Knievel’s Wild Ride, Episode 3: Desperate Bar Flies

We begin the third episode of Knievel’s Wild Ride in sunny Tucson, Arizona, four days before a jump. Robbie tells us that he’s here to jump over, “a bunch of RVs.” Mark Holcolm, the marketing director of Beaundry RV, tells us that Robbie’s going to be jumping National RVs and that the distance will be about 180 feet. So, if you haven’t been paying attention, it looks like Robbie will be jumping RVs. Mark explains that they are expecting about 15,000 to 20,000 people.

Now, for the first time, we meet Master Brian Gates. Master Gates is Robbie’s bodyguard. He mentions that he has done a “threat assessment.” We watch as Gates explains to the cops that he will identify some people for them that have made some negative comments about Robbie. He then tells us that he photographs the crowds at each of Robbie’s jumps and tries to see if he can recognize anyone who tends to show up frequently in the pictures. Todd and Robbie then tell us separately that there is a “daredevil wannabe” in Tucson who may show up to mess with Robbie’s jump.

Let the ramp building commence! For the third straight week we get to go behind the scenes and watch ramp construction. Sure, it’s important for the jump, but is it good TV? Oops, don’t let me distract you. I wouldn’t want you to miss seeing Todd measure the gap for the RVs. Riveting! Robbie then explains that he expected the RVs to be eight feet wide, but that it looks like they are nine feet wide. Robbie measures. They’re almost nine feet. Robbie explains that because they are nine feet instead of eight, this makes the jump more difficult. According to Robbie, nine feet is, “a lot wider” than eight feet. Genius. Now, Todd and Robbie are measuring the RV. Robbie tells Mark that they’re wider than he thought. Mark says that they won’t be so wide when they retract the sides that are popped out. Duh.

Robbie now explains that there are curbs between his take-off ramp and the jump ramp. They had to build a ramp to go over the curbs. Robbie is concerned. However, I can’t imagine this is something Team Knievel has never faced before. The drama over technical difficulties doesn’t get me worked up. Aren’t these guys experienced professionals? This is wasted time that could have been devoted to bar brawls. Sorry for the tangent. Anyways, Robbie is now talking to Mark and telling him he is concerned about the wind.

Again, Robbie tells us that the worst-case scenario would be that his back wheel catches the side of the ramp while his front wheel misses it. This would cause his bike to flip and he would probably break his neck doing a face plant. We then see Robbie Knievel Crash Footage. From the archives, we see his bike do just as he described during a past jump in Hawaii. Well, actually, it’s a different kind of crash where his bike hardly makes it to the landing ramp. And he doesn’t break his neck; he crushes his, “family jewels.” But it’s almost the same, isn’t it? No matter. We see the crash twice.

Back to Master Gates! He has to get Robbie to an event at a bar by six o’clock. “It could be pretty intense,” says Master Gates. This is because the public will be able to mix freely with Kaptain Knievel. We now watch Robbie be rather friendly and gregarious with the bar patrons.

But back to Master Gates! He tells us there is one person who he is concerned about, who is at the top of his “A-List.” Apparently the guy has supposedly jumped motorcycles and could be a threat to Robbie’s life. Mater Gates says every town has its daredevil wannabes that want to antagonize Robbie. He’s got his eyes peeled for people he could recognize from past events.

Master Gates now narrates a story where a guy asks Robbie for an autograph at a signing event. The guy then follows that up with a request for Robbie to sign his motorcycle. Robbie complies. Then the guy, as narrated by Gates, lays some smack down about how he has beaten all of Evel and Robbie’s jumping records. Master Gates now tells us that he had to do a background check on the guy.

Now we are shown various jackasses peeling out in the street for no apparent reason. Robbie laughs it up.

Three Days Before the Jump:

We are told by a Beaudry RV exec that Robbie hasn’t shown for an interview with a local radio morning show. (Radio morning shows- where humor goes to die.) The DJ’s are now whining on air about Robbie not doing the interview. They go into the “How does this always happen to us?” routine. Amazing that a MORNING show has problems getting punctual interviews.

What do you know? Robbie shows up and does the interview.

Now we see Roman lying in bed telling us he’s been puking all day. I never thought I’d be so happy to see Roman. Apparently he had too much booze the night before. Finally, something remotely entertaining! Roman tells us he’s supposed to be working. We then cut to Todd who tells us that Roman is like a “rattlesnake.” “They do nothing. You don’t need them.” Apparently, Todd is not familiar with the concept of an ecosystem.