America's Next Top Model 4, Episode 4: You Look Fine, What’s Your Sign?

Tyra welcomes the girls into the judging room. It’s time for the third cut. She introduces them to the judges, along with special guest judge, Beverley Johnson. Tyra also reminds the girls of the prizes, then tells them that their individual evaluation test this week will be the shots that were taken at the “Tennis shoot.” Oh great, this should be good!

Michelle is the first girl to go, and although they don’t like her tennis shots, they are thrilled with her Zodiac shot. Naima looks good in her tennis shots, but opposite in her Zodiac shot. Tatiana is over the top in her tennis shots, but she looks hot as hell in her Gemini shot – and I’m not just saying that. It really does look good, and I’m not a huge Tatiana fan. Brittany is told that she looks great in her Zodiac shot, and doesn’t resemble a porn goddess at all.

Brandy is the next girl up, and the judges ask her if she is sad. She says no, and Tyra remarks that she was so bubbly in the audition round. They aren’t happy with her tennis shots, and are split with her Zodiac shot. Keenyah has a great profile in her tennis shots, and her Zodiac shot is the bomb. Kahlen is told that she lacks confidence, and it shows in her photos. However, they are a fan of her Aries shot. Christina is told that she looks cramped, and resembles a girl getting botox, which Janice confirms since she’s had so much.

Noelle steps up and the judges tell her to fix her hair. They aren’t a fan of any of her shots this week. Tiffany tells the judges that she didn’t want to whack the photographer, but if it was the Tiffany from six months ago, it would have happened. They aren’t fans of her tennis shots, but they think her Cancer shot was great considering that she had to work with huge claws on. Skrimps have claws? Lluvy goes next, and her Pisces shot doesn’t hit it off. Everyone thinks she looks like a dead fish, and I have to agree. It’s NOT a good shot at all. Rebecca is the last to go, and Tyra says she is back and strong. They like her tennis shots, but feel her Virgo shot is very pedestrian. It’s alright, but I’m not raving about it. In the midst of all this though, Tyra admits to not being a virgin. What is going on here tonight?

Time for the judges to deliberate. They feel that Tatiana is new, but has potential. Michelle looks like Jay Leno, according to Jay, while Keenyah has a great face. Rebecca is just alright, and Lluvy is good in person, but Tyra says that her shot this week was the worst in Top Model history. Hmm, it just might be. I think that’s an article! The judges see some progression with Brittany, and although Brandy has an exotic look, Nigel says that she looks like death warmed up.

The judges feel that Naima was off this week, and if Noelle could transform, she could be hot. Kahlen is too insecure, but could get self esteem in the long run. Tiffany is strong and nailed the shot, while Christina finally had some great shots of her own. This is going to be tough.

The girls walk back into the room. Tyra says that there are 12 girls, but she only has 11 photos. Those photos are the girls that will continue on. The first girl called is Brittney, who is told that she went from a XXX queen to queen of the galaxy. Good for Brittany! I like her. She is followed by Keenyah, Michelle and Kahlen, who is told that her confidence is slowly growing. Christina is called next, followed by Rebecca, Tatiana, Naima and Tiffany, and who Tyra tells is very beautiful.

There are only three girls left, as Noelle is the next girl called. She starts crying right away, and Tyra tells her that she has to listen, or she will leave the same way she showed up. This leaves us with Lluvy and Brandy, who both step up. Tyra says only one girl will move on, while the other must go back to the loft and pack her bags immediately. She says that one girl has an attitude with a capital A, and she’s not sure It can be fixed in 12 weeks. The other girl has only taken one good photo, and the one she took this week was the worst in Top Model history. I can’t believe she said it out loud! Ha! Tyra tells them that the judges feel one has more potential than the other. That person… is Lluvy! Brandy is sent packing, and doesn’t even say goodbye to the other girls, as we see Tiffany crying.

Brandy says she doesn’t regret anything that happened while she was there, and if the judges could look past her attitude, they would see what a great person she is. I hope she’s watching this show. She writes Tiffany, and only Tiffany, a goodbye note. Brandy then tells the camera that she never had a big sister, but always wanted one. Tiffany is her big sister. Aww!

Next week, looks like Michelle has some kind of problem with her face that might be contagious. Keenyah think sit might be a flesh eating virus, as the girls worry that they will get it too. Will Michelle’s face be fierce, or fatal? I don’t know, do you? Here’s how I rank the girls from here. See ya next week, my skrimp friend!

• Naima
• Keenyah
• Rebecca
• Tiffany
• Christina
• Tatiana
• Kahlen
• Michelle
• Brittany
• Noelle (Even though I love her)
• Lluvy

Phil Kural is a recent graduate from Temple University, with a degree in journalism. You can reach him at pkural@gmail.com with any feedback that you may have.

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