The Apprentice 3 Weekly Performance Review, Episode 12: How To Succeed In Business Without Really Working

Before I do anything else, I want to send a message to those who emailed and told me there is no way Kendra has what it takes to win and that Tana is the obvious choice. It’s a very technical, detailed message:

HAH! In your FACE!

How about Pontiac, of all companies, teaching Domino’s a lesson in how to take advantage of product placement? They released the Solaris the day after this episode first aired. Now THAT’S marketing. Had Domino’s marketing people been in charge of this, they would release a new mini-van.

Kendra… er, Magna:

This team pissed me off so badly I had trouble writing this because I kept jumping back and forth from Tana to Craig. I think you two deserve a Hall of Shame moment, personally.

Craig: You are a jerk, you’re a liar, and you’re an absolute scumball. If Trump actually sees what does on in these tasks yet still lets you in the Final Four, he’ll make this show an even bigger joke than it already is. How mad was Trump at Alex for taking a nap? Would he blow his stack at you? Nah, because you’re probably a star because your team keeps winning. Shouldn’t you remember how mad you were during the Home Depot challenge? But no, instead of thinking, “Hey, I didn’t like it, maybe I shouldn’t act the same way,” you just turn around and act worse, actually. Out of spite? Kendra actually tried to apologize to you before the challenge, and you turned around and treated her like you did. What an ass.

Perhaps you should look up the word “teamwork” in the dictionary. Look it up after you learn what the word “theme” means. See, most people try to contribute toward the success of their team, not find ways to bring it down. How many times did Kendra need to describe the brochure? And, for that matter, why did she even need to? She was the Project Manger. If the idea was so bad, you should have aired your displeasure in front of George or Carolyn, and let Kendra twist in the wind should you lose. Your drooling all over Kendra and her winning brochure was absolutely sickening. It made me physically ill. You are slime.

I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but I once worked with someone very much like you, whose sole function seemed to be to tear other people down. I’m proud to say that I helped get him fired when I complained about him to a supervisor. The memory still makes me glow with pride. Here’s hoping Kendra gets that same memory next week. Judging from the previews, she will, since you two are getting into a fight and she’s immune, no thanks to you.

Tana: Wow, your stock really took a nosedive in my eyes this week. In a way, your actions were worse than Craig’s. Had you lost, Craig would have had to defend himself in the boardroom and risk being fired. You had nothing to lose by short-timing it and you knew it. You even REMINDED US. Next week, you won’t have immunity. Kendra will. She actually earned it.

You obviously didn’t learn a freaking thing from the Home Depot task. Remember that, when you gave up and whined about going to the boardroom until you realized it was actually a good idea? With no apologies to Craig? Remember? The only difference here is that you had immunity, so we were spared hearing you whine about possibly being fired. For making the SAME MISTAKE twice, you don’t deserve to stick around.

Honestly, how can you justify GOING HOME in the middle of a task and then trying to undercut Kendra in the presentation? You’re lucky Kendra didn’t smack that little fake smirk off your face. I almost regret putting you in the finals now, and I only hope it happens so you can get steamrolled like Jen did last season.

Kendra: I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW IT! You’re my girl! Thank you for finally putting your stamp on this show, and doing it with style. Who stood up for Danny in the first boardroom instead of piling on, instead placing the blame on the real loser, Todd? Who found a great deal on furniture in the hotel task? Who came up with the idea to market the miniature golf to local businesses, WITHOUT Tana as I said last week, but with Erin? (Thanks to reader Stephanie for pointing this out). KENDRA!