Caesars 24/7, Episode 14: Love and Marriage... And Free Stuff!

It seems the A&E network is playing games with us! First, Caesars 24/7 is moved to Saturdays at 6PM ET, then the schedule was pushed back a week! All this after changing the format from hourly to two consecutive half-hour episodes!

In the first of the two back-to-back half-hour episodes of Caesars 24/7 airing tonight, a lot of women expect free stuff and is Pit Boss Joe getting wet feet over his engagement?

Good looking girls pretty much get what they want in Vegas. Cyd and Teem have come with only $20 each. Their three objectives are: drinks, gambling, and dinner. They are confidant they can have it all without paying for it. Both gals are dressed nicely, but Teem’s boobage is particularly encouraging.

It’s been three months since Pit Boss Joe proposed to dealer Cheryl in an earlier episode. Joe wants to enjoy being engaged, Cheryl… not so much. It’s becoming a point of contention with them, and she’s getting “frustrated” that nothing has changed about their relationship.

Joe’s daughters come to pay a surprise visit to their father. He can tell they have a serious topic in mind, and it’s to warn him that Cheryl won’t wait forever. They advise him he needs to move forward. Joe says simply, “Can’t do it.”

Bartender Frank Williams can’t believe Cyd and Teem only have $20. One drink later, they have $8. But Frank thinks maybe, they just might be able to pull it off.

Next we meet Limo driver Kevin Howard. He picks up Alexis and Rich, who met on a Gothic personals website. She thinks Rich is taking her out for a night on the town. She doesn’t know he’s brought her entire family to Vegas from Utah for a surprise proposal. The family is going to stand around the limo holding candles while he proposes. And when the limo drives up to the hotel, Alexis is happy to see all the family members but doesn’t clue in to what’s coming... until Rich goes down on one knee.

Inside, Joe was caught off guard when his daughters cornered him. Joe liked the slow pace things were progressing. From his words and the way he delivers them, it seems clear to me that he’s not interested in getting married yet. Making vague promises to the daughters and pretending to have business to tend to, he quickly walks off.

Meanwhile, Cyd and Teem have left the bar and approach a table of guys. They claim to be sisters. “Sisters’ nipples look alike,” says one of them. “Let’s see.” Clas-sy! “No way!” say the girls. Cyd confesses, “To get what I want, I’ve never had to go father than a conversation.” So the girls accept what are probably “apology drinks” from the guys, and objective one of their agenda is complete.

Objective two for Cyd and Teem was gambling. They let it slip that they haven’t played craps before. From previous episodes, we know “craps virgins” are prized companions at the table… and off they all go. The bankroll is growing, and the girls get half of the winnings. Celebrations change from high-fives to hugs, and soon their $8 has improved to $215! Objective two, accomplished!

Pit Boss Joe makes a move – he moves Cheryl’s stuff into his place! No one ever has fun moving, it’s such a hot and tiring activity, but these guys seem to get through it pretty smoothly. Let’s hope things work out – if it all has to come back, that move won’t be so pretty!

It’s back outside to pick up our still-in-progress proposal. Fortunately for Richard, Alexis says a tearful, “Yes, yes!” Despite their Goth roots, these two could be any couple in America.

Limo driver Kevin picks up Fredrick & Patricia, who are from a small French-speaking island in the Indian Ocean. Fredrick and Patricia want to get married quick. They don’t have a place to go, so Kevin takes them to a drive-through wedding chapel. And sure enough, we witness their wedding, which takes all of about a minute. Patricia thinks it was fun. When asked what they’re going to do now, they say, “It’s none of your business!” I think that means “honeymoon!”

Meanwhile, all of Cheryl’s stuff is moved into Joe’s place. Cheryl is happy. “Now all I’m waiting for is a wedding date,” she says. She asks Joe, “When is that going to be? “He replies, “When you put all that stuff away!” Now, there’s motivation!

Objective three for Cyd and Teem was dinner. They next hook up with a couple of guys at a blackjack table. They play for about ten minutes, win another $45, then the guys take the girls to dinner. After they eat, the girls are outta there quickly. Feel very used, guys? All three objectives have been met!

The gals next go to a show. Lineups are not for them, and the just walk to the front. Good thing I wasn’t there! Whatever.

Their closing line is, “Good girls can survive on $20 in Vegas!”

In Conclusion:

Tonight’s episode of Caesars 24/7 was called, “Love And Marriage.” The Goth proposal and drive-through marriage segments never got rolling. Joe’s story was okay. So was Cyd and Teem’s, though it was the only one that didn’t fit the episode’s theme. I’ll give this episode a “C.”

So how many of the Seven Deadly Sins were invoked in this episode? I think we missed anger and envy only.

Next episode: It ran immediately afterwards. It’s available right here.

Brian is an unemployed/retired programmer from Toronto who really needs to take his wife on a free junket to Caesars Palace. He can be reached at uncle_bto@rogers.com.

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