The Apprentice 5 Finale: Barenaked Hockey

Tonight, the final decision will be announced in the Orpheum Theatre in Los Angeles. Trump arrives, with Carolyn and George right behind him. I wish Don, Jr., Ivanka, and Bill were right up there with them. The three of them were a big part of this season, too. Trump and the viceroys sit down at a conference room table just like the real one. He explains that the finale is being held in Los Angeles because the next season will be filmed in L.A. Trump says he couldn’t have asked for two stronger candidates than Sean and Lee. Really? You couldn’t? Because I could.

Let’s see the two final candidates again. Sean is 2-0 as project manager. He says he’s going to be a passionate, driven employee. He says he’s proven himself in international business and is a perfect fit. Lee is only 23 years old and is 3-1 as project manager. Lee thinks his expertise in business, intelligence, and loyalty will make him a good candidate. In the first task, Sean’s charm made him a valuable asset. His popularity grew when he had the opportunity to visit the White House and felt more American than ever. Lee had a more challenging team to work with. He stumbled in his first task as PM, but after following Lenny’s advice, pulled off a win. He volunteered to be PM after a bad losing streak and had a huge win in the Ellis Island task. The two men worked well together, despite their many differences. Together, they trounced Synergy. They created a retail-friendly environment for Wal-Mart, then designed non-hideous uniforms for Embassy Suites.

Last week, on The Apprentice, Sean and Lee learned they were the final two. Sean assembled his “dream team” of Tammy, Tarek, and Andrea, figuring that would cover sales, marketing, and operations. He was assigned to organize a Barenaked Ladies concert at the Trump Taj Mahal. Lee sought to choose a team of people who cared about him, and with Lenny’s guidance, selected Lenny, Roxanne, and Pepi. Carolyn about died laughing since she didn’t even recognize Pepi. Lee was in charge of organizing a charity hockey game. As always, the episode ended with both candidates facing problems. In Lee’s case, Lys, the head of the charity, was completely unimpressed- and angry- with the lack of progress he’d made thus far. As for Sean, team member Andrea just had to leave because of a medical scare… coughing up blood is scary stuff. What will happen in the tasks? And who will win? We’ll find out soon.

Trump asks the audience who will win. Sean seems to get a much bigger response. He claims he hasn’t made up his mind yet. He encourages us to go online to vote. But first, let’s see where the two candidates are.

We start with Sean. Sean is prepared to lose Andrea if he has to. He says he’ll have to roll up his sleeves. The doctor assures Andrea that everything looks fine, but that if this continues, he’ll need to see her again. Andrea says she was upset to have to leave Sean, which is incredibly selfless of her. As the team tries to regroup, she returns. She wants to get right to work, but Sean wants to know how she is first. He is relieved to have her back, and says she’s a rock. Andrea doesn’t want to talk about it, just move forward.

Lys joins Lee and his team. She really wants to know what the plan is. Lee admits that he doesn’t have a script for halftime. Lys demands details on the “shirt off your back” auction. Lenny confuses Michael J. Fox and Jaime Pressley for Jamie Foxx. Oops. Lee says Lenny will approach the players, which causes Lys to make an alarmed face. She doesn’t think he sees the weaknesses in his team. She doesn’t think Lenny is the best person to greet the celebrities. As much as I love Lenny, she’s totally right. Lenny isn’t exactly a smooth operator. Lys says that this was obviously Lee’s choice as a leader and doesn’t look like a strong one.

Sean says he regrets not meeting with Mark from Pontiac. He goes to the concert venue with him. He wants to have the lead singer of the band dressed as a panda, which is the charity’s mascot. Mark says no- it’s a little too goofy for him. Sean suggests that the panda just walk on stage and is met with resounding silence. He backs down from his panda idea.

We see quick glimpses of Lee and Sean’s hometown parties, then it’s back to action. Sean meets the band. He says it’s “pretty sexy” to be working with rock stars. Tarek introduces George to the team for the VIP event. He says Sean has let him run with the event, which he might not have done himself. She explains the product in great detail, which I tune out. George doesn’t think Sean is spending enough time with his team.

The next morning, Lee is feeling good. Everything is set up, and he’s happy with his team. He’s going to meet with Christine from the Leary foundation. He reviews all of the details with her. She isn’t clear on how, for example, the players will show up. She hates his plan- it lacks drama. “There’s no show. I’m bored,” she says. Lenny then reveals that half of the stuff was stolen, then smiles- he was kidding. She’s not laughing. Lee asks Lenny not to make jokes- he’s making her more frustrated. She tells Lee that he “can’t wing it.” Roxanne says the meeting was a nightmare and really embarrassing. Things don’t look good, and they only have two hours.

Pepi and Lenny decide to guess on the sizes for the players. Lenny figures, for whatever reason, that the goalie needs a big jersey and small helmet. When in doubt, he gives everyone a medium. Pepi notices that some of the players seem to have more gear than the others. They shrug it off.

Sean joins Tarek, and they are looking for a CD that the SLS executives want. They are tearing apart the room looking for it. Sean asks over the phone for help. Tammy finds it in about two seconds, and sounds of triumph congratulate him. The studio audience cheers. Sean says she’s his lucky charm.

Jason Priestly checks in, and there is no one to greet him. Christine is not impressed. The woman at the door is supposed to call Lenny, but it’s too late. Lee goes to check it out. Roxanne reports that Lenny isn’t answering his phone. Lee quickly drafts another volunteer. She looks completely on top of things. Trump should hire that volunteer. Lee recaps that Lenny really screwed up. Lee and Lenny meet Jaime Pressley. Lee asks her to handle auctioning off the cars. She asks if he has a script for her, and he assures her it’ll be taken care of. Jaime looks forward to meeting the naked players, including one of the Baldwins. She goes to the locker room, where Stephen Baldwin ogles her. Not surprisingly, the jerseys don’t all seem to be fitting.

After meeting the players, Jaime is a little lost and doesn’t know what to do or where to go. Carolyn says that Lenny “is not giving a level of client to any client, donor, VIP- you name it.” She has no idea why he’s even on Lee’s team. She also has no idea why Lee chose Pepi. We end with Jaime Pressley wandering around aimlessly.

Trump brings out the fired candidates live. Brent’s hair looks marginally less stupid. Tammy has on a gorgeous red dress. Andrea is wearing jeans. And Roxanne appears to be wearing a weightlifting belt right under her chest.

We return to Lee with his VIP party. They aren’t getting many bids on the silent auction, and Lee encourages Pepi to push them. Trump calls, and Lee says he will be impressed with what’s going on. He promises Trump things will run on time. Lee hustles everyone from the party to the ice. He rushes to meet Trump, but doesn’t get there in time. Trump mutters, “They never learn” as Lee scrambles to find him. He does, however, have a reserved seat and a diet Coke ready for him.

The players skate out onto the ice, and the game begins. Some of them aren’t wearing helmets, which is scary.