America’s Next Top Model 8, Episode 1: Goodwill Hunting

Ahh, another season of ANTM. I freaking love this show! Tyra greets us, like she does every season, saying that America’s Next Top Model is now seen in 110 countries. Other countries have started their own version of the show, like Australia, China, Russia, France, and Germany – which is hosted by Project Runway’s Heidi Klum! Tyra says they are looking for girls to grow, and that is why they have narrowed the field down to 33 semi-finalists, who are being flown to LA.

The girls are arriving at the airport and we get a flash of a few of them. Melissa says that she is from the Bronx and is there to win. Another girl, Natasha, says that she was born in Russia, but now resides in Texas. Jaslene says that she is back again – if you don’t remember, she was the girl from last season that was extremely over the top, but so much fun. She’s happy to be given a second chance, and I have to say – she looks great!

Once the girls all pile into vans, they head away from the airport. They arrive at a military base and a girl named Michelene sees tents set up and gets worried. In come Jay Manuel and J. Alexander (Ms. J.) on a jeep, queening out. Natasha tells the camera that she “can’t believe [she] is seeing them alive!” I guess she was expecting them dead.

Jay welcomes the girls to “Top Model Boot Camp.” They are there to get the girls in shape and to cut the moaning and complaining now. A girl named Heather says that her dad is a drill sergeant and she is used to this. The girls are told to change into their camo outfits.

Jay begins barking out orders to the girls once they are changed. They begin posing, and he’s yelling things at them. Jael says that she is there to model, not to cure cancer, as we see a girl named Sarah win the “mini-posing competition” and get a medal.

Now, Ms. J. begins taking the girl’s measurements. Chelsea says that she is scared of what the judges are going to tell her, while Whitney, a plus-sized girl, feels that she can walk the runway with the best of them. There is another plus-sized girl there as well, Diana, and she thinks it’s great that there are two plus-sized girls there, and she doesn’t view Whitney as her competition. Well, you better start!

The girls do a march and chant a little rhyme that includes “ANTM,” of course. Finally, when they are at ease, Tyra comes stompin’ down the road! Whitney says that her mom was a Sigma, so she knows all about stompin’. Tyra tells the girls that from right this instant, she can see potential in some of the girls, and some who are going to go home. It is their job to prove to her that they deserve to stay, as she will meet with each of them.

All the girls assure Tyra they can handle the truth, and on that note, Tyra tells them not to bitch – they aren’t looking for that, and that she’ll see them in the casting room. As she heads out, Renee says that Tyra might come off as tough, but she could tell that she cares for every one of them.

The girls now get to the meet the judging panel for the semi-finals: Tyra, Jay Manuel, and Ms. J. Kathleen is up first, and she has a very big orange/red weave. She’s shocked and can’t believe she’s meeting Tyra. All she keeps saying is, “Tyra, you’re so pretty!” She says she’ll do anything to win, but the only modeling experience she has is strutting around Brooklyn. Okay, I love this girl!

Sarah is next to meet the judges, and Jay tells Tyra how she won the posing challenge. Sarah tells the camera that she’s a photographer and knows how to pose. [Assistant Editor’s note: Sorry, Sarah, we already have a CariDee.] Then she adds that nobody can hold a candle to her. She loves the industry, and whenever she wants something in life, she goes for it and gets it. Okay, I thought I was going to like this girl from the previews, but I think I was wrong. Ms. J. thinks she is cute, though.

Cassandra is up next, and she’s in a crazy outfit. She lets the judges fix her up a bit, then she tells them that she had a wig sewn onto her head because she’s “ghetto like that.” I have to admit – that’s pretty ghetto! She says that she wants to be fierce and has always been made fun of because of her height.

Heather meets the judges and tells them about her drill sergeant dad. The judges ask her to bark out some orders, and she yells at Jay to do some push-ups. When she tells Ms. J. to do the same, he says that he doesn’t do push-ups, but he’ll pose. I love it!

Natasha tells the judges about her move to America, which apparently happened when she decided to marry a 40-year-old American who was on a business trip in Russia. Oh dear God! She feels that there are no opportunities for her in Russia, and she feels American now. Jay says that he likes her in person and feels she looks much better than she did in her photos.

The girls are back at the hotel having fun. Kathleen accidentally flashes her boobs when she goes to show that she actually has some. Have I mentioned yet that I love Kathleen? Sarah goes on and on about how much experience she has in the industry and Natasha tries to debate her about it. Things get a little heated, but Natasha tells the camera that she knows she can beat them all anyway, so it doesn’t matter. If you say so!