The Apprentice 5, Episode 1: What’s the Big Deal?

We begin the fifth season of The Apprentice by seeing several candidates talking about their qualifications. A redheaded woman does yoga and talks about being “totally self-made.” Another woman says that her background in athletics gives her the drive to win. One woman’s Filipino mother is her inspiration. A man who owns a building company says that he is “a lot like Donald Trump.” I remember last season, Markus said the same thing.

Trump speeds down the road in a gorgeous silver Mercedes. He tells us that he’s always looking for new talent. His plane takes off for New York, where he’ll be meeting 18 new candidates, selected from over a million applicants. These candidates will have to push themselves through a grueling interview process.

We meet a few more candidates. One is a guy who grew up in public housing and has a will to succeed. A woman brags that she is “tough as nails.” A guy with a British accent says that the job is “a done deal for me.”

Trump says that all of the candidates have exceptional skills, but only one will get the dream job of a lifetime. Who will be the next Apprentice?

With that, it’s time for everyone to dance in their sofas to the theme song. Don’t pretend you don’t do it.

Trump’s plane lands, and George and Carolyn lead the candidates into the plane for a meeting. Trump talks on his pretend phone about how he’s about to meet with the candidates. They all nervously agree that this is the best way to travel. Trump tells them that perhaps someday, they’ll have planes like his. Well, presumably, they’d want to plaster their own names on the sides, but you never know.

In an interview, Tarek, who bears a striking resemblance to Orlando Bloom, says that this was a reminder of what they’re all working for and might achieve.

It’s windy outside the plane, and Trump jokes that this proves he has real hair. No, it proves that if it’s fake hair, he has really good glue. He introduces George and Carolyn, and as we all know by now, they are his eyes and ears. Trump directs the candidates to introduce themselves. There are too many quick notes to go through, but you can meet all of the candidates in my preview article. Trump says that they all have impressive accomplishments, so this will be a tough competition.

Now it’s time to put together the teams. Trump says that Tarek, who we learned is a member of MENSA, has an IQ second only to Trump’s own (I think we can assume he’s kidding). Tarek will be one of the first project managers. The second will be Allie, because Trump respects her degree from Harvard Business School, second, he says, only to his own alma matter, the Wharton School. So really, Trump would prefer to make himself the project manager, but will settle for Tarek and Allie. He’s a modest one, our Trump.

Allie is given the first pick, and she admits in an interview that it caught her a little off guard. She chooses Tammy and ignores Trump’s suggestion that she chose a woman first, saying that she was impressed by her credentials. Tarek selects Dan because he’s a father. Allie picks Andrea next, and Tarek is disappointed- he was impressed by the fact that Andrea owns several businesses and wanted her for his team. The picks go on, and Allie jokes that Sean’s fabulous British accent might be fake. In an interview, she says that Sean has a great presence about him. During the show, Jenn Brassler emailed me claiming Sean as her Apprentice boyfriend. Let’s just see which one of us gets her Apprentice article posted first, Brassler. Ah, being the recapper has its advantages! Brent is the last one picked, for Allies team. In an interview, he says he was always picked last for sports teams. It didn’t bother him much then and it doesn’t bother him much now.

Trump tells them that their task will combine “aviation and advertising.” Specifically, each team will be given a Goodyear blimp to advertise memberships at Sam’s Club. The team that sells the most memberships or upgraded memberships will win. Someone on the losing team will – that’s right- be fired.

Allie is pleased to be project manager, but admits that she would have liked a little more time to assess her team. It puts her out there a little faster than she would have liked. She tells her team that she thinks they are the nine best ones. That team, by the way, is Allie, Sean, Tammy, Pepi, Andrea, Roxanne, Brent, Stacy, and Michael. Pepi suggests they get right to work choosing a name. Brent suggests Killer Instinct. They all hate it. Sean says that this gave him an immediate negative opinion of Brent. He thinks Brent has a very awkward way of presenting his ideas. Pepi suggests Synergy, and it’s a hit. Everyone applauds.

Tarek leads his team in a general brainstorming session that he says will lead to specific plans to be executed. He says that being a MENSA member allows him to think quickly on his feet. His team consists of Dan, Bryce, Charmaine, Leslie, Theresa, Lee, Summer, and Lenny. Tarek suggests Gold Rush for their team name, and with little discussion, they go for it. That was simple enough.

Summer says that she is a small business owner, just the target audience for Sam’s. She actually has a membership and thinks she has a good understanding of how to sell the concept. Lenny actually lives in East Brunswick, New Jersey, the area where their store is. He thinks that will be a real advantage.