The Apprentice 3, Episode 2: Your Ass Doesn’t Know the Difference

At the other hotel, Tana asks the guests how their stay was and gets some pretty bad feedback. She offers them breakfast, figuring that maybe a full tummy will put them in a better mood when they fill out the surveys.

In Magna land, Danny tells Carolyn that Verna cracked under the pressure and left. Erin is shocked, because Verna never told anyone she was leaving – she just took off. Carolyn hops into her car and finds Verna wandering the streets aimlessly. Good solution! Carolyn walks with Verna and asks her how she’s doing and offers to listen if she needs to talk. Carolyn is awesome. Verna just silently walks with Carolyn, which is kind of creepy.

Erin isn’t too sympathetic. She figures Verna had an easy job. Bren says that the whole situation is stressful. Alex agrees, but to just quit really hurt the team. Bren tells them that Verna believed Michael was out to get her. Carolyn delivers Verna back to the motel. Verna says in an interview that she lost control of herself because she didn’t feel like she was in control of her team. She apologizes to Michael and says that if they lose, she’ll quit rather than having someone else get fired. I think that’s a fine idea, though probably irrelevant because if Magna loses, I don’t doubt Trump will fire her. Michael shares a quote from Martin Luther King about how the true measure of a person is how they act when they’re down, not when they’re up. That’s a nice sentiment, but probably not appropriate here, since we learned that when Verna is down, she quits.

Verna says in an interview that the people on her team are wonderful, and she can learn a lot from them. We’ll see how wonderful they are after a few more trips to the boardroom. Danny says in an interview that it took a lot of character for Verna to come back. Erin hugs Verna, but in an interview says that Verna blew the customer service for them and sabotaged the team. But once again, whatever Erin says is completely overshadowed. Her statements are in part overshadowed by the fact that last week, she was in tears at the idea of someone getting fired, so she’s not exactly cool under pressure either. And of course, she’s really overshadowed by whatever the hell it is she’s wearing. It seems to be a poncho with a print that reminds me very much of a manhole cover.

Boardroom. Trump is in a tuxedo and tells Danny that formalwear is actually overstepping things. Danny takes it well and says, “I’m paying attention.” Verna tells Trump that she’s used to pressure, but not to having no food or sleep. The rest of the team seemed to get just as little sleep as Verna did, and if she didn’t eat, whose fault is that? I’m just not feeling the sympathy. Trump congratulates her, though, for coming back.

Now for the results. We first see how the rooms are transformed. Both teams did a nice enough job, especially considering the time constraints and that they didn’t have Amy-Wynn Pastor to help them. Next, Carolyn and George read the evaluations, starting with Net Worth. The free newspaper was nice, the employees were good “but loud,” the carpeting was dirty, the rooms were a disaster, but they had the most beautiful toilets in the world. Except I made up that last part. Their score is 2.92 out of five. Next, Magna was a lot of fun, the staff was great, and the rooms were typical for a Jersey shore motel room. They scored 3.96 out of five. Magna wins!

I think Danny went a long way towards redeeming himself on this task. I think customer service was how Magna pulled ahead, because other than not having nasty carpeting, Magna’s rooms were no nicer than Net Worth’s, at least from what we saw. Customer service must have made the difference. Danny was part of the customer service team. The part, I might add, that didn’t check out midway through the task. More importantly, the party seems to have generated a lot of good will from the guests, and that was Danny’s idea. Well done this time around, I’d say.

Magna’s reward is a cruise on Steve Forbes’s yacht. The team meets Steve there and dines on champagne and lobster. Over dinner, he tells them that customer service is the key to success. Danny notices that Verna is still a little shaken up – she doesn’t eat much dinner and looks a little seasick. On the deck, the candidates look at the Statue of Liberty, and Kendra talks about how Steve Forbes symbolizes the opportunities that are available in America. Steve takes off in a helicopter before I can figure out how to make a joke about the flat tax. And just when we thought we could avoid it, Magna gives a chant of “Unbelievable!”

Did anyone else notice that all of the candidates seem to be wearing little pins? What’s up with that? Maybe they’re all pledging a fraternity.

In the suite, Net Worth talks about the upcoming boardroom. John tells Brian that if he blames others, he’s going to look foolish, since he was in charge. Brian says that’s not true – he did manage the team, by hiring contractors who would actually do what he said. His team didn’t cooperate and everyone refused to listen to him. Way to miss John’s point, Brian, because that’s exactly what John said would not impress Trump. The two of them argue some more, and John finally walks away. In an interview, he says that Brian has a really abrasive demeanor, and if the team ever needs to make a good impression on a client or vendor, Brian could scuttle them.