The Apprentice 3, Episode 8: Got MILF?

As always, the candidates are wondering who is about to get the axe. Tana thinks it’ll be Audrey, but Chris isn’t so sure – John was hit pretty hard in the boardroom. I guess nobody is worried about Angie or Craig. Tana says that without my boyfriend John, Net Worth is in serious trouble. Well, they need not worry – Angie, Craig, and John return to the suite. Chris gives John a big bear hug. In an interview, Chris says that John is like a big brother to him. John says that the team is much stronger now without Audrey. Even though they had a tough boardroom, there will be no hard feelings. The team is confident that they’ll win.

The next morning, Angie is once again the one to answer the Trump Phone. Rhona tells her to have both teams meet Trump in the boardroom, and to choose project managers who have not yet led. Kendra is the only member of Magna who hasn’t been project manager yet, so she takes the helm. She wonders if she should wear pants or a skirt, and we get an extended scene of her buttoning up her blouse. She says in an interview that she wants to prove her worth and to show that she’s not trying to fly under the radar. Her team, she says, will win.

Net Worth is trying to choose a project manager. Both Chris and Craig are candidates, since neither of them has been in charge yet. Angie says in an interview that Craig will be the first to complain about how things are going, yet never volunteers himself. Chris and Craig put their names in a hat, and Chris is the lucky winner.

The teams enter the boardroom, and Tana is sporting a huge flower from her cleavage. I manage to not be distracted by it for long enough to hear Trump say that the two teams are tied at five members each, and it’s time for a corporate restructure. He asks Kendra to eliminate two team members, so she sends Stephanie, then Erin over to Net Worth. Chris boots Tana and Craig.

With the new teams in place, Trump tells them about the challenge. The teams will auction of “an experience” with five different musicians in an 11 minute segment on the Fuse network. The auctions will raise money for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Whichever team raises the most money for the charity will win the task. Although Stephanie is now on Net Worth, because she was the winning project manager last week, she’s still exempt if her team loses.

The new teams greet and hug each other. Tana says that she’s happy to be on Magna with Craig and thinks that Chris will have a tough team to work with now that he’s stuck with the obnoxious Stephanie and Erin.

Net Worth’s musicians are Barenaked Ladies, Gene Simmons, New Found Glory, Simple Plan, and Fat Joe. Chris thinks that Erin and Stephanie should be the ones to close the negotiations, that they’ll have more success if the women ask for things. They agree, though, that John should come with them to negotiate. John says that having “hot chicks” will be a huge advantage for them. Uh-oh. My boyfriend and I are now fighting. Chris says that he and Angie will work on the production of the segment.

The entire Magna team heads over to Fuse. Their musicians are Lil’ Kim, Lil Jon, Moby, Eve, and Jadakiss. Kendra decides that she, Tana, and Craig will meet their first artist, Lil Jon, while Alex and Bren work on production.

My boyfriend John is pleased that he packed his trucker wallet with the big chain so that he doesn’t look like a suit in front of the musicians. He wants to look cool, and figures that the fact that he’s a drummer will help them. In the cab ride to meet New Found Glory, he suggests that the ultimate experience to auction off would be to have the band play at the bidder’s house. Stephanie suggests the opportunity to be an extra in their next video. John blows off the idea and suggests that Erin and Stephanie act giggly and dumb in front of the musicians. Ooh, bad idea, Boyfriend John. I think we should see other people. Stephanie says in an interview that John does not respect women.

It’s time for the Trump Lesson of the Week! This week’s lesson: “Go Big or Go Home.” Trump says that in business, you might as well aim high, or don’t even bother. He cites himself as an ideal client to aim for. And now for the Betsy Lesson of the Week. Every January when you buy a new calendar, take the previous year’s calendar and mark down any birthdays or anniversaries in the new one.

Kendra, Tana, and Craig meet Lil Jon. Tana proves herself to be the whitest woman in American (more than me, and that’s an accomplishment) when she attempts to talk in hip hop slang to Lil Jon. Carolyn about dies laughing watching it happen. Kendra admires Lil Jon’s diamond encrusted “Crunk Cup.” Classy! Craig suggests that the prize be the opportunity to be the bearer of the crunk cup for a day, meet Lil Jon, and appear in one of his videos. Lil Jon likes the idea. Tana says in an interview that she “was down with them,” and that she had fun with it. Kendra thinks that Tana and Craig are doing a great job, so she leaves them to do the negotiating while she rejoins Bren and Alex in the studio. There, Bren says that Craig and Tana will be the on-air talent. He suggests labeling Tana as a “MILF,” (that’s Mom I’d Like To… naughty word, for those of you who didn’t see American Pie) then says that he means it ironically. Hey, she’s not so bad! She’s a little dorky, but in a cute way. Kendra cracks me up by replying, “Okay, just no cucumber.

Over at Net Worth, Chris and Angie look at photos of potential sets. They both love the idea of having it look like a backstage area, since that’s the kind of experience they’re offering. Meanwhile, the rest of the team meets with New Found Glory. Erin tries to talk to the band, but John repeatedly interrupts her. Stephanie and Erin are both pretty mad about it. John suggests the play a gig at someone’s house idea, and George, looking on, is not impressed. He says that he teaches classes in negotiation, and to be successful, you need to start out big. John jokingly offers to sell Erin and Stephanie to New Found Glory, which causes yet another rift in our relationship. I don’t know if John has started seeing other people yet, but I’m sure going to.