The Starlet, Episode 4: High School Drama

Ah. Hollywood. The glitz. The glamour. The silver screen. The small screen. The direct-to-video movies. It’s all there, people.

Yes, we are back for yet another round of The Starlet and let me tell you that now that we’re down to five, I’m kinda in a place to finally start making a final round of predictions. Those that have read my recaps in the past know that by the midway point, I take a long, hard critical look at the remaining players and try to determine the order in which they will be booted and come up with who I think the winner is going to be. So, before we head into the recap, I’m going to do just that for you.

As of last week’s episode we were left with Michelynne, Cecile, Mercedes, Lauren, and Katie. Now, something tells me that with Katie finally pulling in some good reviews that we’re going to see her stick around for a while, which may put her in final three, if not final two. However, she is turning into the antagonist of the show with some of her comments last week so that may weigh against her. I think the whole Michelynne/”family house is at stake” story line will keep her around for more episodes while Cecile and Mercedes’ story arcs are just now seeming to pick up with Cecile’s finally getting some attention last week. Lauren, though, is on the downside of the action so I’m going to pick her to go in tonight’s episode followed by Mercedes next week, then Michelynne getting the heart breaking heave-ho, with a Cecile and Katie finale. Now, if that’s all true then I’m going to say that maybe Katie has a chance to pull it out in the end. Something tells me we have a comedy challenge coming up soon, which is something we haven’t seen yet. If Katie can make it into that challenge, I think she can clean up the floor and leave the others to fight it out to stick around.

I think Katie is going to pull out a win in the end and Lauren is going this week. Of course, Mercedes and Cecile are totally flexible in terms of which one finishes second and fourth, but I think that Mercedes won’t be able to sustain her earlier good impression on the judges and her slow slide will finally end next week.

Now, let me turn on the VCR and see how wrong I am. Let’s face it people, I’ve only ONCE in my years of writing about reality TV for two different sites been right about anything, and that was a LONG time ago. If I am not mistaken that was the Bachelor 3 season when I somehow managed to nail the final six in perfect order. I have never been able to duplicate that feat since and something tells me I’m not going to be able to do it here either. But, hey, it’s just fun to try.

Last week we said goodbye to Donna who was our “mattress” (model turned actress) and sadly, her model roots could not be denied as she was called everything from “green” to… well, a model. This week, we get something a little more dramatic which again solidifies my opinion that a comedy challenge has to be coming soon since we haven’t seen it happen yet. Crying, check. The on-screen kiss (albeit a lesbian one), check. A commercial. Check. Now we have drama, which means that comedy can only be so far behind.

Morning comes, everyone is in Mercedes’ room and she’s talking about her body. It’s merely a rehash of the previous episode’s judging where she was told that she wasn’t fit or, at the very least, toned. Mercedes exclaims that she’s a size four which to me sounds perfect. Oddly enough, it’s Katie who puts the proper spin on things when she tells Mercedes that it’s not that she’s fat but that she’s not comfortable with her body. Never was such a true statement uttered before. From the two episodes where a “body conscious” exercise has been performed, Mercedes just hasn’t been willing to show the flesh.

Of course, Katie has an ulterior motive behind her comments. She basically tells us that if Mercedes doesn’t find that comfort in her own body then she’s going to be eliminated. That means there’s just one less girl for her to contend with in the competition. As sneaky as that may sound, Katie’s perfectly right. Again, do you see why I think she may take it all?

Mercedes decides that she’s going to put matters into her own hands and wear her “There’s Nothing Wrong With a Little Junk in the Trunk” t-shirt today. Well, of course there’s nothing wrong with a little extra on a person. However, if we look at most television shows today, we aren’t seeing much junk or many trunks. Anyone disagree with me? While it may be a good psychological motivator to get her through the day if not the rest of the competition, it may not be something that will get her many jobs in Hollywood.

Call me cynical. Call me evil. Call me a vapid brain dead man-whore. You all know I’m right and we all have about 4,000 channels at our disposal proving it.