The Ashlee Simpson Show, Season 2, Episode 9: Say It With Animals

Previously on Ashlee: Ashlee paid a visit to Dr. Sugarman to talk about her voice. She’s kind of frustrated that she hasn’t had time to rest. Ashlee went to Europe for a press tour, appearing on TRL and Top of the Pops. Her album sales went up in Europe while she was there.

Ryan brings Ashlee a present at her house - a puppy. Not only has he brought her a dog the same way Nick brought Jessica a dog, but it looks like the same kind of dog. Oh, Ryan. He says that he’s been calling her Dog Without a Name. Ashlee thinks she’ll call her Blondie, since she likes Deborah Harry. She says that Ryan’s done something so nice for her that she’ll never be able to fight with him again. Ryan is happy about this. Steph asks if Ashlee is actually going to clean up after the dog. Ryan thinks he’ll wind up with that job. Ashlee says that it’ll be fun to take Blondie on tour with her. This is the sweetest thing Ryan has ever done for her. Ryan calls Blondie his “little ticket out of trouble.”

Ashlee and Steph go to work out with a trainer they’ll work with on tour. Ashlee wants to make sure that she doesn’t get tired while spending an hour onstage. The girls jump rope, lift weights, and do other activities. Ashlee says that she’s already in good shape, but she wants to be in better shape. After the session, Ashlee and Steph go to a fitness equipment store and look at treadmills. Ashlee wants to be able to work out on her days off from the trainer.

Tina is at Ashlee’s house when the treadmill is delivered. She asks where Ashlee’s going to put it, but Ashlee isn’t sure. Tina gets frustrated when Ashlee can’t decide; she points out that it’s not a huge decision. Ashlee puts it in her room, facing the closet, and says that she can get inspired by her clothes. She then quietly asks her mother for $130 to give the delivery guys. Tina says that she wasn’t very prepared.

Ashlee prepares for a meeting about her tour, which her parents will be attending at her house. Ashlee tells Tina that she can’t yell at her about how messy the house is, promising that she’ll get around to cleaning it. Tina does some dusting. Ashlee says that even though they don’t always get along, she appreciates all her parents have done for her. The Simpsons meet with Fatima and Colleen, who help Ashlee figure out how her stage will look.

Ashlee has a session with a vocal coach named Ron Anderson, who was recommended by Dr. Sugarman. Afterwards, she thinks her voice will be strong and ready for her tour.

Ashlee and her band get ready to play hockey. She’s brought Blondie, for some reason. Oh, she’s one of those people who takes her dog everywhere. (No offense to anyone who does that. I’m not being snotty. I just think it’s weird.) Ashlee has never played hockey, but she feels secure in all of her padding. Before the game, she and her gals get a huge pizza. The pieces are so big that they don’t fit on their paper plates. The girls are nervous about losing the game. Stephanie can’t say “coordinated.” From what we’ve seen of her, I’m not surprised.

It’s game time. Stephanie can’t skate. We see her and Ashlee falling down a lot. Stephanie asks a band member, Braxton, if he ever played hockey in Alaska. He gives her a confused look and she corrects herself, saying she meant Hawaii (I guess that’s where he’s from). Her excuse is that he looks Alaskan. Oh, wacky Stephanie.

Ashlee and Steph go to a pet store and buy a hamster for Ryan. The pet store people put the hamster in the tiniest box ever. Ashlee and Steph go next to their car in the parking lot to assemble the hamster’s cage. Ashlee’s not too thrilled to have to touch the hamster. The girls have problems assembling the cage, and Ashlee suggests that they go get another one. He says that Ryan better like “the rat.” She wonders how he’ll react. Steph asks what Ashlee will say when she gives it to him, but Ashlee doesn’t know. Steph suggests just handing it to him.

Ashlee and Steph go to Ryan’s trailer somewhere and show the hamster to someone. Ryan arrives and asks what the hamster is. “Baby, what have you done?” he asks Ashlee. He wonders if the hamster is food for Blondie. Ashlee says it’s for him and he replies, “Why?” Steph says they also got him Hamsters for Dummies. Steph cracks me up. Ryan starts to bond with the hamster and Ashlee asks if he’s kissing it. Ryan says that she can’t give him something and then get mad when he likes it.

Ashlee says that it’ll be interesting to see what happens with her and Ryan. She’ll always care for him, no matter what happens. We see a montage of Ashlee/Ryan scenes. Is he dying or something? That was weird.

Next week, on the finale: Ashlee sees the stage for her tour and gets ready to run through her set. She’s overwhelmed by everything she has to do. The sound guys have trouble getting the mix right in her earpieces. Ashlee heads to the stage for her first show.

Jenn Brasler is an aspiring writer from Falls Church, VA. You can e-mail her atluckyjenn@hotmail.com . She’s trying to decide whether to use her powers for good… or evil. She will write for money. Or candy. Or clothes from Old Navy.

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