The Apprentice 2, Episode 13: Candy Strippers

The three enter the boardroom. Trump points out that they were beaten badly by two people who were at each other’s throats last time. What happened? Kevin says that they were quite simply outplayed. Ivana says that she was fighting for a higher price point, but that the guys just couldn’t sell candy bars for $5. Apparently, she’s never awake when her two hottie teammates answer the Trump Phone shirtless, or she might not be so sure. Kelly says he thinks they underestimated Mosaic, and George tells him that was a big mistake.

Kelly then tells Trump that Ivana couldn’t control Kevin on the price. Ivana says that she didn’t approve Kevin’s selling the candy bars at only a buck each. Carolyn points out that Ivana didn’t stop him, either. Kevin says he didn’t think they could sell a fifty cent candy bar for $2, so he sold them for what he could.

Kelly says that Kevin was the one who set the pricing so low. However, he says he’d fire Ivana. He adds that his team is the strongest, and he thinks it’s a shame that Kevin or Ivana has to go. Trump then asks the simple question: if they’re so strong, then why did they lose?

Trump next asks Ivana if she flashed people on the street – what happened? Ivana immediately gets defensive and says that she was wearing “bikini shorts” under her skirt. Carolyn says, “We haven’t said anything yet, so relax.” Ivana says it was just a gimmick, and that it worked. Of course, the team lost, so it didn’t really work, did it? George cuts to the heart of the matter as he says sarcastically, “You sold a candy bar for $20?” Ivana starts to answer him, leading with, “Look.” Carolyn tells her not to address George that way. She says that dropping her skirt was her decision alone, and in retrospect, she regrets it. Carolyn still looks disgusted and tells Ivana in no uncertain terms that what she was selling was not a candy bar. Trump sends the three of them out of the room, and he, Carolyn, and George all look livid.

George says that all three of them could have done better. As for Ivana, at least she tried something. Carolyn says she cannot respect the stripping. “This is someone who’s going to run one of your companies. Period.” Carolyn looks so mad about the whole thing that I get the impression that if Trump doesn’t fire Ivana over this, he can expect to find Carolyn’s letter of resignation on his desk tomorrow. Trump sends in the candidates.

Trump asks Ivana who she would fire. Ivana says that she’s worked more with Kevin and knows what a good leader he is, so she would fire Kelly. That’s not exactly a compelling argument. Kevin says that it’s hard to decide between Kelly and Ivana, but since Ivana has lost twice as project manager, he’d fire her. Ivana points out that she has lost twice, both at street tasks (the other was the ice cream challenge). Ooh, good point, Kevin. Trump seems to think so too, and asks Kevin and Kelly what their records are as project manager. Kevin has two wins and no losses, and Kelly has three wins and no losses. Things look pretty bad for Ivana.

Carolyn asks what Ivana has to say in her own defense, and Ivana makes the mistake of again leading with “look.” She then takes a completely off the wall strategy and says that she, Kevin, and Kelly all deserve to stay and makes a case instead for firing Jen. Wow, Ivana is a little bit obsessed with Jen, isn’t she? Trump tells Ivana that isn’t going to happen – Jen isn’t there.

Trump tells Ivana that she has a losing record. “So has Jen,” Ivana insists. That’s not true – Jen was the project manager of the dog task, and her team won. Trump asks Ivana how he can choose her over Kevin. Ivana says that she’s smarter and more creative. Kevin disagrees, and says that he got his MBA in one year and is now a student at the University of Chicago law school. Ivana dismisses that as just education. Trump asks Ivana if she can agree that Kevin is “very good.” She hesitates for a long time, then grudgingly agrees. She tries again to make a case for herself, and Trump says, “But you lose.” Ivana begs Trump to take a chance on her, and says that she makes a great team member. Well, that’s not exactly going to make him want to put you in charge is it?

Trump lays it on the line: “You stripped. I’m not hiring a stripper.” He adds that she made bad decisions. Then, Trump slaps the table, makes a gun with his fingers and says, “Ivana, you’re fired.” It is awesome. The candidates leave, and George and Carolyn agree that Trump had no choice.

This decision could not have been easier. How could Donald Trump possibly hire as CEO of one of his companies a woman who would take off her skirt in the middle of the street for twenty bucks? How would anyone respect her, ever?

As Ivana heads down to the street, you can very faintly hear some singing. Listen:

Oompa, loompa doompadi-dirt!
Here’s what happens when you take off your skirt
Oopma, loompa doompadi-dump!
You’ll be fired by Donald Trump

In Ivana’s cab ride home, she notes that Carolyn was probably the harshest with her. Yeah, and I don’t blame her. She says that she was actually wearing more clothing than Jen or Sandy and that she’s gone to the gym in less clothing. She says that the whole thing was a great experience.

Next week, the final four candidates face job interviews with Trump’s staff. In a final boardroom dog fight, two candidates will go home. Tune in for the last episode before the live finale. I’ll be there!

Betsy Wasser is the Associate Editor of Reality News Online. She thinks Ivana’s behavior in this episode deserves a Hall of Shame moment. Do you agree? Email Betsy at betsyw42@hotmail.com and let her know what you think.

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