The Apprentice 3, Episode 3: Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

At Net Worth, Chris immediately suggests that they raffle off a cash prize. Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, Chris – we need a project manager first, and Angie volunteers for the job. She wants to capitalize on the “choice” in Taster’s Choice with an all-American, patriotic theme. “You have a choice,” she says. She’s picturing lots of red, white, and blue, a marching band, baton twirlers, and so on. The rest of the team likes the idea. In an interview, Tana says that she thinks Angie will do well as the leader if she can keep her cool. “The day of the task,” Tana says, “she’ll be my mother on Thanksgiving morning. She’ll be insane.” That is hilarious! Tana just gained some points in my book with that remark.

Meanwhile, at Magna, Stephanie is looking for an event planner that they can use to… um, plan their event. As she sends out requests for quotes, Michael is playing with a bunch of dry erase markers. Way to help the team, Michael! Stephanie is worried about how the even is going to go because they don’t have a focus yet. She ducks under the table to call an event planner. The price is $47,000 for everything.

Danny can’t decide if he wants to spend that much money on the event planner. Darren, the planner, says that they need to make a decision, soon, because he can’t hold that quote for too long. He decides to put it to a team vote. Most people seem to be voting yes. Stephanie says no, since they don’t even have an idea yet. Still, she’s outvoted. Danny gets Darren on the phone and says yes. Stephanie is still concerned about how the task is going to go because Danny is so “unorganized.”

At this point, things don’t look too good for Danny, since the Trump Lesson of the Week just told us that you shouldn’t try to lead by consensus. Should Danny go ahead and pack up his guitar and suitcase full of leisure suits? These are my thoughts as we go to commercial.

Break over, Magna is still trying to come up with a big idea. Finally, Bren says he’s noticed that lots of people in NewYork have iPods – maybe they could give those away. Alex likes the idea and says that iPods are so inexpensive that they could give one away every ten minutes. Everyone on the team thinks it’s a good idea… except Michael. Stephanie thinks Michael is not open to any ideas other than his own and calls him childish. She may have a point, because as the team figures out how they need to spend their remaining money, he’s sitting in a corner balancing a tray on his head. Danny says, “Mike, if you need a time out in the corner, let me know.” Michael keeps complaining about the idea until Danny finally tells him to stop talking about it. The two swear at each other for a while and Michael concludes by telling Danny not to cross him.

The next morning, Magna starts moving merchandise to the park where they’re holding the event. Michael is there, but he’s not actually doing any work. Danny yells at him to get off his butt and get to work, and Michael totally freaks out. He threatens to throw Danny out the window, or maybe just slap him. Bren can’t believe it. In an interview, he says that Michael totally overreacted. All Danny did was call him a name, and Michael threatened to hurt him. Bren’s feelings are perhaps even better illustrated by a drawing he has. It reads “Task Three” and features a lovely handbasket and an arrow pointing to hell. Enough said.

Hey, remember that other team? Turns out, Net Worth is still on this show, too! Their event in the park features lots of red white and blue balloons, performers dressed as Uncle Sam, free hot and cold coffee drinks, and a $10,000 giveaway. Chris is screaming at passersby on the street to register for the giveaway, but he’s more menacing and creepy than inviting. My favorite candidate John tells us that they’ve set up the event like a political rally, with people debating hot coffee versus cold coffee. As the event draws to an end, Angie says, “It was brilliant.” She’s happy because the entire team was passionate about the event.

At Magna, Danny says that the key to promoting the Taster’s Choice brand is to get people to stay at the event for as long as possible. To that end, they’re giving away iPods frequently so people will stick around for the drawings. Michael passes out flyers as Danny says in an interview that he stuck him with busywork. A quick pan around the event area shows the team passing out samples of coffee, a guy dressed as a coffee cup, and a mime. Well, who doesn’t love mimes? Michael says that there was nothing special about their event. I have to say, I tend to agree. It’s hard to see what the event planners pulled together for them. There are banners, Taster’s Choice flyers, free samples, and, of course, the mime. Is that really worth $47,000?

Everyone gathers to hear the results. Both Angie and Danny are confident that their teams will win. The Taster’s Choice execs tell us that Magna did a great job of delivering the message, but didn’t have a big, coherent idea. Net Worth, on the other hand, not only gave out samples, but took it to the next level by giving out both hot and cold coffee drinks. They also had a very creative idea. Net Worth wins.

As a perk for winning (pun totally intended), good times are brewing (another one intended, but don’t worry, I think I’m done). After all, Net Worth creamed the competition (hey, turns out I wasn’t done). The team will take a helicopter ride around the city. In the helicopter, the team admires the view. Chris says that it’s important that they all keep having fun. Angie toasts the team.

Back in the suite, Michael says he’s sick over the amount of money they blew for such unimpressive results. He thinks that, without question, Danny failed. Danny, on the other hand, thinks Michael slacked off on the task. Erin says in a very melodramatic interview, “Michael sat back on a comfortable golden bed of exemption and did nothing.” She thinks that by not working hard, Michael showed a real lack of integrity and thinks the team should tell Trump about it. I think she should leave out the part about the golden bed, though. I’ve seen Trump’s apartment, and he’s going to want a golden bed of his very own. Alex and Erin talk to the rest of Magna, and they agree that maybe Trump should make an exception to the exemption rule.

The team heads to the boardroom, and Trump asks Danny what went wrong. Danny says that first, he’d like to talk about Michael’s poor performance. With the exemption, Danny says, Trump gave Michael and gift, and Michael abused that gift. Trump argues that it wasn’t a gift, but that Michael earned it. Erin gives a long speech which basically boils down to, “There’s an exception to every rule.” She says that it’s Trump’s decision, but if she were in his place, she’d fire Michael. Because he didn’t perform, she believes he lacks integrity.

Trump asks whose idea it was to give almost $50,000 to the event planners. Stephanie says that she found the planner, and that they gave a great event. I can only assume that if that’s true, there was a lot we didn’t see on TV. Erin agrees that the planner was worth it, and that without them, they’d have had nothing. Stephanie says that Danny took too long to make decisions.

Trump asks Bren who was responsible for the team’s loss. Bren says that for the loss itself, Danny is responsible, but that he would fire Michael due to his lack of integrity. Erin maintains that they should fire Michael. Trump asks if Michael was so bad that he should violate his trust. Erin answers, “He violated your trust.”

George has a good question: if Michael was so bad, why didn’t Danny just jettison him? Danny says that he handled it “like a gentleman.” Apparently, a gentleman would call Michael names and otherwise just avoid the issue. George says that what Danny did was inadequate, and that he should have told Michael to get lost. Danny says he had to stay focused. Michael thinks that’s ridiculous and says that Danny was lost the entire time.