The Apprentice 3, Episode 8: Got MILF?

Chris calls the team and asks them to try to get the musicians to appear on the show, which is a really good idea. The team meets Barenaked Ladies, and John continues to interrupt Erin. I wonder why Erin didn’t kick his ass for interrupting her before. He pitches the same idea of playing a private concert to them. Tyler, the drummer, says he’ll do it, and John talks about how much he misses playing his drums. Tyler does not look impressed.

Meanwhile, in Magna Land, Tana calls Kendra to say that they’re going to ask Eve to auction off an appearance on her show, along with several other Eve experiences, like lunch. Kendra thinks it’s a great idea, then tells us in an interview that Tana and Craig are going to run all of their plans by her first. They pitch the idea to Eve, who loves it. Next, Tana and Craig meet Jadakiss. Tana wonders aloud to Craig if they should go ahead and ask him for their biggest idea. What the heck! They’ll try it – a trip around the world with Jadakiss. Jadakiss declares, “That’s cool,” and agrees to it. Wow, that’s a good prize. Tana is rocking this. Next, they meet Lil’ Kim, and the two suggest a week on the road with her as the prize. Tana adds, “I know someone would really diggity that.” Despite Tana’s crazy slang, Lil’ Kim agrees to the idea. In an interview, an excited Tana says that she’s busting out all of the techniques she learned selling Mary Kay, and that if she could see makeup to men, she can definitely do this. Tana is really impressing me this week. Finally, the two of them meet with Moby, who is far more sedate than the other musicians they’ve talked to. Tana says in an interview, “This was like black and white – literally!” Moby agrees to donate a week on tour with him, plus the opportunity to appear on stage with him and play a set.

John, Erin, and Stephanie are on their way to meet with Gene Simmons, and John says that he’s going to put on his pimp hat once again to sell the women. Erin doesn’t much appreciate John referring to himself as their pimp, but she’s letting it go for now because she doesn’t want to argue in the middle of a task. You guys, I think maybe I should break up with him. They meet Gene Simmons, and John leads by telling him a story about how much he loved KISS as a kid. Gene is not moved by the anecdote. Gene muses, “What do I like, what do all men like?” Erin wins me over a little bit more by saying, “Football! Just kidding.” Gene says that, of course, he loves women. Stephanie starts to ask what he loves to do with women, then thinks better of it. In an interview, John calls Stephanie a fluffer, and says that was what she was really good at. At with that, I break up with him. Several people thought that last week, John was disrespectful to women. I thought that he was disrespectful to Audrey, which I had no problem with. But it seems like it wasn’t just her. He and I are through. Anyway, John suggests that Gene give away an invitation to his CD release party. Gene asks if that’s big enough, saying that he has a big ego and wants his auction to sell for the most. John thinks it will, simply because it’s Gene. Not good, John – he gave you an opening to go for more, and you didn’t do it.

Next, Erin, Stephanie, and my ex-boyfriend John meet with Fat Joe. John continues his trend of interrupting the women and talking about himself. Finally, they meet with Simple Plan and John trots out the play at a party idea. The band asks if that’s a unique prize. It’s totally not, since that seems to be what John suggested for just about everybody else, but instead he says that they’d be happy with just anything. Well, if you’re aiming low, maybe they could just give you a t-shirt. We are so broken up. Stephanie says in an interview that all of John’s ideas for experiences to auction off were boring.

Magna gets ready for their segment. Tana gets all dolled up and declares, “I’ll tell you one thing, I’m a MILF in Iowa.” She then translates MILF as “Mom I’d Like to Fool Around With,” which is an adorable PG-rated version of the truth. She and Craig go on the air, and they repeatedly flash MILF with an arrow pointing to Tana. Tana continues to try out that newfangled slang the kids are all using. Trump watches the whole thing on TV, and in masterful understatement, says, “Tana has changed drastically.” He admires her effort, though, because this is not her world and she’s doing her best. Indeed, Tana is absolutely adorable and seems to be performing well. In the control room, Kendra says that the week long experiences are selling really well. She’s not sure if they’re going to win, but she’s hopeful.

Erin and Chris will appear on the air for Net Worth. Erin says she’s not worried at all about handling herself on TV, and just as I start to think about how terrible Erin was on QVC last season, Erin shows that she’s relaxed and comfortable on screen. Trump watches and comments that she’s really good. Tyler from Barenaked Ladies appears on the show, then Gene Simmons comes out. Angie thinks that the show went really well.

Trump, George, and Carolyn arrive at the studio to give out the results. George reports that Net Worth raised $11,325. Carolyn reveals that a couple of Magna’s auctions had really low bids, but the Moby and Lil’ Kim packages sold for over $19,000. Magna raised a total of $21,654 and wins big. Trump congratulates both teams and tells them that raising so much money for charity is reward enough. It’s a reward for the viewers too, since the reward segments of the show are almost always boring.

Back in the suite, John says that so far, the firings on his team have been totally justified. He tells Erin and Stephanie that he knows he’ll be at risk, since the packages were all his ideas. Erin says in an interview that since John is a musician, he should have done a much better job of negotiating with other musicians. Chris and John talk alone. They agree that the women will gang up on John. John says in an interview that Trump will either fire him, the guy who came up with all of the ideas, or Chris, who he says contributed nothing. John adds that he’s been a leader. He thinks that firing either him or Chris would be a loss to the team. In an interview, Angie says that Chris and John have an interesting dynamic since they’re so close. She thinks it’s possible that Chris will sacrifice himself to save John. Chris says in an interview that he and John have agreed that although they’re friends, if they have to, they’ll go after each other.