The Apprentice 4, Episode 6: Friggin’ Slaughter

Capital Edge’s golf course also looks great. Alla explains that they have three stations – Fashion, Function, and Family Fun – a putting course for kids. Clay bickers with Felisha and Alla about where to put some of the merchandise. In an interview, Randal says that Alla is discovering what he’s known for quite some time, which is that Clay is hard to work with. I wish we saw more of Randal, because he seems incredibly sharp. Clay pulls Alla aside and says that he is not happy. She put him in charge of merchandising, but now he’s finding that his displays are changed. Alla says in an interview that Clay is like a little kid, always pounding his chest and wanting his way. She says, “Clay is not a man. He’s an insecure, bitchy woman times a thousand.” Wow, did Clay get a whole bitch suit to go with his bitch coat? And if so, where can I buy one? Alla says that if by some chance they lose, she will bring Clay to the boardroom for sure. Clay continues to argue with her, to which Alla simply responds, “Cut it.”

Excel’s event is packed with kids in the batting cage. James watches and gives them tips on how to improve. Josh feels great about the crowd they’ve drawn. Bill arrives to take it all in and watches as Randal sells a bat to a guy who looks like Michael Moore. Brian and Rebecca are not so happy about the batting cage and think it’s taking attention away from sales. Bill must be thinking the same thing. He talks to Mark, who is busy feeding balls into the batting cage at Dick’s. Feel free to take a moment to giggle about that last sentence. I’ll wait. Anyway, Bill aks Mark how the team is doing. Mark admits that he’s so focused on working the batting cage and coaching the kids that he has no idea. Meanwhile, Brian notices that Jen is busy hawking lemonade, hot dogs, and pretzels, rather than selling those $150 radar guns or $300 batting cages. In an interview, Bill says that Excel is not focused on sales. They’re doing a great job of teaching kids how to play baseball, but that’s not what it’s about. “It’s not about batting practice,” Bill sighs.

At Capital Edge, Felisha greets customers as they enter the fairway. Adam and Alla then meet them in the apparel department, and customers go through the rest of the merchandise. Markus attempts to sell some new golf clubs to Carolyn, who laughs because she works in golf. She asks him if anyone on the team actually plays golf, and he admits that they don’t. Carolyn says in an interview that the team is certainly winging it, but they have spirit. Alla explains in an interview that the event is set up such that kids can play on the putting green while their parents shop, which is a great idea. Clay is selling merchandise like a maniac, a fact that even Alla admits. She says that it is “one of his few talents.” At the end of the day, Alla feels calm and is hopeful that her team’s numbers will be better.

The teams gather in the Boardroom, and Carolyn gets Trump on the phone. Capital Edge, she reports, increased sales by 74%. Sweet Yoda in the swamp, that is incredible! Trump is impressed, too. Bill says that Excel’s batting cage drew a big crowd, but there was too much coaching and not enough selling. Not only did they not increase sales, they actually showed a 34% decrease. Ouch. Trump calls the loss “embarrassing.” The team quickly grants Alla an exemption, which I think she deserves. Trump says that their reward will be to fly on a private jet to East Hampton for sport fishing and a lobster bake. That is an awesome reward and a big contrast from the pathetic rewards Martha Stewart is giving out. She’d probably let them each choose a golf ball or something.

Captial Edge flies on the jet to their reward. Felisha can’t believe the “slaughter” they gave the other team, a 111% difference. They go on a boat for the deep sea fishing, and Randal is not having fun at first. Adam, on the other hand, is having a blast, thrilled that he’s learned something as valuable as deep sea fishing on this job interview. Clay loves the reward, but loves even more that he can now say, “Josh, in your face,” for sending him to the other team. After the fishing is over, Capital Edge goes to a big bonfire, complete with a raw bar and some beautiful lobsters. Markus has a bottle of champagne and blathers on about how he’s going to saber it open, he knows wine, blah, blah, just shut up and open it already. After several failed attempts, he finally gets the cork out, along with much of the champagne. In an interview, Alla says that Markus is a nice guy “with very little ability to perform.” She simply laughs at his antics because “he is ridiculous.”

Josh and Mark go out for a drink and a talk. Mark says that James had offered to float from place to place closing sales and didn’t end up doing it. Josh isn’t interested in going after James, focusing instead on Jen, who should have been a better seller. Mark cautions him against going after only Jen – if Trump doesn’t agree with Josh’s argument, he has no other option but to fire Josh.

Mark says that their loss was “an ass-kicking of exponential proportions.” Josh can’t believe that he lost to the other team, a group of people he obviously doesn’t have much respect for. Okay, they might have Markus, but they also have Alla, Marshawn, and Randal, all of whom seem really strong. But Josh is upset, so I’m letting it go. He thinks the whole team shares accountability for the loss. They rowed together, but they might not have been going in the right direction or even been in the right kind of boat. Mark says he’s worried about the Boardroom. Josh says he’s not bringing him back, so Mark has no cause for concern. Somewhere, the Irony Fairy stirs in her sleep.

The team goes to the Boardroom, where Trump immediately derides them for the “worst defeat ever.” Josh says they lost because of sales. Trump asks whose idea baseball was, and James admits that it was his. Trump says he’s a great baseball player, but that sure didn’t help them on this task. Rebecca thinks that the batting cage was a draw, but that it hurt them because customers couldn’t get to the merchandise. James admits that this, too, was his idea.

Trump says that James was too focused on coaching the kids to sell. Mark agrees that they had a captive audience that they should have sold to. Bill tells Mark that his being in the batting cage the whole time was a waste of him as a potential seller. Carolyn agrees. She also thinks the food might have been a distraction. Jen denies this, which is funny, given how much time we saw her hawking that food. Marshawn says that the food did take money away from the event. $3 spent on a hot dog could have been spent on a bat.

Jennifer says that Josh didn’t give her any direction during the event. Bill asks Jennifer why, if she’s such a selling star, she didn’t do better. Jennifer says that the concept changed from the selling stations at the bases, so it was harder to sell. Bill is incredulous. They had that line of people there and should have been able to convert those browsers to buyers. Who had responsibility for sales? Josh says it was primarily Jen, but that all of them should have been selling. He blames her for the loss.

Jennifer says she is a great salesperson if she’s in an environment where she can work. Marshawn says that she is not a salesperson, but she managed to sell more than superseller Jennifer did, as did Rebecca. Bill commends them for their efforts. Jennifer says that Josh had no plan, and that she asked him for what she needed to sell, and he didn’t give it to her. Josh looks a little stunned and says that she’s lying. He thinks Jennifer should have taken the lead in selling and gotten the rest of the team with her. Other than Mark, Jennifer sold the least. Marshawn sold the most.