The Apprentice: Los Angeles, Episode 1: Working At the Car Wash

Ivanka has the results. Frank’s team focused on trying to attract customers, earning $2,345.54. Heidi’s team rolled up their sleeves and washed cars, earning $2,463. They all cheer as Ivanka congratulates them. Trump tells the winners that their reward will be dinner with Trump at Spago. They’ll be joined by celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck. The winners will live in the mansion, and Heidi will be the project manager until they lose.

Trump then adds that as winning project manager, Heidi will join him in the Boardroom to help him make a decision. Everyone looks nervous at this prospect. Trump tells Frank that he’ll get the chance to live in the tent that he so admired. They will stay in the tents until they win a task, at which time the opposing team will move into the backyard. Everyone grimaces or laughs at this news. Trump says it’s a case of haves and have nots. They’ll have to shower and do all grooming outdoors.

Derek says that the mansion is amazing. Everyone wanders around, scoping things out. Heidi enjoys the champagne, stocked fridge, and bedroom. All of the beds are in one room, which they’re not all thrilled about. Heidi says it’s “like camp,” and Derek wonders where the closet is. They agree, though, that it beats living in a tent.

The other team grimly sets up another tent and looks at the outdoor sinks. They hate listening to the other team celebrating. Frank says that he’s not a loser, and that when you lose, you don’t get the luxuries in life that you want.

When the sun sets, everyone looks for flashlights. Stefani says it feels like third world conditions, thus insulting any impoverished person out there, not that they’d watch this show. The other team relaxes with champagne in the hot tub.

Tim and Frank talk. Tim says he’s dreading the “who would you fire question,” and admits that he’d have to say Frank. Not that Frank is the weakest candidate, but they lost with marketing. Frank disagrees. With the margins so close, it wasn’t a lack of marketing, but a lack of hustle. As his voice gets louder, the other team starts to eavesdrop. Not that it’s hard to do, with Frank as loud as he is. Frank gets angrier, saying that not everyone gave 100%. He asks who didn’t give his all, and Tim names Martin. Tim acknowledges his point, but says that the project manager is more to blame than a bad salesperson. Martin is right there, listening to all of this. Awkward.

Frank thinks that Tim is playing Monday morning quarterback. He doesn’t think that’s fair, and says that if Tim wants to play hardball, he will. I’m sure Frank also said “step up to the plate,” but we went to commercial before he could bust out another sports metaphor.

Night falls, and while Heidi’s team peacefully snoozes, Frank’s team is subject to noisy dogs and sprinklers. We see lots of tossing and turning. The next morning, Martin looks contemplatively at the view. Tim hops out of the tent in his sleeping bag. Martin says he thinks he heard a rat, which totally freaks out Nicole. She then squeals when one of the guys points out a lizard.

Meanwhile, the other team floats in a pool. Nicole and Martin look at them over the bushes. She declares that they are going to win the next task big time. Tim says he’d love to get in that pool on such a hot day.

Tim, by the way, looks like Ryan from The Office and Heidi looks like Erin from For Love or Money. Also, I’m going to go ahead and call dibs on Tim as my Apprentice imaginary boyfriend.

Team Heidi gets glammed up and takes a limo to Spago. Surya is very excited about the reward. Trump and Melania arrive at dinner, then Puck joins them. Puck says that he loves what he does, and Trump declares that’s what makes him the best at it.

Team Frank eats outdoors at camp tables. They talk about how much they hate losing. Meanwhile, the others enjoy their dinner. Angela says she liked getting to know Trump. But Trump kills the fun by asking who did the worst. He then says, “This is a reward, what am I doing?” It’s a good thing none of them took the bait and answered, because that would have killed morale.

Back in Tent City, there’s nothing to do but dissect what went wrong. Was it the price points? Tim thinks the basic price should have been $15 instead of $10. The team recalls that Frank was the one who set the price. Martin takes this opportunity to trot out another African saying: Seize every opportunity as if it were your last. He says in an interview that he knew he was in trouble, so he tried to put the focus on Frank.

He asks Frank if they should have spent more time setting the price point. Frank thinks the price point was fine. Martin says that’s interesting, since the rest of the team disagrees. Frank says that considering how hectic and chaotic it was, it turned out great. Martin suggests that things would have been less chaotic if they’d spent more time planning. Frank, as you might imagine, does not appreciate that one bit. Tim says that many of them wish they’d spent more time talking. Martin feels like he’s managed to manipulate the rest of the team. “If I can pull this off,” Martin concludes, “I will be the greatest Apprentice ever.”

Good luck with that, Martin.

The next day, Heidi’s team talks about the opportunity she has to advise Trump. She says she has a bit of the strategy. She wants to keep the weak link. Heidi sees this as a reward, a chance to benefit her team. Everyone loves the idea.