The Casino, Episode 11: The Host With the Least

Welcome back to another double shot of Casino recaps. For those playing along at home, don’t forget that I have officially decided that about 90% of what happens on this show was in someway contrived or influenced for the show. And when that becomes especially obvious, you’ll hear the ding of my B.S. meter. Your ears will be ringing by the time this episode is over.

Tommy is in the office on his day off (ding!) and is reading (ding!) Las Vegas magazine. He shows his dad and Dee the feature article on the Nugget’s newest host, Richard. Tommy says in an interview that Richard is the best, and he really admires him professionally. Apropos of nothing (ding!), Dee advises Tommy not to chase girls when he’s on the clock. John shrugs it off, saying, “He’s a good lookin’ kid,” so what are you going to do? Dee, dead serious, tells Tommy to watch his step. As Tommy leaves the office, he gets his first box of business cards and is really excited. He loves being a host and hopes he doesn’t mess up this great opportunity.

I think we all know where this is going, don’t we?

It’s one week before Geoff and Kristin’s big wedding, and Tommy says that Kristin asked him to find a wedding planner for her. He doesn’t know any, so he asks Richard for a recommendation. Richard sets it up, and the next thing you know, Kristin is in a limo with her bridesmaids and Geoff’s mom, on the way to meet the planner. Kristin says that they don’t have much time for planning, but they can do it. As soon as she meets Tara, the wedding planner, Kristin embraces her. She tells Tara that she wants a classy wedding, beautiful centerpieces, and great flowers. Tara tells her that flowers can be expensive, but Kristin doesn’t care.

Meanwhile, Mary (Geoff’s brother’s girlfriend) and Suzette (the maid of honor) meet with another woman to plan the bachelorette party. Mary takes the lead, explaining that they want lots of fun activities. Suzette says in an interview that she’s not happy that Mary is in the wedding party because not long ago, Mary and Kristin weren’t even speaking. She tells Mary that she resents the fact that she’s taking over the bachelorette party planning, because as maid of honor, it’s her responsibility. Mary says that if she wants to be in charge, then she needs to step up and take charge. Mary kind of has a point. Suzette has seemed rather passive so far. Mary tells Suzette that she should put aside any feelings she has about Mary for Kristin’s sake. Suzette totally ignores this, snaps, “You can have it,” and stalks off. Lovely.

Now we’re in Los Angeles (ding), where Geoff is showing Bryan the house that he and Kristin just bought. Geoff points out a bedroom that will eventually be a kid’s room, which throws Bryan for a loop. Geoff says that things are getting expensive, and that all of his expenses have by far exceeded the amount of money he intended to spend. “It took all of my spending cash,” Geoff tells Bryan. Considering that Geoff is willing to lose $5,000 in a single hand of blackjack, I’m not really sympathetic.

As Kristin tries on dresses, Geoff calls her cell phone (ding!). She gleefully tells him, “I’m spending lots of money today.” Just so we’re clear, we’re to believe that Geoff and Bryan were just talking about money, Geoff chose that moment to call Kristin, and that at that very moment, she was trying on her wedding dress and opted to tell him she was spending a lot of money. So, ding. Geoff tells Kristin that the money isn’t an issue, and he’ll work hard. Kristin is tearing up and says that her dress is the most beautiful dress in the world. Geoff asks her how much it costs. She hedges and says that it’s less than $4,000. Hey, my wedding dress also cost less than $4,000! Geoff says that’s fine. Well, with the honesty and open communication that already exists between them, I think these two kids are going to be just fine.

Kristin meets with Mary and Suzette and tells them that she is really stressed out and needs her friends to be there for her, not sniping at each other. Mary says that Suzette is sometimes nice to her, but sometimes is a real bitch. Suzanne says that’s because Mary keeps stepping on her toes. “I’m the maid of honor. You need to step back.” Suzette says that Kristin’s wedding is not about Mary, it’s about her friendship with Kristin that has lasted over 20 years. In other words, it’s all about Suzette, not Mary. As they bicker, Kristin is getting more and more upset. Mary finally apologizes to Suzette. Kristin hopes this is resolved.

Dee tells Tommy that he needs him to work with a new high roller, a woman named Veleda. He says it’s a mini test for him. Ding!

Geoff is on his way to Las Vegas, and apparently this wealthy high roller flies Southwest. Whatever. He tells Bryan that the wedding is going to cost a few hundred thousand dollars. Bryan suggests, quite reasonably, that Geoff talk to Kristin about a budget. Geoff won’t hear it. After all, he just spoke to Kristin, and she was crying because she was so happy in that expensive dress. “Do you want me to tell her to take it off and buy a rag?” That’s right, because there is no middle ground between Kristin’s dress and a rag. I hate these people.

Tommy meets his friends and family for dinner to celebrate his promotion. One of his friends roasts him, recalling all of the jobs Tommy had before this one. There was the time he worked at a golf course, fell asleep on the job, and got fired. And his glamorous job washing dump trucks. John says, “Every job Tom ever got fired at, I got him.” Well, that’s something to be proud of, isn’t it? Tommy raises a toast to his dad, then offers another toast: “Here’s to those who wish us well. Those who don’t can go to hell.” Tommy is apparently about nine years old.