Caesars 24/7, Episode 7: Ferarris and Rollaways

In a unique and mysterious scheduling move, this is the second of two back-to-back half-hour episodes of Caesars 24/7 airing tonight in lieu of the usual hour-long show. So read on to get the lowdown of the second episode. You can read about the first episode here.

The show opens as usual with a few teasers of the show ahead. We'll be meeting the Rams Squad, and "Harry Ferrari." As we know, in Vegas, anything goes… so let's go!

Tony has broken up with his long-time girlfriend, and it's time to get him back in circulation. He's going to do so with the aid and guidance of his friends, the Rams Squad. Now, these guys are not the same Rams Squad that we met earlier this year, so bear with me. Hey, if it was those guys again, the recap would end about here because I'd be changing channels too!

Their advice may actually be better termed "a roast." At any rate, the idea is still to try and pick up girls, but these guys are mature enough to admit that if it doesn't happen, it's really all about the good times.

The second story begins with car dealer Harry Dedarian, or "Harry Ferrari," as he's being called tonight. According to the Caesars 24/7 website, he's the real-life person that Vin Diesel's character was based on in the movie The Fast And The Furious. Anyway, Harry is supposed to deliver a Ferrari to José, a high roller staying at Caesars Palace, for $125,000. As list price is $175,000, I bet this is one of those models without the upgraded ashtrays. Man, you can't GIVE them away… but I digress. Another high roller, Brandon, sees the car first. That's no coincidence, here's Harry's standard game plan:

• Step 1: Have a Ferrari
• Step 2: Set up clientele
• Step 3: Create competition
• Step 4: Take a test drive
• Step 5: Upsell/negotiate
• Step 6: Keep everybody happy

Well, José isn't happy, he thought the deal was done and now the price has gone up $20,000 and he might not even get to close the deal. Naturally, Harry has a plan - they guys should play roulette to see who gets to buy the car. As they go to commercial, I get the distinct impression José is singularly unimpressed with Harry.

The next segment is called "Front Desk Follies" and features new (to us) clerk Adam Goldberg. You meet everyone at the Front Desk, including people with problems. A VIP wants a different mattress. And of course, they send up engineer Joe Abies (I kid you not) with a new mattress. Joe has unfortunately got the wrong size, and he's staring at it like he expects it to grow. It's past quitting time, and an agitated Joe knows he has to stay and fix this.

Back at the front desk, another guy had ordered roll-away beds for his room several hours ago, and they've been waiting "all day" for them to arrive. He wants to go to sleep, and further, he wants to be comped a free room, some Celine or beer tickets or at least a dinner for his inconvenience. I gotta say, the "comps" seem reasonable to me - you don't go to a place like Caesars to revisit the Front Desk repeatedly… and waiting "over three hours" is indeed, unreasonable.

Tin-pot God/Clerk Adam smugly thinks that's nonsense - there's regular beds in the room, why can't he just nap there? Adam, there's about 26 reasons why he wants those roll-aways pronto and it's valid he's disturbed about their non-delivery. Here's a couple for your amusement and future reference (you might wish to file them away in a safe place):

1. The people who were going to sleep on the roll-aways might now be in the bed;
2. Who wants to be awaken from a dead sleep if/when they finally do arrive?
3. Reasons are immaterial, you represent those at fault, just FIX IT NOW.

It's an interesting juxtaposition of these stories - VIPs get an engineer to bring mattresses and a whole gaggle of staff to resolve the subsequent problems, while even after hours, normal folk don't even get a free beer, much less any actual action. So, a tip here, if you ever check in at Caesars and Adam's the clerk, maybe you should consider letting the guy behind you go ahead of you.

Anyway, it's time to wrap these two stories. A correct mattress was located for engineer Joe and his many friends to install in the VIP suite and the crisis was averted. And after asking repeatedly and going over Adam's head, the roll-away guy is finally given a $50 voucher. It should be said, Adam arranged for the eventual delivery of the roll-aways and the guy respected that Adam did his job. Too bad it was necessary for it to escalate beyond normal parameters.

Enough of that, let's revisit the Ram Squad in the barber shop. Tony is getting a shave and a haircut and I ask myself, why am I watching this? I mean, the barber is mildly humorous, but let's get this going!

The Squad goes to dinner and somehow, they meet up with a couple of females from a Philly-based college. Their chances of success seem limited. When they announce their room number with such uncertainly, I'm not even sure THEY will end up there. It seems corny impersonations are called for, and "Rocky" comes out. I wonder if Philly girls have ever heard that one before? Predictably, those girls leave.

The Rams then send a bottle of good champagne to a gang of about six ladies at a corner table. Yes, six-on-six pickups always work… on TV. They seem to have fun together, including the blowing of smoke rings, and sure enough, Tony ends up with two girlfriends for the night.

You see the difference in Ram Squads? The young guys from a few weeks back reeked of desperation and they never had a chance. Tony and his friends were gentlemen. This advice is golden; I should charge for it.

Time to wrap the last story - the Ferrari. Neither guy loves the roulette solution, but they decide to play for half an hour to decide who gets to buy the car. Things start slow and sassy Brandon pulls ahead initially. José has lost all respect for Harry Ferrari and there may be violence if he loses. Harry is oblivious and continues to run his mouth.

In one key hand, both players bet heavily and Brandon loses all while José hits his number and is up $4,220. So, after being jerked around, José gets his car.

And the episode concludes with José speeding off into the night, probably trying to get as far away from Harry Ferrari as possible.

In Conclusion:

Tonight's episode of Caesars 24/7 was called, "Raising The Stakes." I liked this episode much more than the earlier one. The Rams Squad was but the other two tales were pretty decent.

So how many of the Seven Deadly Sins were invoked in this episode? We saw lust, envy, anger, pride and greed. Only sloth and gluttony were missing, not bad. I'll give this episode a "B."

Next week:

According to my guide, it's another rerun episode. So when they return with new episodes, I'll be here to recap them for you.

Brian is an unemployed/retired programmer from Toronto who really needs to take his wife on a free junket to Caesars Palace. He can be reached at uncle_bto@rogers.com.

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