The Apprentice 3 Corner Office/Mailroom, Episode 9: Torn Between Two Whiners

Bob the Builder does The Apprentice! As a lover of TLC do-it-yourself shows and as someone who never has time (or guts) to take any of those "do-it-yourself" classes at Home Depot, I was excited about this task. Each team has to create a class and teach numbskulls like me to do something handy. Very cool. How did everyone shape up? Who got sent to the bowels of company hell, the mailroom?

Magna: I have never been a big Craig fan. He hung back too much in my opinion. He was pretty negative a lot of the time, but that was in his Net Worth days. Since then, he's come into his own, it seems. I'm still not a big fan, and his people skills suck, but he did a great job this week. Gotta give the man the office with the floor-to-ceiling windows and the view to sell your 401K for. He's earned it.

Interestingly enough, Tana was kind of a whiner this episode. Homegirl (we're both Iowans) has been stellar every time, even when she was getting on my nerves early on. So, what's with the 'tude all of a sudden? It wasn't a good look on her. She whined and complained with Kendra about Craig's bad leadership, bad idea, etc. She was right about the leadership part, but it was the way she went about it. It seemed so... catty. Kendra was similarly guilty, but at least she admitted she was wrong. [I'll admit that there may be a similar sentiment in the outtakes somewhere from Tana; I'm just going on what we saw.] Then again, Kendra didn't seem as gossipy about it.

Guys, I'm torn. On the one hand, Tana was a whiner, and y'all know how much I hate whiners. Then again, she did give 100% to the task. Then there's Kendra, who didn't seem to do much, but didn't have the whiny tone Tana had. Okay, executive decision time. Tana's work ethic has spared her the mailroom, although she was thisclose. Kendra will have to lick the stamps all by her lonesome.

Some of you are no doubt asking, "But Mel, what about Alex and Bren?" They were naysayers, too, but I guess I just liked their style better. They were funny about it, not whiny. And Alex did a great job; who knew he could habla espanol? Now that I'm thinking about it, Bren's commentary was a riot, but what did he actually do? Nope, Kendra will not lick 'em and stick'em alone; Bren can help.

Net Worth: I was so sure (and hopeful) that Angie's time had come. She grates on me like nobody's business. But seriously, was there one person on Net Worth with any skills? Either selling, building, or teaching? They were such a disaster, every last one of them. Angie picked a project that was too hard to teach and didn't make it a hands-on presentation. Chris couldn't get the pieces right-side-up. Stephanie... Stephanie... was she even there? I would give it to Stephanie, but she wasn't in the same category of awfulness as Erin and Angie.

Erin was all right with getting the crowd at the Depot, but then she blew it and blew it BIG. Carolyn (and I) never liked her, but it was clear The Donald thought she was wonderful. You have to be supremely terrible to get fired with such an advantage. And I blame Erin for Angie still being there. Had Erin not been a big boob, Angie and her tri-colored hair might be gone now. Erin has to have mailroom duty for her utter failure in the face despite being the Favored One. Angie also has to sort mail for the whole Home Depot fiasco.

What about Chris? Chris is a ticking time bomb. Actually, he'd be interesting on The Amazing Race, teamed with, say Colin or Jonathan. He is volatile and he couldn't figure out right-side up, but to be honest, he is the living definition of "going postal." I can't afford that liability.

No one from Net Worth deserves the corner officer this week. Too many issues in too many areas. I considered giving it to Stephanie by default, for being the least sucky of the group, but the corner office is supposed to reward effort, but the lack of suckitude. Nope, the Net Worth office will remain empty this week.

Here's the tally after Week 9:

What's the most current tally?

Magna:

Corner Office: Kendra (3), Darren (event planner, Week 3) (1), Alex (1), Tana (2), Craig (2)

Mailroom: Kendra (1), Bren (2), Danny (2), Michael (4), "the Actress" (1)

Net Worth:

Corner Office: John (3), Angie (1), Erin (1)

Mailroom: Kristen (3), Chris (1), Audrey (2), John (3), Tara (1), Stephanie (1), Angie (1), Erin (1)

Mel Ellis is a prosecutor and loves a good debate. Feel free to email her with your thoughts on who should be or should have been mail clerks or apprentice CEO's. You can reach Mel at melzreality@yahoo.com.

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