and money. Each performer will get $500 to go on a shopping spree on Melrose to create a look that represents them. $500 on Melrose? What can they buy? A hat? Paris Hilton could go through $500 in five minutes. And that's hot. They all go out and buy outfits; Jessica's being extremely close at $498.

Mona comes in with Vibe magazine's Emil Wilbekin (he's also done commentary on VH1) and a guy named Terrell. Emil and Terrell are fashion stylists that will "flip the script" on their style and see who gives in.

Akil is up first. Emil and Terrell give him some leather-cowpoke thing with a sombrero. He comes out of the dressing room looking like one of the Three Cabarellos. After that, Emil and Terrell want him to wear some bling cross. Akil has always reminded us that he was the black Jew so this didn't go over well with him. He decided to change back into what he was wearing before.

Jessica is next. They like her style as a strong black woman, and give her a dashiki to wear. Jessica comes out looking a bit uncomfortable. She says she thinks of herself as a strong black woman, but this is going a bit too far.

Matt is up next. He tells them that he doesn't want anything baggy. So they give him something baggy. Actually it's just a pink shirt that is for someone who weighs 200 pounds more than Matt. He says the shirt is like a dress.

Nilyne is the next one. Emil says that she "likes the hoochie look." She is a little shocked by his comment, and even more so by what they give her. It's a cross between a tutu and a fairy princess.

Deltrice is the last one. She says she wants to be sexy. Emil gives her sexy. She comes out as… a Playboy bunny. She has the tail, the bowtie, and the ears - the whole nine yards. They all go and meet in one room with their costumes and see their trap. They see that Akil is the only one who stood up for himself, which Mona says was the point.

They all go to an arena to meet "a friend of Missy's who always stayed true to themselves." They all go inside, and out comes Madonna (AKA the material girl AKA Esther). Nilyne and Jessica spaz, and Madonna introduces herself to everyone.

They ask her questions. Nilyne asks her what her recipe for success is. Madonna says to remember why you're doing it in the first place. She believes that you have to be in it because you have something to say, and says that you're the manager of your talent, not the owner. Madonna also tells them that she has no free time between her career, marriage, and children. With that, we must say goodbye to Esther.

They all get to go to see Missy in concert! She sings "Get Ur Freak On" and "Lick Shots." Nilyne says that after meeting Madonna and seeing Missy in concert, they've all been spoiled. They all go up an elevator where Teena is singing (just for your information, Teena Marie was nominated for a Grammy for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance last Sunday but she ended up losing to Alicia Keys. She did win something though, a spot on a lot of people's worst dressed list). Anyway, everyone will have sixteen bars, and must collaborate and come up with words for the chorus. They have one hour.

Mona and Dallas come in to watch them perform. When all five sing in the chorus, Nilyne and Matt's voice stick out the most. Akil has the first solo, and it's a bit flat. Matt is next, and he is really off-key and nasal. Jessica sings flawlessly, as always. Nilyne is good as well, with a very hip-hop vibe to her. Deltrice also sings great in her own jazzy style. The judges all agree that the performance was amazing.

The judges deliberate. Mona says that Deltrice needs better performance skills, and that she starts to drift off. They all agree that Jessica is great. Teena says that she's loved Nilyne from the start except today. Mona said that Matt was a bit uncomfortable, and Teena says Akil was nervous. Mona thought that Akil should've rhymed off beatbox. Dallas still likes him though. The Spotlights of Elimination start again. My picks are Matt and Akil. And it is… Akil and Matt. Woo! I was right!

Missy comes in with her dancers, and is extremely hoarse. Missy asks Matt to give her a reason why she should send Akil home. Matt says he'd rather give a reason why he should stay. Missy says point blank no. I love Missy. He eventually says that he has the onstage energy, and that he's the most punctual, which makes Missy laugh. She asks the same of Akil. Akil says that he had thought about Matt singing R&B and his religious beliefs, but now he has rethought it. He says that he thinks Matt is incredible. Missy and her dancers huddle. Missy tells us that she saw a growth in Matt and Akil is always consistent but Akil is off the tour.

Missy tells us that Akil lacks a breakout quality. Matt interviews that he is going to win and that Deltrice, Nilyne and Jessica better watch out!

Missy tells us in her interview that Akil always gave the expected, not the unexpected and that Matthew has the confidence.

Next week: Nilyne and Jessica are forced to work together and they end up fighting. Dallas helps the performers for a surprise performance.

Chris Jakobi can't think of anything witty to say here, so insert your own clever statement. Thank you. You can email Chris at cjakobi9@yahoo.com.

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