The Apprentice 2, Episode 2: We All Scream for Ice Cream

Mosaic heads to Ciao Bella for a tour. Andy is immediately annoyed, as Pamela asks a ton of questions along the way. She wants to know every aspect of how the ice cream is made, how the machines work, how many people are involved in production, and on and on. He says he’s just there to sell ice cream, not to learn all about the machinery. Kelly says that she seems to just love the sound of her own voice. I think that’s part of it. I also think that Pamela really thinks she’s on top of things, is learning a lot, and might stumble across some innovative idea. The problem is, the clock is ticking.

It’s time for the Trump Lesson of the Week. This week’s lesson: “Get Organized.” Trump says that lack of organization drives him crazy because it shows a lack of leadership. Ahem: Ivana.

As Team Flavor tours Ciao Bella, undoubtedly listening to Pamela ask about the annual air conditioning costs of the building, Wes has a conference call to do some selling. He says in an interview that he’s very comfortable selling over the phone, but the reality we see isn’t quite the same. In spite of the impressive crap tapestry he weaves about how much the focus group loved this mystery flavor, he’s not getting anywhere. He tries another place, but they tell him they’re closed the next day. He asks if they can meet them today, and Raj points out that they don’t have any ice cream today, and they’re closed the next day, so it’s a waste of time. Kevin agrees. Still, it does appear that Wes is the only member of the sales team doing any actual selling.

Apex hits Ciao Bella, and Jennfier C. says it turned into “team havoc.” Ooh, maybe Team Havoc could have been their name instead of Apex. The team grabs a conference room, and they start madly brainstorming ideas for flavors. Stacie says that Ivana never took control of the meeting. That’s probably true, but all I could think about was how good each and every flavor idea that they threw out sounded. Cake batter? Margarita? Parmesan? Whatever, they all sounded fabulous. Did I mention that I’m six months pregnant? At this point, I paused my Tivo and got myself a big fat bowl of ice cream. The baby needs calcium, after all.

Back at Mosaic, Raj wants to know when the ice cream will be ready. We get some technical answers from new ice cream expert Pamela, but the short answer is that it’ll be in 14- ½ hours. Wes asks if they have a flavor yet. They don’t, which is not good news since Wes really can’t sell the ice cream without a flavor. Kevin says, “Drop a chocolate bar in the vanilla ice cream and call it a day.” Everyone suddenly realizes that he’s right, and that it’s not all about coming up with the world’s most innovative product. A few more moments of discussion, and they’ve chosen a flavor: vanilla ice cream with doughnuts. Laws, that sounds good. Please excuse me from this recap while I have another bowl of ice cream.

Okay, I’m back. They meet with a chef, and Pamela asks him how they can make the ice cream taste like doughnuts. The chef draws from his years of experience and tells he to buy some doughnuts. Brilliant! But it will cost them money in raw materials. Chris tries to buy some over the phone, but he doesn’t have any luck. The team needs to get the ingredients pronto so that there’s time to make the ice cream, so a bunch of them pile into a van, hit two Dunkin’ Doughnuts stores, and clear them out. I love it.

Meanwhile, Apex is still trying to choose a flavor. Looks like quick decision making isn’t exactly their forte. Amusingly, one of the flavor ideas someone suggests is doughnut, to which Ivana makes a face. Jennifer C. says that they gave themselves a deadline of 4:00 to make a decision. Finally, they land on red velvet cake. The Ciao Bella executive just says, “It’s interesting,” and assures them that they have all of the ingredients needed to make that flavor. Jennifer C. is giving an interview outside and sees Mosaic arrive with their bounty of doughnuts and is very worried about her team’s chances.

Elizabeth suggests that they try to sell to restaurants, so a bunch of them start making phone calls. It’s a chaotic scene, as they’re all on top of each other talking on cell phones. Stacie says it was hard for her to think straight. She then has what she thinks is a great idea – they can hire five temps to do the promotions for them. She crawls under the table (no, really – she’s literally on the floor under the table) to set it up. Ivana notices and cannot believe what she is seeing. In an interview, she says, “Stacie J. is a loose cannon. She needs adult supervison.” Stacie’s idea of hiring more workers isn’t totally without merit, though with a team of nine people, they probably don’t need many more hands. Regardless, she really should have talked to her boss before deciding to spend some of the team’s seed money.

Everyone is much more optimistic at Mosaic. They all love the product, though Pamela says that they could make it with dog feces, and Ciao Bella would make it taste good. For the record, that statement did not make me crave ice cream. Kelly says that the sales effort didn’t go very well, and he’s disappointed with Wes. Raj says that the restaurant idea just didn’t work out, and suggests that they get ice cream carts and sell on the streets. Andy suggests that as an added hook, they donate some of their proceeds to charity. Kevin says that he likes to give to leukemia charities because his brother had it – he gave him a bone marrow transplant. The men quickly agree to give to Kevin’s charity, and move on to selecting a location. Unlike the women, they did not fill up a dry erase board with names of all of the possible charities in the United States and the rest of the world, nor did they spend the next two hours thinking about possible locations. Raj thinks they should go to Times Square, and everyone agrees. Chris suggests that they put the two carts right next to each other so there won’t be long lines. They’ll set up in front of Toys R Us. That’s a solid plan.

The Apex team returns home, and quickly spies all of Mosaic’s plans. Jennifer C. gloats about the fact that now they know what the other team is up to. Ooops. Stacie whispers that selling the ice cream on the streets is actually a really good plan. The rest of the team agrees. Lil Stacy thinks they should cancel all of their appointments with restaurants. She goes on to suggest that they set up their carts near a booth in Times Square that sells theater tickets. Everyone agrees with the new (stolen) plan. Bradford earns my eternal scorn by saying, “If you grow a set of boobies, you’ll be able to outsell my girls.” Shut the hell up, Bradford. Really.