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My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Boss, Episode 6: Next Stop, the Guggenheim!by Mel Ellis -- 03/15/2005
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It's about time! Fox has finally started putting the remaining episodes of My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss on its website, one each week.
If you recall, when we last left the con, Lil' Rob had gotten fired. The teams of Femron and Concad are down to four and three, respectively, and David, the CPA, was told that he didn't have immunity as the team boss. What will happen this week?
The group left in the penthouse wonders who will be coming back. Damien notes that David is an honest guy with a lot of integrity - which is why I was sure he was getting the boot last time. However, Damien notes that "Bob" (Lil' Rob) shoots from the hip, so he thinks it's 50/50 who's coming back. As we know from the last episode, David wasn't fired. He returns to the penthouse to cheers and hugs, except for Mike (Goatee Guy, or GG), who watches and picks his teeth with chopsticks. Classy. David notes that Mr. Todd (N. Paul Todd, or NPT, as I like to call him) told him he was too nice. He actually seems upset. "That's a criticism no guy ever wants to hear." Lighten up, Davey. You're not dating the guy. "Deep down, a man wants to know he's fierce." Maybe he's related to warrior Jason from the latest Bachelorette. His challenge is proving to NPT he's more than just a nice guy.
GG is surprised David came home. He was sure Rob would pull through. Annette believes David is a little naive and can be taken advantage of. GG seems to second that emotion, noting that David lacks the leadership to lead his team to victory. David tells the group about the boardroom, including being told that the team boss no longer has immunity. Damien seems worried. "It changes the dynamic of the game, especially with such a small group, because the leader has some accountability." GG notes the obvious, that being the team boss is no longer a good thing. Annette believes that whoever is the next team leader will be going home.
Day 17. The group meets at a funky sculpture somewhere in downtown Chicago. Because I go the extra mile for you, I researched it. It's Jean DuBuffet's monument at (or to) the Chicago Loop. Mrs. N. Paul Todd (Lynn), is standing in for "Jamie," one of NPT's fake executives. He warns the group that he trusts her opinion more than anyone's and warns the contestants not to let her down. Annette is upset at Lynn's participation. "I don't think Lynn has the business background Jamie does. If she's critiquing business people, she should have a knowledge of business." Sure. If this were a true business challenge.
NPT congratulates David and reminds he's the captain of Concad for this challenge. Annette was the last team leader of Femron and passes the mantle to Douglas. NPT asks if Douglas was surprised to be named. Douglas admits it wasn't expected, but he "knew Annette would make a great decision based on past performances." Humble much? NPT explains that, as Concad has only three players remaining, the team boss is no longer immune. However, Femron, which has four people, will still go by the old rules, in which the team boss has immunity. Douglas smiles; Annette's face falls. Annette admits her stomach sank when she realized she gave Douglas immunity. She thought both teams were under the new no-immunity rule. She should've spoken to Shi Ann from Survivor about the dangers of making assumptions.
GG laughs. "Annette made the worst possible choice. Doug and I are sticking together, no matter what." Whitney, on behalf of herself and Annette, admits, "we're in trouble." Douglas gets the final word: "That may have been the dumbest move of the game by the women players." Way to be a good sport.
NPT explains the challenge as he points to the sculpture. "Anyone know what this is?" Deafening silence. GG finally offers up, "artwork." NPT lets the smart alecky comment go. "To some people, this is a highly esteemed abstract sculpture. To others, it's a public eyesore. Personally, to me, it's not my cup of tea, but it really doesn't matter, because it's valued at $10 million. So I ask you: is this great art, or is it garbage?" No one says anything. NPT continues: "I think 99% of art out there is garbage. But if most art is garbage, does that mean most garbage is art?"
The teams will be given a pile of garbage and art supplies. They have to create artwork and sell them. Douglas explains the task as "taking one man's art and making it treasure." I think that might be a bit of an overstatement, but we'll see. "David," the fake executive from IOCOR, tells them that they not only have to create art, but also create the artist behind the art and portray him or her at the gallery opening. NPT gives them the battle cry: "Remember, beauty is in the eye of how much the beholder is willing to pay. Go gettem."
The galleries are located in the Wicker Park Art District, which was the setting of an awful Josh Hartnett movie, by the way. Someone needs to explain his career to me. I don't get it. Anyway, the teams head to the galleries where, as Annette declares, "we're gonna be creating masterpieces." Masterpieces? Whitney calls the space "cute." I always have such an urge to slap her when she talks, don't you? The groups eventually find the back rooms of the galleries, which are loaded with garbage. Real garbage. Garbage that reeks. Fish heads, egg yolks, and what appears to be vomit. Whitney's team gets a toilet bowl filled with heaven knows what biological or bacterial material. David notes that the stench was unbearable. Keri declares there "definitely was vomit." She lets out a cavernous, echoing "Ewww!" which appears to startle the pigeons under the El.1 2 3 4 5 Next-->
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