The Apprentice 5, Episode 5: Crusin’ for a Bruisin’

Gold Rush makes dinner while Synergy is in the Boardroom. They figure they might as well go ahead and eat, because the deliberations will probably take a while. Lee says that Brent is a huge help to their team. Tarek hopes Brent isn’t the one fired for just that reason. Charmaine thinks he’ll make it again this week. Meanwhile, we watch Trump fire Brent. Sorry, Gold Rush!

The rest of Synergy returns to the suite, sans Brent. Tarek and Dan look positively goggle-eyed that Brent is gone. In an interview, Tammy says she was ecstatic when Brent got fired. Lenny tells the other team that Brent got on his nerves, too. And best of all, we end the scene with a shot of a pile of bagels, just like the giant bagel pile we watched Brent eat for a snack. It wasn’t exactly a subtle shot, but it made me laugh.

As you’ll recall, in the Boardroom last week, Roxanne said that Tammy was a better Project Manager than Andrea. Well, Andrea is smarting over that and immediately confronts Roxanne about it. Roxanne says that she didn’t say Andrea was bad, just that Tammy was better. Andrea thinks the entire thing was unnecessary and Roxanne shouldn’t have said anything. Roxanne says what we’re all thinking – “He asked me.” She’s right. Donald Trump asked her directly if Tammy was better than Andrea. Roxanne explains to Andrea that Tammy is very good at motivating the team to do what she wants, more so than Andrea. In an interview, Roxanne says she’s sure she’s not the only one who thought so, but she is the only one with the guts to admit it. Andrea thinks that Roxanne just wants to be coddled. Andrea tells Roxanne that she is very direct, and that if Roxanne can’t handle it, she’s not tough enough to work for Donald Trump.

The entire conversation is just dripping with irony, as far as I’m concerned. Trump asked Roxanne her opinion, and Roxanne answered it- that’s right- directly. And now Andrea cannot handle it. Perhaps she’s the one not tough enough.

Trump, Carolyn, and Bill are on a gigantic cruise ship, and Trump is making fake small talk about the ship. The candidates arrive, and Trump welcomes them to the Norwegian Jewel, a brand new boat for Norwegian Cruise Lines. Cruises are “big stuff,” worth $10 billion a year. For this week’s task, the candidates will put together a 30 second commercial to promote Norwegian’s “freestyle” program. Two executives from Norwegian (and if Trump isn’t going to bother to learn their names, I’m not either) will judge them. The “most original” concept will win.

I kind of doubt they’re really going for originality. For example, I bet there has yet to be a cruise line commercial in which the ship is attacked by ninjas. That would be totally original, but I don’t think I’d win. But I digress.

The added challenge is that the teams only have three hours on board the ship for filming before it sets sail. That’s not a lot of time.

Dan is the Project Manager for Gold Rush. To say he hits the ground running is an understatement – he hits the ground sprinting, delegating tasks at a mile a minute. In an interview, Lenny says that Dan was just ridiculously frantic. He was shaking, and Lenny wondered if he was going to have a heart attack. The team quickly arrives at the point. Only Norwegian offers freestyle cruising, with no set schedules. Dan wants to do a montage of the things you can do on board. Lenny suggests that they show a guy in a little boat who flags the ship down, boards, and is amazed with all of the great things he finds. Dan declares it “not that bad of an idea,” and before you know it, that’s the concept. In an interview, Dan says that he likes it because it will give them reason to show all of the different locations on the ship.

Synergy decides to contrast a traditional scheduled cruise with Norwegian’s freestyle idea. They film a couple in a restaurant enjoying a meal. Roxanne is the project manager, but Andrea isn’t impressed so far. She says the team is in chaos and that Roxanne is not leading. She didn’t delegate or schedule anything. Sorry, but I have to take everything Andrea says about Roxanne through the Andrea Hates Roxanne filter, so I’m not sure what to believe. As they film the scene, Sean yells words of encouragement including (I kid you not) “Keep acting!” Tammy is worried. They only have an hour and 45 minutes to get four more shots. That’s not a lot of time. The director asks that they have one person that they listen to, which I guess is an indication that Roxanne needs to take charge. That one gets through my Andrea Hates Roxanne filter. Tammy says that she’s worried that no one knows what their roles should be.

Now it is time for the Trump Lesson of the Week. This week: “Listen to Your People.” Trump says that you should hire smart people, then listen to what they have to say. As he does his voiceover, we see him talking to Season 3 winner Kendra. So for all of you wondering what happened to her, there she is. Now for the Betsy Lesson of the Week. This week’s lesson centers on dealing with a cranky toddler in the grocery store. My son Jack will ride in the grocery cart and as we go through the store, will develop weird fixations with random stuff he sees on the shelves. Not even things he’d actually want, but he’ll suddenly start yelling and straining for, say, a package of napkins. My latest brainstorm has been to swing through the floral department of the store first to get a helium balloon. I’ll clip it to the cart, and Jack will be happily distracted by it for as long as it takes for me to go through the store. When we’re done shopping, I’ll put it back where we got it. By then, Jack is content to flirt with the checkout lady and doesn’t need further distractions. I’m willing to bet that, of the people who read this article, more will think, “I should try that balloon thing,” than will think, “I should hire smart people and listen to them.”

Gold Rush has 42 minutes to go. Tarek and Bryce are getting shots of the theater, and Dan figures they can handle it. As Dan sets up the next shot, Carolyn arrives. Lee tells her what’s going on. When she’s up to speed, Lee and Lenny chat about how Dan is doing. Lenny is not impressed. Lee isn’t either, saying that Dan is doing everything himself, not letting anyone else contribute. “We’re good quality people,” Lee sighs. Charmaine and Leslie chat in the ladies’ room (really) about how frustrated they are to not be involved. If Dan used more of them, the whole thing would be a lot calmer and less frazzled. Bill shows up, and Lee fills him in on the status of the commercial. Dan notices this and says that Lee really doesn’t contribute much, but does manage to talk to the viceroys every time they show up. Meanwhile, Leslie is still frustrated. She has a background in broadcast journalism and thinks that experience could have really helped her team.

With 23 minutes to go, Roxanne talks to her actors. She explains that she wants to show a contrast between a traditional cruise experience and a Norwegian one. She asks the cameraman to make it look “drab and disgusting.” She then takes a phone call from Michael. Andrea looks disapproving about the fact that Roxanne stepped away, and immediately takes over the shoot. She tells the couple to look like they’re having slightly more fun – it’s not a terrible cruise, just “standard.” Does Andrea not get the concept? Other cruises not fun. Norwegian fun. That’s it. Roxanne gets off the phone and Andrea tells her about the change. Roxanne is annoyed and says in an interview that Andrea has a tendency to be bossy and take over. She does not “know how to play in the sandbox.” Bill watches the whole thing and shakes his head.