The Apprentice 5 Finale: Barenaked Hockey

Sean’s event begins, and the Pontiac guy is unhappy at the lack of signage at the party. Andrea and Sean hammer out some final details. Andrea tells people all about the car and does a solid job of it. Sean swings by a salon and requests good luck hair gel. Oh, Sean.

Lee’s auction begins, and Jaime says she won’t be able to see bids because she can’t see well. She is annoyed because she doesn’t know what to do and demands that Lenny “get it together, little apprentice boy.” I love Jaime Pressley. Lys says she wondered if she’d see Lee shine. She’s happy now. Lee says goodbye to Trump. In an interview, he says he did “pretty darned well.” He feels confident. He’s got a lot more faith in himself than I do at this point, but I guess you can’t really end a task like that and say, “Yep, pretty much screwed the pooch on that one.”

Trump calls Sean and says he hopes to see good things. Tarek introduces the executives from SLS as Trump lands. Sean is waiting right for him, so there’s a point in his favor. The Pontiac guy complains to Andrea about the lack of signage. She does not look happy. The car auction goes for considerably more than Lee’s does- Lee sold his for $35,000, but Sean got $40,000. Sean is very happy and just hopes for a great show.

Trump “drives” on stage in a Pontiac, and George seems to get a real kick out of it. The concert starts, and Trump jokes again about naked ladies.

Lee thanks his team for their hard work. He says that no way did Sean’s team do this for him. He says that they all pushed for him and passionately feel he should be the next Apprentice. Meanwhile, George is dancing at Sean’s concert. Trump leaves and looks pleased. Sean says he’s proud of everyone and says he worked with the best people. He tells them that when he wins, it will be because of them.

Commercials. Dateline is doing another “catch a predator” special. Isn’t this, like, the fourth one they’ve done? They should change their name to PredatorCatchers NBC… um… or something more clever than that. You get my point, right?

And now for the Trump Lesson Of The Week: “Taking Credit.” Trump says it’s important to take credit for your success before someone else does. And now for the Betsy Lesson of the Week. This Betsy Lesson is inspired by the warmer weather. When you’re eating a popsicle, take a paper towel and poke a hole in the middle. Put the stick through it, and it’ll catch the drips.

Sean says he’s proven himself to be adaptable, more experienced than Lee. Lee says he’s not intimidated by Sean. He doesn’t think that his lack of experience is an issue- he is the epitome of an Apprentice. Sean says that he’ll be enthusiastic and will fight Lee if he has to. Lee says that when he’s Sean’s age, he’ll be far beyond where Sean is. He thinks they’re in the same place now.

The two go to the Boardroom. Sean says he picked a balanced team- sales, operations, and marketing. He thought they’d all get along well, also- he didn’t want conflict. He thinks that much of the task was won in the selection process. He thinks he won. Trump asks if he knows something he doesn’t. Sean says no, but he’s still confident. Lee says he chose a riskier team. Lenny is risky, Roxanne is a good lawyer, and who was Pepi again? Lee says he wanted people who were passionate about his winning. Carolyn says Pepi barely knows him. Lee explains that Pepi wants to prove himself. And Lenny? Lee says Lenny would die for him.

Sean says that his age and experience are a big advantage- Lee isn’t ready yet. Lee disagrees; look where he is now. He’s barely close to peaking. George isn’t impressed. Sean says he could hit the ground running now and could make him millions. Lee says an Apprentice grows and learns. He had a 4.0 GPA in college. Sean says he has equivalent grades. The two trade resumes, and they come out pretty equal academically. Trump says both are outstanding, and he’ll chose one to win live in Los Angeles.

Trump introduces Don and Ivanka. Don says that he’s spent a lot of time with the candidates, and they’re both great. Trump jokes that it’s not much help. Ivanka agrees and thinks he could work with either. She says, “So essentially, it’s back to you, Dad.” Call me, Ivanka!

Trump greets Randal, last season’s winner. Randal says everything is going well with his job so far, then pimps his website. Trump then brings out Lee and Sean. Once again, the applause is much louder for Sean. Trump talks to the fired candidates. He starts with Tarek. Tarek says he respects Sean and thinks he’s a great leader with real integrity. Trump teases Tammy about Sean’s crazy Tammy love. Was he too effusive? Tammy says it shows how much passion he has, and that he’d bring it to the Trump organization. Good answer, Trump says. Trump gives Lenny some love and says that he does remember Pepi. Trump asks why Lenny relied on him so much. Lenny jokes, “Who’s Pepi?” He says that Lee is “like a goat,” which has no age and only appreciates in price over time. Oh, wait- he said gold, not goat. Heh; funnier as goat. Charmaine thinks that both men are smart and creative, but Sean has the organizational and leadership skills that Trump needs.

Trump reviews the two jobs available and claims that the candidates’ choice will “probably” influence his decision. One potential job is a hotel being built in Hawaii. Ooh, that’s going to be hard to beat. The other job is in Soho, a condo-hotel. Sean says he’d like to learn as much from Trump as he can, so he’d choose New York. Lee loves New York, so he’d choose that job as well.

Trump polls the candidates and has those who like Sean stand up, then Lee. The votes seem split. George says that he’d be happy with either of them. Carolyn says she’ll pick one. They’re both great. Lee is creative, and Sean is an energetic motivator. Carolyn never actually says so, but I think she favors Sean. Lee says Trump should hire him because he has been different. Trump says he’s a politician. Lee says he’s volunteered to be PM a third of the time and is better than Sean. He’s a true Apprentice. Sean thinks he’s better- he has the aptitude and attitude, and has ten years of experience that would prepare him. He says, in answer to Trump’s question, that he loves Tammy and wants to marry her. Trump says that the viewer poll just closed. He says it’s pretty one-sided, which surprises him. He says he agrees with the vote, but it’s a tough decision. He’d almost like to hire both, but he won’t. Sean wins, and does a little dance of joy, as you might expect. He gives Tammy, of course, a huge hug. Trump tells him to go get his new car. Sean yells, “I’m the Apprentice, baby! Yes! He promises to work his fingers to the bone.”

Well, that was really anticlimactic. It looked like Sean pulled off a fantastic event, whereas Lee just did okay, but they never even discussed the final events. I don’t think they even mattered. Really, it came down to whether or not Trump thought it was important that Sean has more experience than Lee. Lee is incredibly accomplished, especially for someone his age, but there honestly is no comparison between the two when you look at the real world. Even more anticlimactic is the fact that there were about two minutes of filler at the end of the episode where they played the boardroom music over and over and we watched candidates shake hands with Trump. It was very strange pacing and felt really off.

Well, that’s it for this season. I’ll be ready to recap the L.A. season come January. See you then!

Betsy Wasser is the Associate Editor of Reality News Online. She can be reached with any comments at betsywasser@gmail.com

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