The Casino, Episode 8: What a Drag!

Episode 8 of The Casino opens with a group of people manically pushing buttons on slot machines. They’re hitting the buttons so fast and frantically that it reminds me of rats pushing a button for cheese in some kind of science experiment. All the while, a man in a blue tuxedo cheers them on. What’s this all about? We’ll have to wait a few minutes to find out.

Before we do, it’s time for Tim and Tom to talk once again about their difficulty finding entertainment for the casino. Tom says that he’s throwing a celebrity dinner, inviting a bunch of Vegas performers to the casino for the night. Tim asks if he thought of it all by himself, and Tom says he came up with the idea in a brainstorming session with Zach and Bally the dog. Poor Zach, getting lumped in with the dog. Tim explains to us in an interview that he’s handling the gambling, but Tom, who is “more Hollywood,” is in charge of entertainment.

With that little exchange out of the way, we’re back to the people wildly pushing buttons on the slot machines, but this time, Tim tells us what’s going on in a voiceover. It turns out we’re watching a slots tournament. The players are competing for a jackpot, and slots players just love these competitions. Tim watches and says that people love playing the slots because they feel comfortable with it – there are no rules to learn, no smarts or strategy, just pure luck. And the slot machines are great for the casino, too. They make up a significant amount of revenue, they’re predictable, and they’re easy to manage since you don’t need a casino employee to run them.

Table games, though, give casino owners more to worry about, Tim says. And Tim looks worried indeed as he and Tom watch high roller Frankie playing craps. Tim points out that Frankie keeps betting the maximum, which at this table is $5,000. Frankie has a one million dollar credit line to play with. Tim says that a credit line, especially one that high, isn’t going to be granted to just anyone. To borrow that much money from a casino, you need to know someone who can vouch for you. Tim believes Frankie is good for the money. Obviously, Tim shouldn’t be tempting the gods of foreshadowing like that, now should he?

The next day, Zach tells Tim that Frankie has already blown through his million dollar credit line. Not only that, but Frankie has left the hotel. Ooh, that’s not good! Tim immediately calls Frankie and asks for the money. Tim says in an interview that after dealing with high rollers, nothing surprises him anymore, and he has a bad feeling about this. On the phone, Tim tells Frankie that he has 30 days to repay the money. Frankie immediately blames Tim for his misfortune. He shouldn’t have let him have that much money to play with in the first place, and he doesn’t have the money, and his wife is going to leave him, and his broker lost him money, and boo hoo. Tim says that none of that is his problem, and he wants the money he is owed. They can work out a payment plan, but Tim needs some cash up front as a show of good faith. At first he wants half a million dollars, but lets Frankie talk him down to $200,000. Aw, Tim you big softie.

Tim is ready to get the money right away, and agrees to meet Frankie at a bank. But when Tim is delayed and shows up late, Frankie has already gone. Tim whips out his cell phone and learns that Frankie is playing golf, so he drives to the golf course to meet him. Frankie actually has a bag full of cash that he hands over to Tim, just like in the movies. Tim says he’s glad to have some of the money in hand, even though he’s still out $800,000.

That night, Tommy and his friend Mike are headed outside of Vegas. What could two denizens of Sin City be looking for outside their humble town? That’s right – more sin. They’re on their way to the Cottontail Ranch, a brothel 180 miles outside of Vegas. Tommy cements my hate of him by saying, “There better be some good tail at the Cottontail Ranch.” Shut up, Tommy. Please?

Tommy says that prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas, but not in other parts of Nevada. He and Mike rationalize that if they can somehow get the women’s… services… for free, it’s not really sleeping with a prostitute. If that helps you sleep at night, boys. Tommy reminds us that a few weeks ago, he met Moe, the owner of the brothel. Moe promised if he came out to the Cottontail, he’d hook him up with a good time. Tommy and Mike then argue about who will get to choose the best looking woman.

In an interview, Tommy says he’s 23 and has never been to a brothel, so he figured why not? He tells Mike not to tell anyone what they’re doing. Right, and make sure there are no camera crews following you boys around!

Tim asks Tom how the plans are going for the celebrity dinner. Tom says that Wayne Newton and Ben Verene can’t make it, but Sheena Easton and Lance Burton will be there. And Zach wants to invite Frank Marino, a drag queen with a long-running show. Tom says that Frank would make for a colorful evening. Tim says, “What color, chartreuse?” Tim is an idiot. If he’d said, “What color, pink?” it would have been stupid, but at least it would have made sense. Tom assures Tim that it will be a good dinner.

We meet Frank Marino, out of his drag makeup. Frank says that he used to want to be a doctor, but he spent a little too much time at the cosmetics counter instead. As he trowels on the makeup, he says that he doesn’t know what to expect from Tim and Tom, but he does know that he wants his outfit to be over the top. Frank says that the rat pack era that the guys are trying to bring back is over and done with. He adds that he doesn’t usually hang out with other Vegas performers, though some of them are his friends.

In another casino dressing room, ventriloquist Ronn Lucas and his dragon puppet Scorch talk about how fun it will be to meet Frank Marino. Scorch says he’s excited to meet “a dragon queen.” Ronn and Scorch join Frank, who is now made up as Frankie, in her dressing room. They hop into a limo together. Frankie is all dressed up with a big blonde wig, a slinky yellow dress, and a yellow feathered coat. It’s an excellent outfit. In the limo, Scorch asks Frankie questions about what it’s like to be a drag queen. Frankie says that it’s fun because you get to be both sexes. In an interview, Frank admits that it’s really weird having a serious conversation with a puppet.