The Complex: Malibu, Episode 1: We’ve Only Just Begun

Let me start off by saying that starting on a new show always totally stresses me out. I don’t know the people’s names and, as I frantically try to cover the action, I find myself guessing who’s saying what to whom and miss little bits and pieces that ultimately mean something to the overall plot. This time around, I figured I’d do something different and just watch the show. This strategy seems to have worked, and now I feel much more capable of intelligently recapping the first episode!

Here’s the way this one is going to go down. Eight couples have been selected and will be divided up into two teams. Each team will then be subdivided so that each of the four apartments will initially house two couples. Each week, the teams will be presented with a project and given a specific amount of time and money to complete that project. The end results will be judged by a panel of experts who will determine which of the four projects add the most value. One couple from the team responsible for the least valuable project will be evicted. Once we get down to four couples, each will have their own apartment and be fully responsible for finishing the project. The apartments will be sold at auction and the couple who is responsible for completing work on the apartment that sells for the highest amount will win the profits from all the units. This may be a first in reality show history where the prize is not a fixed amount. Because these units are being auctioned, the selling price is as yet undetermined. Millions of viewers will have a chance to watch as they are remodeled and, ultimately bid on them. They could sell for millions!

We meet the eight couples as they are packing up to start their adventure. Refer to my preview article for a rundown of these brave souls. The Complex is actually four apartments stacked up like a staircase. The group is divided into two teams – Upper and Lower Complex- and, predictably, the pairings, which will ultimately shape the contest, are about as mismatched as possible. The Lower Complex team consists of Erik and Jayna (the artsy pair) who are rooming with sassy Sam and her rough and tumble boyfriend Scotty, and Steve and Nicole (the cutesy couple) who are paired with Sanyika and Monique, who come off as polished and professional. Upper Complex is graced with the presence of a 21st century version of Archie and Edith Bunker (Barney and Rose), and Dave and Ana. Brad and Lew (the gay guys) are paired off with Carl and Kim, who seem to me to be the most stable and together couple of them all. Got it?

They are driven to the Complex in four separate limousines, and have a chance to meet their new roomies. The teams start out with high hopes, but their optimism is dashed almost from the moment that they meet. The mismatches are so obvious that it is painful to watch! Poor Ana nearly leaps from the moving vehicle when Barney tells her that his taste runs to Western décor. The disparity between Sam and Jayna is about as obvious as the difference in their hairstyles. You know that this just ain’t gonna work! But they are all excited about the possibilities, and share one fleeting moment of unity when they receive the keys to their individual apartments.

The limousines arrive at the Complex, and everyone rushes for their first view of their new digs. Knowing that they had signed on to do a complete renovation should have prepared them for the condition of these dwellings, but they seem surprised by the condition of the units. Each apartment is totally trashed, complete with a cruddy looking toilet, disgusting paneling, hideous dirty carpeting, and all manner of mess. My question, how the hell did the producers of this show find four such equally disheveled structures in Malibu? Did they trash them on purpose? Were the filthy tubs and toilets imported for the show? This seemed strange to me but, hey, who am I to question?

But, fear not, the decks are loaded with equipment including hard hats and all kinds of power tools. This excites them all, but they also understand that this project is going to be hard work. It’s obvious that there is much to be done and, to everyone’s credit, they all start right in with the cleaning. Well, almost everyone. As we watch them scurry about, the slackers become rather apparent. Sanyika neatly arranges piles of ripped up carpeting and chuckles as most of the others are working their butts off, running up and down four flights of stairs to the dumpster in a somewhat organized fashion. Lew and Brad seem to be the most industrious, but others are totally overwhelmed and unable to contribute. We have our first chance to witness Rose in action – or perhaps her inaction! Okay, she’s no spring chicken but, please, didn’t you know you were going to have to work when you signed on for this show? She takes one little box down to the dumpster and is exhausted by the time she gets back up the four flights of stairs. So, what does she do? Why she smokes a cigarette, of course. In the first fifteen minutes of this episode, Rose has already won my vote for the most annoying reality show personality of the year!

The other half of this group – Brad and Lew, and Carl and Kim are doing much better. They seem to be getting along just fine and understand the nature of the word work. At one point, they go upstairs to try and help quell the disaster that is brewing. Lew figures that since Rose can’t take the stairs and doesn’t clean, she can cook them dinner. Wrong answer, dude. This suggestion totally pisses her off and she states that this is the last time she’s going to do the cooking. So what are you going to do, Rose? File your nails? No one is quite sure what to make of her but I am having a déjà vu experience right in my living room. I had a roommate in college who was just like Rose – didn’t clean, couldn’t cook, and who would cover herself and the entire apartment in talcum powder every time she took a shower. I wanted her gone so desperately that I spent an entire semester plotting against her. In Rose, I hear her voice, lost to me after all these years. My skin crawls and I am sure to have flashbacks. Oh, please stop me.

Meanwhile, trouble is brewing in the Sam/Scotty/Eric/Jayna group. The gals don’t see eye to eye on much of anything and, at dinner, they get into a ridiculous argument about crown molding. Sam is insulted and Jayna is clueless. This isn’t going to work at all. Dinner is strained, to say the least. Finally, they all settle in for the night with dreams of big money dancing in their heads.

Morning arrives all too soon. Rose wants to go home, and Barney is full of energy. But what’s this? Why it’s “tube mail” outlining Challenge #1. Each apartment receives a blueprint and instructions as to their first task. The teams have five days to remodel the master bedroom in their individual units and have been allotted a budget of $10,000. They have to share the use of a pickup truck. But, before they can get started, each team must select a property manager – one person who will be held accountable for the success or failure of his or her team. The obvious choices for this “honor” are Kim and Monique, both of whom have already asserted themselves, making their voices heard. With no time to waste, they immediately get to work. The PMs negotiate for the timesharing of the truck, and each feels that she has somehow “won” the first battle. And they’re off!

This is where it starts to get sticky. Naturally, the first thing one must do when renovating any space is to come up with a design plan. The thing is, when such different individuals are paired up, agreeing on anything is difficult. The Lew/Brad/Kim/Carl team seems to see eye-to-eye and begin immediately to plan their project. Heck, Kim and Lew both agree on using dark stained bamboo on the floor. Could they be any more alike? But Sam and Scotty, and Eric and Jayna are in trouble from the start. They disagree on everything, and it becomes very personal, with the ladies sniping at each other from the get-go! And it isn’t much better for their teammates, Dave and Ana, and Barney and Rose either – far from it. Dave is annoyed that the “Double B’s” are constantly talking about remodeling projects they have done in the past and Ana is concerned about the older couple’s rather mundane tastes. When Rose suggests putting a chandelier in the bedroom, Ana nearly loses it. This should be interesting.