The Apprentice 4, Episode 2: Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car

Before I launch into the recap, I’d like to thank all of you who wrote to me wishing me the best with my new TV boyfriend Josh, especially in light of how Season 3’s TV boyfriend John disappointed me so much. I really appreciate all of your support in my imaginary relationships. It means almost as much to me as if this were all real – honestly! Anyway, my new boyfriend Josh and I will have to have you all over for dinner sometime.

The candidates, as always, are speculating as to who will make it back. The general consensus is that Melissa will be fired. Chris says that the men would prefer that Kristi get fired, since she’s tougher competition than Melissa. He wants the women’s team to be weak. No such luck for Chris- Kristi returns to great cheers. She says in an interview that she was really scared she’d get fired, and that as tense as the Boardroom was before, it was even worse when it was down to her and Melissa. Her team wants details, but Kristi says, “I’m done talkin’ about it.”

The next day, Trump welcomes the candidates to his latest luxury building, Trump Park Avenue. He says that just a year ago, it was under construction – in fact, it’s the building where, in Apprentice history, Omarosa got hit in the head with the piece of plaster that we’re all now in love with. Trump adds that to hear her talk about it, you’d think it was a brick. Everyone laughs. If Omarosa won’t be so kind as to get off of my television, then at least I’m happy to see people laugh at her.

Trump says that this week’s task will center around a luxurious car, the Lamborghini. Teams are charged with creating a 30 second ad and a print campaign for the car. They have access to two cars and a team of people from an ad agency who will help them put their pieces together. Judging the task will be Linda from the agency and Aaron from Lamborghini. The most original idea will win, and Trump adds that Markus is not exempt, so no one is safe.

The men immediately start tempting fate by talking about how they have this one in the bag. Markus says that he sells cars, so he knows they can do this. And in an interview, Mark says that because their men and have always dreamed of sports cars like this, they’re bound to win. Poor Mark has forgotten how much reality show editors love irony.

Chris tells the team that he works in advertising, so he volunteers to be the project manager. He says that the first thing they need to do is meet with the client and the ad agency, obviously learning from the mistakes of past candidates. He directs his team to come into the meeting with no preconceptions at all – no commercials, no slogans, nothing. After all, they don’t know what the client wants. Two seconds later, Markus tells Chris that he has a “winning slogan.” Oh, Markus. He suggests that he tell them about it in the meeting. Chris looks incredulous, but very nicely asks Markus to tell it to him now so he’s not surprised. The slogan? “Smooth as silk.” Eh. I’d say that’s “Dull as dishwater.” Chris diplomatically tells Markus not to mention it in the meeting, but instead to wait and see what the candidate has to say.

Well, this is going to go just fine.

In the meeting, Aaron tells the men that Lamborghini is going through a period of regrowth, and that one model in particular is selling very well. Markus, ignoring what Chris said before, asks Aaron if they’d have any interest in his “smooth as silk” concept. Aaron flatly tells him no. Chris is livid that Markus went against what he said and tells us, “It’s a prime example of why he’s a weak player.

Meanwhile, at Capital Edge, Marshawn is the project manager. She figures since Alla is a multi-millionaire, she’d have a good handle on what a Lamborghini customer might like, so she puts her in charge of the videography. Alla admits that she has no experience in this sort of thing, but she’s confident she can pull it off. As she directs the cameraman, she says in an interview that because she acted professional, she got results. Well, she certainly sounds like she knows what she’s doing. Kristi is not impressed with Marshawn. Marshawn, Kristi says, just sat back and watched while the rest of the team did all of the work. Kristi says that it would be “such bullcrap” if they won and Marshawn got all of the glory. Language, Kristi!

It’s time for the Trump Lesson of the Week. This week’s TLOTW is “Be flexible.” Trump over-explains that if you can’t adapt, you won’t be successful. The Betsy Lesson of the Week is, “Don’t read the titles to these episodes if you don’t want the ending ruined for you.” Once I saw the title of this episode, I didn’t have much trouble figuring out which team was going to lose, which was kind of disappointing. And no, I’m not about to tell you right now what it is because the last thing I want is for you to quit reading my recap and get back to work. That would be crazy!

Excel is ready to film their commercial. They rented a vintage Lamborghini, and the idea is to show it driving down the street, then morphing into the new model. That sounds cool. The problem is that they can’t stop traffic on the street to film, as much as my boyfriend Josh would like to. Hi, Josh! Markus gets a walkie-talkie and volunteers to coordinate traffic. Chris says in an interview that seemed like a good task for Markus because, “How hard could it be?” Again, the men are giving those irony loving editors a great time this week. Markus attempts to direct the cars, and confusion ensues.

My boyfriend Josh is fed up. In an interview, he says that Markus is the weakest player, so much that instead of helping his team, he seems to be helping the women. He adds that there seems to be a “synapse disconnect with his brain.” Markus continues to confuse things with the traffic coordination, culminating in his wandering into the shot. Chris takes the walkie-talkie away and tells the driver not to listen to Markus anymore. Chris says that at this point, Markus has nothing to do on the task. In an interview, he wonders how Markus could run one of Trump’s companies if he can’t even direct traffic. He says that he can’t trust his fate as project manager to Markus.