Dancing with the Stars 4, April 2: Butt Talk

They are dancing the tango to “The Theme from Star Wars.” Joey’s moves are sharp, but his posture seems a little sloppy. He gets out a light saber, which I’m sure the judges absolutely hate. What happened to the lift from practice? Sigh. The dance works though on many different levels. You can even see the intensity of the dance in Joey’s face.

Len was worried about the silliness of the routine, but in the end, he thought the dance was great. He does tell Joey to watch how he sticks out his butt though. Carrie Ann calls the dance tight and charismatic. Bruno says that the force is still with Joey. He also tells him to work on his posture.

Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno give the routine an eight. Kym and Joey have 24 points.

Dancing next are Cheryl Burke and Ian Ziering. Ian says that his butt is sore from all of the hip action required in the jive. There has been a lot of butt talk this evening, huh? Cheryl takes Ian to a strip club to help him with his moves. He looks so uncomfortable. She makes him practice with the dancers. Ian’s performance is quite funny.

Immediately, Ian has to shake his butt; he does a nice job. The routine is fabulous; it’s fun, sexy, and entertaining. Cheryl and Ian have great chemistry. Thanks to bad camera work, we miss the very end of the dance; I’m sure it was as great as the rest of the performance though.

Bruno says that Ian flaunted it tonight, but that he should point his feet. Len says that Ian messed up a bit; the crowd boos him. Carrie Ann agrees with Len, but says that Ian did a great job. Do you get the feeling that there are different standards for different dancers?

Once again, each judge gives Ian an eight. He and Cheryl have 24 points.

Dancing now are Leeza Gibbons and Tony Dovolani. Leeza explains that holding the frame is the most difficult part of the tango. Tony says that he sometimes has to be hard on Leeza. You can see some of their frustrations coming out in practice.

They’re entertaining us by performing to “Jealousy.” Leeza missteps a few times and her moves aren’t as crisp as they should be; however, she has fun with the dance. In my opinion, she does a nice job, but lacks pizzazz.

Before the judges give their scores, Leeza tells them that she has been listening to their comments. Last week, she was told to be trampy; this week, she’s sporting a tattoo that says, “Tramp.” Tom says that he hopes it will come off with water.

Carrie Ann says that Leeza just showed her her boobie. That word makes me giggle. She then goes on to explain that she loved the routine despite it being basic. Len also says that the dance was simple, but well performed; it was her best dance so far. Bruno feels that Leeza delivered tonight.

Each judge gives the dance an eight. Leeza and Tony have 24 points. That doesn’t seem right, but they are entitled to their opinions.

The next performance is from Heather Mills and Jonathan Roberts. Heather says that the jive is going to be difficult for her. Jonathan feels that a lot of the moves will be impossible for her. She gets a new leg so that she can bounce on it.

They are performing to “Can I Get a Witness.” The dance begins with Jonathan and Heather jumping off of the stage. While that is impressive, the rest of the routine is very sloppy. I don’t feel like I’m watching a jive. Heather smiles throughout the dance though and is obviously enjoying herself.

Bruno wants to rename Heather to “The Incredible Heather Mills.” Um, OK. Carrie Ann commends Heather for adding difficulty to the routine. Len says that if Heather can do the jive, she can do anything.

Samantha asks Heather why she’s wearing sneakers. Heather explains that the sneakers allow her to bounce. Tom makes a joke about Master P wearing sneakers during season two and not dancing as well as Heather.

Each judge gives Heather and Jonathan an eight. The couple now has 24 points.

Dancing last this evening are Karina Smirnoff and Billy Ray Cyrus. Karina is so patient with Billy Ray as she teaches him their routine. He tells us that he likes the tango and would like it even more if he could perform it.

They’re dancing to “Rock the Casbah.” Billy Ray’s footwork is excellent; he’s really moving. However, he needs to watch his head placement. He’s looking at Karina too much. Also, he counts and it is very noticeable. The dance ends with Billy Ray sliding between Karina’s legs.

Carrie Ann says that the dance took balls. Len tells Billy Ray that he looks like he’s trying; it’s a job well done. Bruno appreciates the effort that Billy Ray is putting forth.

Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno give Billy Ray seven points each. He and Karina have 21 points. He tells Samantha that he has an achy breaky butt. What is it with all of the bum references this evening?

Tom and Samantha dramatically review the current standings:

Tom reminds us that tomorrow’s episode will feature Josh Groban, Ciara, and Survivor, and that Jimmy Kimmel will give us another dance lesson. Great. One more couple will leave the show. Who do you think it will be? Will there be an upset or will Edyta and John or Elena and Clyde, the couples with the lowest scores, go? No matter what, I'll be back with another recap. Don't miss it!

Jill is an east coast mama who loves sharks, zombie movies, and reality television. She welcomes your comments about these and other subjects, and can be reached at jilljones@verizon.net.

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