The Apprentice 3, MVPs and LVPs: Episodes 4-8 Corner Office & Mailroom Assignments

Week 8: Tana is the hizzle fo-shizzle

I have to offer a HUGE apology to Tana. I called her annoying (and she sometimes is), but the girl is from Iowa, my home state. Also, she was AMAZING this week. I'll get to team performances in a minute, but Tana proved she could throw herself into anything and she tried harder than anyone. I also have to give myself props for guessing the "Mary Kay" part. She just screamed Mary Kay at me and, sure enough, she is one of MK's top salespeople. Explains a lot.

This week the teams offered celebrity-theme prizes for auction through Fuse. The groups/artists were randomly assigned, but I think Smarts got the raw end of the deal. At least, this truly white girl had never heard of Fat Joe, Simple Plan, or New Found Glory. I'm revealing my age there, I know, but I had no idea who these people were. The other team got Moby and Bare Naked "Laddies" - at least I knew who they were. I don't like Moby's stuff, but the name recognition of their artists was higher, in my terribly unhip opinion. How did they do?

Net Worth: I'll have to call "Streets" Net Worth since The Donald insisted on shuffling the teams. He should have taken a lesson from My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss (whose remaining episodes you can see here) and kept the teams separate. Mixing Streets and Smarts negates the whole "experiment." The group is saddled with one major handicap throughout the task: John (once again, sorry, Betsy). What a total pud! He was chauvinistic, condescending, egotistical, and an awful negotiator. Telling the women to basically say nothing and look pretty got my dander up, but his insistence on making each meeting about him was pitiful. That and the fact that he created a reverse-Tammy (from the first Apprentice) problem by bidding projects that were way too simple made him the team's greatest liability. Chris was great on air and perhaps he should have reined John in on the task (and his temper in when in the boardroom), but his efforts were solid. Not corner office solid, but good. Erin was good as well, although I didn't see the "amazing"-ness of her on-camera work that The Donald saw. She was like any other pretty airhead-y on camera personality. I could have taken or left her. I loved Chris on air, though.

Stephanie continues to be negative but, in this case, I think her complaints about John were well-founded. I didn't see what Angie did on the production end of things, but Chris insisted she was great. I'll take his word for it, but Chris can have the corner office. He was the best of the lot and put in a lot of effort. I like to reward effort. Chris should lie down on the sofa and try and get his temper under control. Yelling at George can get you booted quite quickly if you don't watch out.

As for the mailroom, there's no question but that John deserves the demotion. Heck, he deserves to go below the mailroom to the boiler room for his antics. However, in the mailroom, he'd have to serve women executives, which might be enlightening, and know one will be interested in hearing about or from him. That might be humbling enough. Get thee to the mailroom.

Magna: At first I thought Magna was hampered with Craig and Tana, since Craig hasn't shown us anything of note and, with one exception, Tana hasn't been a great player, although she gets the Miss Congeniality award for sure. The switch seems to have freed them somehow, however. They were solid players, Tana coming out with a hip-hop personality that was neither condescending nor offensive. She was downright endearing and I became a Tana fan this week. Kendra was a wonderful leader as well, choosing the right people for the tasks, complimenting hard work, and letting the group work with as much freedom as she could permit and earning their respect (as seen in their calling her to check in on their ideas before charging ahead). Solid work. I was tempted to give the corner office to Kendra for the great overall job the team did, but this week was all about Tana. She deserves it. She's off the hizzle fo-shizzle. (And I personally loved how she thought "MILF" stood for Mother I'd like to Fool Around With. Very cute.)

I can't see anyone who did a job bad enough to warrant mailroom duty. Honestly, I can't. I still don't really see what Alex brings to the table, but mailroom work is for truly awful behavior. Nope, Magna finally earned my respect this week. Well done, by all.

What's the most current tally?

Net Worth:
Corner Office: John (3), Angie (1), Erin (1)
Mailroom: Kristen (3), Chris (1), Audrey (2), John (3), Tara (1), Stephanie (1)

Magna:
Corner Office: Kendra (3), Darren (event planner, Week 3) (1), Alex (1), Tana (2), Craig (1)
Mailroom: Bren (1), Danny (2), Michael (4), "the Actress" (1)

Whew! It took a while, but we're finally caught up! Thanks for sticking with me and feel free to email me with your thoughts on the assignments. See you next week!

Mel Ellis is a prosecutor and loves a good debate. Feel free to email her with your thoughts on who should be or should have been mail clerks or apprentice CEO's. You can reach Mel at melzreality@yahoo.com.

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