The Apprentice 2, Episode 5: The Price is Right

Pamela is working on pricing also. The sponges come in a set of 30, and she wants to sell them for a buck each – there will be no magic price point. Ivana thinks $19.99 would be more appealing, but Pamela’s decision stands. Meanwhile, Stacy has the legal rep from QVC watch the run-through of the product demonstration. She seems to be concerned with which of the labels of rival cleaning products they can and cannot show on the air. She’s very detailed, and Pamela thinks she’s being too detailed. She tells Stacy this, and says that she just needs to find a way to make the legal guy tell them yes. Stacy is incredibly frustrated and says that if Pamela didn’t want someone who was legally capable, she shouldn’t have asked her. Lil Stacy adds, “Don’t ask the lawyer. Ask the wedding planner to be the lawyer.” Good one, Stacy!

The women rehearse their pitch, and Maria does most of the talking. I immediately notice that Maria is blinking like a maniac, just like she does most of the time when she’s talking. She has really long eyelashes, so it’s kind of distracting. Elizabeth, watching how it all looks on screen, also says that she’s using her hands too much. Pamela says that with all of the hand flapping and blinking, “it really looks like she’s having a seizure.” Harsh, but true, and Elizabeth agrees. They think Jennifer is doing a much better job. Pamela goes to the set to talk to Maria about taking a back seat to Jennifer while Elizabeth talks to Ivana on the walkie-talkie. Elizabeth says to tell Jennifer that she did a great job and not to change anything, and to basically have Maria play second chair. Unfortunately, Elizabeth is good and loud on that thing, so Maria hears every word of it. Ouch. Pamela gets to the set, and Maria tells her that she doesn’t need to say anything – “I got it, loud and clear. What am I, stupid?” Then she sits alone, blinking furiously, clearly upset. In an interview, she says that it was a really inappropriate way to talk to someone, especially right before they have to go on camera. Aww… Maria really didn’t do very well on camera, but that was a harsh way to find out. I feel for her.

Mosaic is about to go on the air, and John says that nerves are high. After all, they only have 12 minutes to sell. Andy is fascinated by how it all works (and by the way, made a big mistake by agreeing to wear a hard hat in his interview). You can watch a chart that shows how many calls are coming in at any given moment, and thanks to the instant results, the people in the control room can convey that information to the people on camera. Cool. He watches in horror as the line crashes down until a customer calls in to talk about how great the grill is. The more she talks, the higher the line peaks. The 12 minutes are over quickly, and the results aren’t as good as Mosaic had hoped. Raj says that they sold about 200 grills, but they were hoping to sell 800. He thinks that the high price was a big obstacle.

The women go on the air next. They get no calls at all until Jennifer starts to demonstrate the product. Stacy says it’s like watching a horse race. Jennifer is a real natural on camera. It doesn’t seem like she’s someone selling something to you – it’s more like your friend Jennifer is telling you about a cool way she found to get crayon marks off the walls. After the time is up, Sandy says she thinks they did the best they could. They sold about 650 units, which is a relief. Pamela says that the team needed a breath of fresh air, and hopes that they not only win, but that they win big.

Trump appears to them on a big TV screen like something out of 1984 and says that both teams were impressive. The women sold 659 units at $27.23 each for a total of $17,944.57. The men sold 252 units at $71.25 for a total of $17, 955. The men win by an incredibly close margin. They all cheer, and Chris immediately gives credit to Kelly for setting their price point and congratulates his team. Chris irritated me last episode, but I really respect the way he praises everyone after the win. As a reward, Mosaic will go to the Arthur Ashe tennis stadium to play tennis with John McEnroe and Anna Kournikova. Plus, on October 11th, the candidates will come back to QVC to sell their products again. I guess if you’re interested in a new grill or miracle sponge, you’ll know when to watch.

Mosaic meets at the stadium where John and Anna are playing tennis. Andy says that he’s played tennis for his entire life and has had a poster of John McEnroe on his poster for years. He is absolutely thrilled to meet him, and actually manages to return some volleys that McEnroe hits to him.

Raj, on the other hand, is much more interested in Anna. He immediately hits on her, but it doesn’t seem to be working. In an interview, he says, “If you are… in the presences of such beauty, you must take a shot.” Hey, can’t blame a guy for trying. Raj and Anna work out a deal – she’ll send him five serves. If he can return one, she’ll go out for coffee with him. If he doesn’t, she can give him a dare. Anna serves the ball, and Raj complains that she put a spin on it, “like Clinton.” He calls the next one “a Slick Willie serve.” Wow, I bet that joke killed in 1992, Raj! Keep an eye out for Raj to make some “flip flop” jokes in around 2012. Raj rapidly misses five times, much to the amusement of the rest of the team. The rest of the guys and Anna immediately decide that Raj needs to strip down to his boxers and run a lap around the stadium. Sweet! Raj struts around the stadium and a slow jog, waving to everyone as he runs. Then, Anna, John, and the team all start firing tennis balls at him. A good time is had by all.

I’m sure it will surprise no one that things aren’t so jovial with Apex. Lil Stacy says that they need to come up with reasons that Pamela should get fired. In an interview, she says that Pamela was really disrespectful towards all of them. Sandy puts it more simply: the price point was too high, and Pamela was the one who set it. Ivana says that it’s really a matter of Pamela against the rest of the team. Well, Trump was hoping that Pamela could bring the fractured Apex team together, and she did, but I don’t think this is what he had in mind. Elizabeth says that anyone with decent leadership experience could have led the team to victory. That’s funny, since she couldn’t do it herself.