The Apprentice 3, Episode 1: Have it Your Way

Over at Magna, Todd says that he also has restaurant experience, so he offers to lead. Danny volunteers to handle the marketing. Bren says in an interview that since Danny said he was good at marketing, he’d best prove it. Could that be foreshadowing? It’s hard to tell… it’s so subtle.

Trump Lesson of the Week: “Perseverance.” Don’t give up. Thus endeth the lesson.

Net Worth heads to Burger King. They quickly choose the Western Angus burger because they think it’ll be the easiest to market. Sounds like a plan.

Manga also meets with the chef. Verna proclaims herself to be a fast food enthusiast and says that the three cheese burger is a winner. It does look pretty darned good, I must say. Todd puts Danny and Stephanie in charge of marketing and sends them to Burger King headquarters to get started. He appoints Alex the restaurant manager. Verna and Erin will work the cash registers and start their training right away. Erin has a really hard time working the touch pad cash register, much to Verna’s disdain. George watches in the background and says that he once worked as a soda jerk, so he knows all about this kind of job. It’s fun to imagine an old timey George making malts, isn’t it? Meanwhile, Todd is sitting in a booth by himself while everyone else works. Alex approaches him and Todd says that he is “collecting his thoughts” and will be there if anyone needs him. Alex is not impressed.

Net Worth decides to make Wanted posters to promote their Western-themed sandwich. Brian says in an interview that he thinks John is doing a great job delegating. They decide to find some inexpensive cowboy costumes and to add a contest. Tana suggests a vacation to Las Vegas. Everyone loves the idea. Brian then heads with some teammates to buy the costumes and decorations. He says he once ran a dollar store, so he knows how to get the best prices. At the store, they get what they need, and Brian takes a shine to a plastic Viking helmet. He begs the store owner to throw in the Viking helmet for free. When he agrees, Brian triumphantly says, “Now that’s negotiating, baby!” Somewhere on VH1, Flavor Flav is pissed that Brian is stealing his look. Kristen thinks Brian is being ridiculous, a point that’s hard to argue with.

Meanwhile, for Magna, Danny and Stephanie meet with Russ, the Vice President of Product Development for Burger King. He asks what they’re going to name the three cheese burger. Danny says they’re not planning to use any kind of fancy name, and Russ looks underwhelmed. He asks who their target customer is. Danny says they really don’t have one in mind because they have a limited amount of time. It’s true, but it’s also kind of embarrassing – so far they have no name and no marketing plan. Stephanie feels unprepared and doesn’t like it. Their tagline is “Just Say Cheese,” which Russ says is okay.

Stephanie explains that they planned to set up a red carpet and have people take customers’ pictures, like paparazzi, but after the meeting, Danny wants to change tactics completely. He didn’t like Russ’s feedback and wants to start over. Stephanie throws out ideas, including “Three Ring Circus,” to go with the three cheese idea. Danny says that the circus idea is “rather dull,” which makes me wonder what kind of circuses poor Danny went to as a kid. Stephanie notes that Danny shoots down all of her ideas. Todd calls them to see how things are going and offers to help. Danny dodges his questions and hangs up the phone. Todd apparently fails to see this as a red flag, as he looks impotently at his phone.

Net Worth also meets with Russ. Russ seems to like the idea, provided they can actually afford the Vegas deal. They assure him they can, and Tana calls to set it up. She and Kristen go to pick up the tickets and are surprised to learn that the travel agency doesn’t have a storefront, but rather is some guy’s apartment. Kristen isn’t comfortable buying the tickets that way. Tana says that the place smells bad because of the travel agent’s dogs. The smell gets worse when one of the dogs actually pees on her. Outstanding!

I just realized that I’ve neglected to mention that Danny has, throughout the episode, been leading his team in yelling, “Unbelievable!” periodically. Maybe I’ve blocked it from my memory, because it is really annoying.

Speaking of Danny, he and Stephanie are still trying to come up with a plan. Danny says that he’s the “out of the box guy” and feels a lot of pressure to come up with something great. Finally, they land on “Triple Play,” just as Todd calls to ask what’s going on. Luckily, Todd loves the idea and the baseball theme.

Meanwhile, John calls the Burger King crew for a pep talk. He asks them how many of them have college diplomas. No one raises his hand, and John tells them that none of his people have college diplomas either. Everyone loves it. He says this is their chance to prove that they’re better than the people down the street with their fancy degrees.

Magna gets to work, and Erin tries rather ineffectually to sell the triple cheese burger to a customer. Alex says he felt confident in his team until he saw Danny’s promotional materials. Danny has set up on the street a box with a picture of the burger on it. There’s a hole cut in the box, and customers are supposed to throw a ball into the hole… why? I’m not sure? Alex says that it, “looks like some drunk hippies threw some stuff together,” and he’s right. Danny also, of course, has his guitar and is singing about the sandwich. Carolyn comes by and tells us, “This is sad.” How I’ve missed you in the past month, Carolyn. Kendra says in an interview that Todd should have seen Danny’s foibles and taken charge of the marketing.

Things look much better at Net Worth. The front of the restaurant is covered with signs advertising the new burger. One of the candidates is handing out flyers, and everyone is talking up both the sandwich and the Vegas contest. Inside, Tana works hard to convince a customer to try the new burger and succeeds. John says that the women were working the cash registers and were doing a great job selling the sandwich. Angie says in an interview that her team has an advantage in that they believe “nothing is beneath us.” Luckily, the team does not choose that as a slogan to counter “Unbelievable!”

At 12:30, Magna experiences a huge lunch rush. The trouble is, according to Alex, the cashiers can’t keep up with the demand. Erin has trouble working the cash registers. In an interview, Erin, who is apparently wearing a pink bath mat as a shirt, says something about not having enough trained cashiers, but it’s kind of hard to focus on what she’s saying, because did I mention that she’s wearing a pink bath mat as a shirt? Alex agrees that they don’t have enough cashiers and points out that because Todd opted to sit in a booth and think rather than get any training himself, he can’t really help them. A customer walks out of the restaurant, saying the service was too slow.